


When the Sun goes down

by Loubrator



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bondage, Bottom Louis, Daddy Kink, Groupie Louis, M/M, Mpreg, Rimming, Rockstar Harry, Top Harry, a lot of sex yaaay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-02-05 18:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1828744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loubrator/pseuds/Loubrator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is a rockstar who has written too many songs about love and Louis Tomlinson is a nobody with too many issues for a 22- year old.<br/>And this is what happens, when Harry starts believing in the bullshit he writes and Louis hopes that everything will be better someday. Somehow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my new fanfic, the first one I'm posting on AO3 (yaay) and I really hope you like it! Title from the song by Arctic Monkeys! You can talk to me on tumblr anytime at hugsziall.tumblr.com :) Xxx.

The crowd was cheering, screaming his name and singing along to his songs.

He still couldn’t believe that this was his life.

He got to do what he loved the most, singing the songs he wrote on his own, playing his guitar and standing on stage with his three best mates, touring America.

_Fucking America._

He never thought he’d get this far, they started in school as a little band, and now they were touring and travelling, earning money and spending their time in _studios_ to record for their _first bloody album._

Yes, Harry Styles had the perfect rockstar life.

‘’New York, you were incredible!’’ he screamed into the microphone before bowing down and running off stage, adrenaline pumping in his veins and making him shake, too excited, too happy, _too everything._

‘’That was a sick show, dude! Fucking hell!’’ Niall yelled and hugged him and his other bandmate, Liam, all three boys laughing and cheering, still full of energy. It would take a while for them to calm down and get tired, Harry could already tell.

‘’So what are we gonna do now? I really don’t wanna go back to the bus or the hotel,’’ Liam asked and Harry grinned.

‘’Let’s go out,’’ he suggested, ‘’let’s see if we can get laid, to make tonight even better.’’ Niall barked out a laugh, clapping him on the back.

‘’That’s my boy, Styles,’’ he winked and the three of them made their way to the changing rooms, taking their stuff and thanking their crew for everything, before walking towards the doors to get out of the venue.

They weren’t too famous yet, being a newcomer rockband, but quite the amount of people did hear about them, and they had a fine number of fans. Harry remembers when they were asked to do a magazine interview for the first time ever, Niall had fainted. And when he had woken up, he had cried. Harry has to grin when he remembers that time.

So, normally, there were fans outside of the arena, a lot of fans, even. Especially girls, standing there and clutching their phones, trying to get a picture with the boys. With Harry mostly, although he didn’t like to admit it, he was the most popular from the band, being the leadsinger and all. But the other boys were okay with it. Liam didn’t like to be the center of attention anyways, and Niall was claustrophobic, so he was happy people weren’t crowding him like they were Harry.

And Harry didn’t mind either, getting attention from pretty girls and sometimes even boys was quite amazing, to be honest.

When they made it to the car and into the hotel, the boys quickly changed and got ready to head to a club nearby. Harry was still fidgety and far from tired, secretly hoping he’d find a nice girl or guy to tire him out for the night, so he could sleep contently and properly fucked out.

‘’Here we are, guys,’’ Paul yelled and they got out of the car and into the club. Harry looked through the place, it was packed and loud music was blasting, people dancing and grinding, and the smell of alcohol and sweat hit him. That was what he needed tonight.

At the bar, Niall ordered them all a shot, and they downed them quickly.  
‘’Cheers to a great fucking tour, lads!’’ Niall yelled when they were holding their second shot in their hands, and by the third one, Harry felt a bit buzzed already.

‘’Let’s go dancing!’’ Liam yelled over the music and that’s exactly what they did, then, fooling around and acting crazy first, but when Niall started dancing with a fit bloke and Liam found a cute girl to be with, Harry started to look around for someone who could keep him company for the night.

And that’s when he spotted him.

The short boy with the delicious curves, sinfully swaying his hips to the beat of the music, throwing his hands up in the air and running them through his feathery hair. Harry’s world stopped for a minute when said boy looked over to him, his blue eyes full of mischief and a cheeky smirk forming on his lips.

Harry wanted that boy, wanted him badly, felt the desire to grab him and drag him out to the car and into the hotel and into the room and show him what he would be missing out on if he weren’t there with Harry, felt it so strongly in the pit of his stomach that his shoulders tensed and his breathing got a bit heavy.

He’s gonna get that boy.

Before he knew what he was doing, he strode towards the boy, gripping his waist from behind when he reached him and leaning in close to whisper in his ear. ‘’You do have quite some moves on you, babe, I’m impressed,’’ he spoke darkly and smoothly, earning a little chuckle from the smaller lad.

‘’Well, I’m glad you like my dancing, Mr. Styles,’’ _of course he knew who Harry was,_ ‘’but at the same time, I’m offended that you’d think I’d be anything else but good with moving my body.’’ The boy winked at Harry cheekily, and okay, he wants to play? Hell yeah, let’s play.

‘’I’d never, trust me!’’ Harry chuckled lowly, before pulling the boy’s back closer to his chest, swaying their bodies slowly, whispering into his ear huskily, ‘’but why don’t you show me everything you can do?’’

A smirk appeared on his face when he felt the boy’s breath hitch, tightening his grip on his waist and moving their bodies together. After a few moments, the other lad started moving too, grinding his arse into Harry’s crotch and reaching up to grasp his hair, throwing his head back onto Harry’s shoulder

‘’Let me buy you a drink,’’ Harry said after a bit of dancing, it wasn’t a suggestion or a question, it was a demand. ‘’What’s your name, babe?’’

 ‘’My name’s Louis Tomlinson and I’d very much like a drink,’’ Louis smiled at him mischievously, and they both made their way over to the bar, where Harry ordered himself a rum and coke, and a Mint Julep for Louis.

‘’We’ve known each other for barely ten minutes and you’re already spoiling me, eh?’’ Louis teased when they were seated in a booth, taking a sip of his drink, and Harry only chuckled.

‘’What can I say? I like spending money on pretty boys with delicious bodies, you know.’’

Louis raised his eyebrows as he watched Harry drink his rum and coke, his lips shiny because of the liquid. And he couldn’t believe he was sitting there, downing drinks with _The_ Harry Styles.

Louis obviously knew who he is, even a fan of the band, and he was on their concert that night. He never would have thought that he’d meet Harry in a random club in an ugly city, but he didn’t complain. Also, spending a night with the drop dead gorgeous male didn’t sound too bad, so what if Louis had to be a bit of a slutty tease? It’d pay off in the end.

‘’Oh, is that so?’’

‘’Yes, indeed.’’

‘’Well, then I think I should show you how much I appreciate the compliments, the drinks,’’ Louis smirked, moving closer to Harry and putting a hand onto his thigh slowly. Harry smirked back, his hand sneaking behind Louis to sit at his lower back.

‘’And how would you want to do that?’’ he asked huskily, leaning in enough so that Louis could feel his hot breath on his neck. Louis raised his hand to Harry’s chest, playing with the three necklaces, making the crucifix there jiggle.

‘’How about,’’ Louis traced the chain of the necklace, leaning in so he could whisper into Harry’s ear lowly, ‘’you take me back to your hotel, so I can show you.’’

Harry felt his breath hitch at Louis’ words, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take the boy back to his hotel and ruin him in every way possible. He cleared his throat and nodded shortly, taking Louis’ hand and standing up.  
‘’We better get going, then,’’ he said and Louis laughed, _God that laugh_ , following him out. They walked out through the backdoor to a car, Paul standing beside it, eyeing the boy on Harry’s arm skeptically.

‘’We’re going back to the hotel, tell the others so they don’t worry,’’ Harry requested, and with a nod Paul opened the door for the young boys, closing it when they were inside. Louis noticed that there was some sort of tinted glass separating them from the driver, and he was suddenly very glad he couldn’t be seen.  
As soon as the car started driving, Harry’s hands were on Louis’ hips, pulling him closer so he could smash their mouths together.

He immediately swiped his tongue over Louis’ bottom lip and when the other boy opened his mouth, their tongues mashed together perfectly, exploring each other’s mouths hungrily. Harry pushed himself closer to Louis, making the blue eyed boy arch his back, moaning into Harry’s mouth when he felt hands at the front of his trousers.

‘’You look absolutely fabulous in these, but I can’t wait to get you out of them,’’ Harry whispered shakily, reuniting their lips and smiling as he felt Louis’ hands in his hair. They continued their heated make- out session, kissing and feeling each other up, until they felt the car come to a stop, they had arrived at the hotel.

‘’Listen, there are a few paps outside, waiting to take pictures,’’ Harry tried to explain softly, his breath still labored. Louis looked at him a bit alarmed, he absolutely forgot about the paps.

‘’What do you mean, don’t you have bodyguards with you? Harry, I can’t-‘’

‘’Shh babe, listen to me! Just stay calm, okay? Take my hand and keep your head down. They won’t get quality pictures of you like that, okay? You alright with this?’’ Harry suddenly cared about the boy’s safety and well- being, when he saw how panicked Louis was he needed to make sure that Louis was absolutely okay.

Louis breathed in deeply and nods, closing his eyes for a moment before pecking Harry’s lips softly. ‘’Okay, yeah, I trust you,’’ he said quietly and Harry exhaled, kind of relieved. When the driver opened the door, Harry and Louis got out of it quickly, Louis staying a bit behind Harry and hiding his face in the taller man’s broad shoulder.

‘’Harry, Harry, is that your new boyfriend?’’

‘’Harry, who’s that guy there?’’

Questions were being yelled at them and camera lights were flashing, but Harry didn’t let that bother him, instead he just concentrated on getting Louis into the hotel as quickly as possible.

When they finally got into the hotel and the elevator, Harry stopped to check if Louis was alright. ‘’Hey, you okay? I know it was a bit too much, and I’m sorry,  shouldn’t have let you-‘’

‘’No!’’ Louis quickly interfered, ‘’No, it’s okay. I knew what I was getting myself into, I just forgot for a moment. So what if I’m on a magazine cover with you tomorrow, who cares? Well, except your fans, but they’ll be more jealous of my bum than the fact that I got to hold your hand, no biggie.’’

Harry let out an easy laugh and pulled Louis closer, kissing him softly, before exiting the elevator when they arrived on the sixth floor. They walked to Harry’s room quietly and as soon as they were inside, Louis pushed Harry against the door, kissing him feverishly and grinding his hips into the other man’s.

‘’Now, let me show you my gratitude, Mr. Styles,’’ Louis purred as he sank to his knees, and fuck, him calling Harry ‘Mr. Styles’ shouldn’t have been that hot, but damn, it was.

The boy skillfully opened Harry’s trousers and slid them down his legs, gasping at the huge bulge before him. He gripped Harry’s cock through his boxers, stroking and kissing it through the material, enjoying how the younger boy let out delicious moans. When he felt Harry was completely hard, he pulled down his boxers and let his beautiful massive prick spring out. Louis licked his lips and began kissing Harry’s length, licking up and down along the shaft and sucking at the tip, hard.

‘’Ugh, babe,’’ Harry moaned above him, letting one hand trail into Louis’ hair, gripping it tightly, not pushing but just holding. His other hand went up his own shirt, slowly caressing his toned stomach and occasionally pinching his nipples, making him gasp. Louis now had Harry’s cock in his mouth completely, sucking and licking as best as he could. He took him down without struggle, and Harry was really impressed, it seemed like Louis had no gag reflex at all.

Harry groaned loudly as he felt Louis suck on his balls while stroking his cock, biting on the skin lightly and taking them into his mouth. ‘’Yeah baby,’’ Harry breathed out, pushing Louis’ head closer to his crotch, ‘’just like that… Yeah, suck these balls, fuck…’’ He closed his eyes and threw his head back, hitting the door. At this point, he didn’t care who was outside and who could hear him, he just wanted Louis’ mouth on his cock forever. He felt his stomach tighten with the feeling of absolute pleasure, and he knew he’d come soon.

That’s when Louis pulled off, taking Harry’s dick into his hand and stroking slowly, but firmly. ‘’You close?’’ he asked, and _fuck,_ his voice was so raspy from getting his mouth fucked, and Harry felt himself even closer to his climax.  
The only thing he could do is nod and let out a low grown, his words stuck in his throat. Louis only chuckled and kissed his tip again, tugging at Harry’s dick faster.

‘’You wanna come on my face? Or in my mouth? You can choose, babe,’’ Louis teasingly asked and Harry moaned brokenly, opening his eyes and looking down at Louis. Louis, who was on his knees for Harry, who looked so pretty with his shiny lips and swollen mouth, who had his hand on his crotch, palming himself firmly.

‘’Let me- let me come on your face, yeah,’’ Harry gritted out, grabbing Louis’ hair and pulling him back, holding him in place as he started to jack himself off, fast and hard and filthy, before he spurted his hot semen onto the older boy’s face, moaning brokenly and suppressing a low shout. Louis’ name falling off his lips in a quiet moan, he jerked his cock through his orgasm.

Louis was amused by how heavily Harry was breathing, and they hadn’t even started properly. ‘’I hope we’re not done here, Mr. Styles, I must say I was expecting a bit more,’’ Louis teased in a light voice as he wiped the come with his fingers and stuck them in his mouth, thinking he could play games with Harry. Oh how wrong he was.

Harry looked down at him with dark eyes, a wicked smirk on his sinful lips.  
‘’You’re in for a treat, then, princess,’’ he growled before surging forward and smashing his mouth into Louis’, fucking his tongue past the other boys’ lips. Quickly, he kicked off his jeans and his hands easily found Louis’ waist as he pulled hi to his feet and walked them back towards the large hotel bed, pushing him roughly onto it as they got there.  
He got on top of the lad and immediately started kissing and sucking on his neck, probably leaving a few bruises. But fuck if he cared. Louis was his for the night.

‘’Gonna give it to you so good, baby,’’ Harry rasped into Louis’ ear as he bit licked the lobe, enjoying the filthy moans escaping from Louis’ lips.  
‘’Harry…,’’ he moaned loudly, pulling at the other boys’ curls, shifting so they were face to face and kissing him hotly. Harry pulled away to take his shirt off, exposing his toned body to Louis, who sat up and started kissing down Harry’s torso. He licked a stripe up from his navel to his collarbones, nibbling and sucking at the skin there, biting into it and exhaling shakily at the low moan Harry released. He straightened up so he and Harry were kneeling on the bed, right in front of each other, and pecked Harry’s lips quickly.

‘’Now the whole world will know what the boy you took up to your hotel room did to you,’’ Louis smirked and Harry chuckled, attacking his lips again.  
As they were making out, Harry’s hands wandered to the hem of Louis’ shirt, grabbing it and quickly pulling it over his head before reuniting their lips.  
He ran his hands all over Louis’ body, his torso, his arse, his crotch.

‘’You’re so hot Lou,’’ Harry gasped against his lips, ‘’can’t wait to wreck that little body of yours.’’ Louis whimpered quietly and grinded into Harry’s hand further, moaning at the friction. He quickly undid his trousers and pulled them off along with his pants, leaving him naked, just as Harry was.

‘’I wanna do so many things to you, you have no idea,’’ Harry growled as he tossed Louis onto the pillows and hovered over him, taking his hard cock in his hand and jerking him off while biting at the other boys’ nipples. Apparently, Louis was having none of it. ‘’Fuck me already, need you inside me,’’ he panted and Harry obliged with a smirk, getting the lube out of the beside drawer and slicking up his fingers, circling Louis’ rim with one.

‘’So how about you let me hear you beg one last time before I give it to you, huh?’’ Harry smirked while teasing Louis’ hole, making him squirm and moan. ‘’Don’t be a dick, c’mon,’’ Louis whined and tried to push down a bit, getting pinned to the bed by the hips immediately after.

‘’None of that,’’ Harry growled impatiently, ‘’beg a bit, be a good boy!’’  
Louis let out a breathy chuckle at Harry’s demand and pulled the boy down for a kiss, licking into his mouth skillfully, before whispering, ‘’Please baby, give it to me hard, just like I know you can. Prep my little hole for your huge cock and pound into me till people start complaining,’’ and okay.

Harry was so ready to wreck the boy beneath him, pushing two fingers in at once and thrusting slowly first, then picking up his pace.  
‘’Love the burn,’’ he faintly heard Louis whisper, and he sped up his thrust and scissored his fingers inside of the boy, relishing in the way the other lad moaned and squirmed.

‘’Think you’re ready now?’’ Harry whispered into his ear while biting his earlobe gently, kissing the spot behind his ear.

‘’Yes, ugh, please… Harry- ah _fuck_!’’ Louis’ begging was interrupted by Harry, who quickly thrust deep into him at once, not even giving the smaller lad time to adjust.

He pounded Louis hard, going slow and deep in between, and suddenly thrusting hard again. The older lad pulled him down to reach his neck, kissing and nibbling on it, and Harry’s hands clenched in the pillow Louis’ head was on as Louis found the sweet spot on his neck.

‘’You’re so good, baby,’’ Harry whispered into his ear, ‘’so nice and tight for me, so loud and sexy. God, I can’t get enough of you.’’

Louis felt he was close to release, quickly stuttering that out to Harry.

‘’It’s alright baby, you can come. Come for me, Lou.’’

As Harry gripped his cock and gave three particular hard thrusts, Louis couldn’t hold it anymore and let go, spilling between their bodies. His body shook and the goosebumps on his skin appeared, but the only thing he could concentrate on was Harry as he came, his lips swollen and cheeks cherry red.

‘’Oh, fuck,’’ Harry exclaimed as he collapsed on top of Louis, hugging him tight and resting his head on Louis’ chest. Louis’ fingers found a way into Harry’s hair, playing with it while his breathing slowed.

‘’Don’t,’’ Louis whispered as Harry was about to roll off of him, ‘’stay inside for a little, like the feeling of your heavy cock in me.’’

He smirked when he heard Harry groan, his grip tightening around Lou’s waist.

‘’Stop, ‘r gonna make me hard again.’’ Harry mumbled, leaning up to kiss Louis’ lips chastely.

‘’Night, Harry Styles.’’

‘’Goodnight, Lou baby. Sleep well.’’

And yeah, you could say Louis hasn’t slept that well in what felt like months.

X

The next morning wasn’t as awkward as Louis thought it would be.

When he woke up first, he was a bit startled because he had no clue where he was and how he got there, but feeling a heavy arm and a little sting in his arse he remembered last night’s events.  And if that didn’t make a smirk appear on his face, no idea what else did.

He turned around quietly and saw Harry still sleeping and, _holy motherfucking shit_ , he had had sex with Harry Styles. _The_ Harry Styles. Leadsinger of the band Lover Undercover, a real flirt, _Jesus Christ_ , known and adored worldwide.

And well, Louis got to see his cock.

Which.

Yeah, makes him really happy. Makes his fucking day, in fact.

He reached out and began tracing Harry’s jaw with his pointer finger, slipped his hand into the curls and pulled him in for a kiss, morning breath be damned.

Naturally, Harry woke up, and naturally, he kissed Louis back.

‘’Morning, sunshine.’’ He rasped in his sleepy voice, pecking Louis’ lips once again and pulling him closer to his body.

‘’Oh, pet names it is now? Didn’t know we were that far yet,’’ Louis grinned but let himself be pulled in regardless. He cuddled into Harry’s chest, hearing the soft rumble of Harry’s chuckle.

‘’I was inside you last night, I doubt we have to talk about how far we are at any point,’’ Harry pointed out and, yeah. He was indeed inside of Louis, if Louis’ stinging arse is anything to go by.

And Louis totally _didn’t_ flush red at the mention of the amazing sex they had. _No he didn’t._

‘’I better get going,’’ Louis rasped, clearing his throat before sitting up and looking for his phone in his jeans pocket. He had to call Zayn to pick him up.

‘’Why?’’ Harry asked behind him, Louis could practically _hear_ him pouting, tracing nonsensical lines on Louis’ back. When Louis finally found his phone, he quickly sent Zayn a text with the hotel’s address and a desperate _pick me up or ill fall in luv with a rockstar and theyre dangerous u know it_ while avoiding Harry’s unnecessary question.

‘’Well, I’ve got a life, and you’ve got a life- a pretty great one if I may add- and we both have to go on with it now. The sex was great, by the way,’’ Louis replied haphazardly while putting on his clothes, not too comfortable with the way Harry was staring at him from his spot on the bed.

Harry sat up in bed, the sheets still covering his private bits, and looked at Louis with furrowed eyebrows. ‘’Stay for breakfast at least? I don’t have much going on today, and maybe we could go again, since you’ve liked it that much.’’ The smirk he had on his face made Louis want to punch him as hard as he could. He didn’t, of course.

Louis rolled his eyes and looked over at the smirking jerk on the bed, and sighed deeply.

‘’How about I give you my number? And when you’re here again, you call me and then we can do this again, yeah?’’

‘’You’re not even from New York,’’ Harry stated, his smile not faltering.

Louis’ eyebrows furrowed. ‘’And why would you think that?’’

‘’The accent.’’

‘’What if I’ve moved here a while ago?’’

‘’You’d still have a somewhat American accent. I do, and I’ve been here for a total of three days. Can’t fool me, princess.’’ His smirk appeared again.

And okay. This kid was smarter than Louis thought he would be, Goddamn it. Good music, nice looks, loadsa money _and_ very intelligent?  
He had to get out of there quickly, or else he’d be damned.

‘’Alright, smartass, I’ll give you the number I use in England and you call me there, how about?’’

‘’Sounds good to me,’’ Harry said nonchalantly, but Louis knew he cared a lot about getting his number. He had to, for fuck’s sake, did you see Louis? He was sex on legs, he knew that, Harry would never be able to resist.

‘’Good, here you go,’’ Louis took Harry’s phone and quickly typed in his number, sending himself a text, saving Harry’s number and handing the phone back, ‘’call me when you miss me and can’t stand another second without my delicious arse.’’

Suddenly his phone started vibrating, the ID reading _Harry Styles_ with a winky face, when he looked up Harry was looking at him with a smug expression on his face.

‘’You bloody wanker!’’ Louis yelled and jumped onto the bed, despite having his shoes on, grabbed a pillow and started hitting Harry with it. ‘’You’re impossible!’’ he screamed after a few hits.

Harry was trying to shield himself with his hands, he knew he could easily wrap his arms around Louis and throw him onto the bed beside him, but he had too much fun. ‘’You said I should call when I miss your arse, and that’s exactly what I did,’’ Harry laughed and after a few moments Louis broke out in laughter, too.

‘’Impossible,’’ Louis repeated and looked at Harry fondly. The boy truly was something else, Louis could tell after only a few hours with him.

The vibration of Louis’ phone interrupted the answer, and he checked to see that there was a message from Zayn, _waiting outside for you tell me you didn’t do anything too stupid_ , and he sighed. ‘’My roommate is picking me up, I really have to go. But you have my number, yeah?’’

Harry nodded with a small smile.

‘’I’ll call you, don’t think I won’t.’’

‘’You’re like an overly attached boyfriend, Jesus Christ,’’ Louis scoffed and stood up, checking if he had his wallet with him before walking towards the door.

‘’We’ll see!’’ he heard Harry yell, and with a playful eyeroll and a small smile on his lips, he left the hotel room and made his way out.

 

 

 


	2. When the Sun goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here you have chapter 2, yaay! Thanks to everyone who's reading it and leaving comments and kudos, you have no idea how much that means to me!  
> I hope you like this chapter, and tell me what you think of Louis' and Zayn's relationship, in the comments or on my tumblr at hugsziall.tumblr.com, yeah?  
> Love you all, enjoy Xxx.

‘‘So what’s with that rockstar boy?‘’ is the first thing Louis heard when he got into the shitty car Zayn had rented. He rolled his eyes and put his seatbelt on, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

‘’I’ll tell you when we get home, can you please drive now?’’

‘’Why, wanna escape the pap that took a shot of you?’’

Louis’ mouth went dry. ‘’P-pap? There’s a photographer?’’  
He quickly turned around and started looking for a photographer that might have taken a picture of him leaving the hotel, missing Zayn’s eyeroll. Getting papped would be seriously bad for him.

‘’I was joking, calm the fuck down,’’ Zayn smirked and started the engine, beginning to drive.

Louis turned around again, relieved, though he still had a pout on his lips.  
‘’Not funny, there were photographers in front of the hotel last night. It was some scary shit, had to hide my face in Harry’s shoulder.’’

‘’Oh, Harry it is? Isn’t that the guy you’ve been thinking about while jacking off in the shower?’’ Louis went to protest, but Zayn interrupted him. ‘’Don’t think I don’t hear you.’’

Louis’ cheeks flushed red. So what if he did have fantasies about Harry Styles, that boy was a walking sexual frustration. ‘’I have every reason to. And by the way, his cock is massive.’’

Zayn only chuckled and shook his head fondly, turning the steering wheel.  
‘’You fancy him more than a celebrity crush now?’’

You see, Louis Tomlinson was a person that fell fast, and always fucking face first. Buy him a drink at a bar, shag him good against a wall, and he’ll be daydreaming about you for the next three months.  
Has happened before, with Greg, with Stan, Josh, there was this Justin boy, and quite many guys he forgot the name of (he still remembers how their dicks looked like, not surprisingly). And Harry Styles was just. _Well,_ he was Harry Styles. Known for his charm and good lucks, for his romantic yet sexual songs and for currently being the biggest flirt in the music industry. Louis just couldn’t help but fancy him, especially since he experienced the charm in real life, _he was Harry’s center of attention for the night._ Just thinking about the thought of that made Louis all squirmy. And when Harry practically begged him to stay that morning, Louis knew he was done for. He had to play hard to get or else he really would have stayed and that wouldn’t have been good at all, really.  
So yeah, he might have a _little tiny eezy breezy_ bit more than a crush on Harry Styles.

‘’No,’’ he lied stubbornly, ‘’just a little crush and a hot fuck, ‘s all.’’

Zayn raised his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘’How did you manage to stay calm and not fanboy all over the place?’’

‘’First of all,’’ Louis began all serious, ‘’I never _fanboy_ , alright, I happen to be _excited_ for new song and videos. And, well, alcohol calms me down, really.’’  
It was true, though. If Louis was out with his friends to have fun, alcohol made him jittery and full of energy. But if he was out to get rid of his sexual frustration and take a boy home, it made him calm and flirty. His friends said it was weird, he himself thought it was quite useful.

When they finally arrived at the apartment complex where Zayn’s friend Ant lived at, an old building with flats too small and walls too grey, they parked the car and got into the flat, Ant not being home. Just as Louis was about to subtly sneak into a guest room so he could avoid having The Talk with Zayn, the younger boy grabbed his arm and pulled him into the living room, sitting down and not so softly seating Louis into his lap.

‘’Is that necessary?’’ Louis snapped but stayed seated, he knew that even though Zayn looked skinny, he was still a lot stronger than Louis.

‘’Yes. Now tell me, how was it? How did you even get him to notice you and how did you get in his pants, bloody hell _Louis._ ’’

Louis smirked, Zayn always liked to know about Louis’ hook up’s and he also told Louis about his, but Zayn was a jealous bastard and Louis knew that he was in for a good fuck, he had to tell Zayn the story first, though.

‘’Well, I was at the concert and they were amazing, of course, and I met a few people there since nobody wanted to go to the gig with me,’’ he turned around and shot Zany a pointed glare, getting a apologetic smile in return, ’’and after the concert we decided to go out to the nearest club to make party. When I found out that Lover Undercover was there too, I left the group of people I came with and started looking for the band.’’

‘’Such a stalker,’’ Zayn teased and made a hissing sound when Louis elbowed him into his stomach.

‘’Shut up you twat,’’ he complained. ‘’Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, so, lucky me actually found the band and of course I immediately made sure that I was dancing close enough for them to possibly notice me. Unfortunately they were being their fucking selves and goofing round with each other, fucktards, they are.’’

He heard Zayn coo and suddenly he felt a wet press of lips on his cheek, Zayn cuddling him closer. ‘’You were lucky enough, though. Tell me more, how did you get his dick?’’

‘’Curiosity killed the cat, Zayn Malik,’’ Louis teased, ‘’but alright, I’ll tell you. I saw Niall dance with a bloke and I waited a few more minutes, and Liam was gone off dancing too, so Harry was the only one left. I started inching closer to their table and moving my _breathtakingly fantastic_ arse as best as I could, and after a few sways I feel hands on my hips and a voice whispers in my ear.’’

‘’What?’’ Zayn gasped, ‘’No way in _hell_ , Lou you’re making that up!’’

‘’I swear I’m not,’’ Louis laughed and turned around to straddle Zayn’s lap, ‘’and it was _Harry fucking Styles,_ that’s exactly how it happened! And he bought me a expensive drink, then, Zayn, I’m talking a few hundred dollars here!’’

‘’Why would he spend so much money on a stranger?’’ Zayn wondered out loud, smirking as Louis’ mouth dropped.

‘’Excuse you, I’m worth far more than a hundred dollars,’’ Louis protested and exhaled shakily as Zayn leaned down to kiss his neck.

‘’Yeah?’’ Zayn breathed against the skin of Louis’ neck, ‘’he took you back to his hotel then?’’

Louis could only nod as he let Zayn pepper his neck with kisses, rough ones, soft ones.

‘’Did he fuck you good?’’ the younger lad asked as he sneaked his hands under Louis’ shirt, pulling on his left nipple softly, ‘’did he give it to you like you need it? Does he have a big cock?’’

Louis chuckled breathily at Zayn’s jealousy, it was always like this. Every single time. Even though they weren’t anything serious, nothing more than best friends and occasional fuckbuddies, Zayn liked to show Louis on whose cock his mouth should stay only. 

‘’Answer me,’’ Zayn growled as Louis apparently took a bit too long, yanking on his feathery brown hair. Louis arched his back and let out a broken moan, he couldn’t deny that he loved it rough.

‘’Yeah, he- he was great, great cock an- _ah_ ,’’ Zayn sucked hard on his sweet spot, ‘’Zee, _please_.’’

‘’Please what, huh? Tell me baby.’’

‘’F- fuck me Zayn, I need it,’’ Louis whined as he gripped Zayn’s hair and pulled him closer to his neck, tilting his head back to desperately give Zayn space to kiss and suck on.

Zayn let out a chuckle, throwing Louis off him onto the sofa and getting on top of him. ‘’Such a little slut Lou, you just got dicked last night, didn’t you? Was Mr. Styles not good enough, huh?’’

‘’N- no, he was amazing, but- Zayn, I need _you,_ right the fuck _now_ ,’’ Louis begged and smiled as Zayn kissed him on the lips, hard. He already knew what Zayn would do to him, he’d carry him into the bed they shared while staying at Ant’s, fuck him into the mattress and make him come a second, maybe even a third time.

Zayn Malik was a generous man who loved giving Louis his orgasms.

Zayn started to unzip Louis’ trousers and when he grabbed his bulge through his boxers, Louis had to bite his shoulder to keep from letting out the loudest moan that would’ve disturbed the neighbors for sure.  
Louis was very vocal in bed, don’t know if you’ve noticed yet.

Just as Zayn was about to kiss down Louis’ body and suck him off eventually, they heard jiggling at the front door and immediately jumped apart, fixing their clothes and hair, pretending to hold a casual conversation just as Ant walked in.

‘’Alright lads?’’ he asked and went to his room after what Louis assumed must’ve been a very tiring day at work, and he and Zayn let out a sigh of relief.

‘’He would have killed us if he saw,’’ Zayn though out loud and Louis nodded, yeah, he was aware of that.

So, seemed like he wouldn’t be getting it from Zayn tonight. Fuck.

X                                                                                                        

Harry watched Louis leave his hotel room with a cheeky smile on his face, shaking his head as he heard the door slam shut. What a nice night he had had.

Letting himself fall onto the covers, he grabbed his phone from the table beside the bed and quickly dialed a number.

‘’Hey Harry!’’

‘’Liam mate, have you and Niall had breakfast yet? No? Perfect, meet you downstairs in ten.’’

He got out of bed and into the bathroom, leaning against the sink and looking at himself in the mirror.

His hair was a mess, his throat was full of hickeys and you could clearly see scratches on his chest. He looked freshly fucked and he loved that look more than anything, suited him, he said.

When he got dressed and ready for breakfast, wearing a flannel that showed off his upper body and the marks there, he headed out.

When he entered the hotel’s dining hall he heard Niall whistle.

‘’You been in a war or something? These things must fucking hurt,’’ Niall commented amazed, while Liam just eyed him with his brows furrowed.

‘’Nah, just had company for the night. Wasn’t too bad, I must say,’’ Harry smirked as he sat down and grabbed a bagle, starting to put jam on it.

‘’Y’know,’’ Liam began as he stuck a grape in his mouth, ‘’you could’ve worn something else. To, you know, hide the marks, maybe?’’

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, was Liam Payne.  
Always worrying and caring, looking out for Harry and Niall because without him, they’d probably kill somebody. Or themselves, who knows. Unintentionally, of course. Even though he did like to mess around sometimes too, he didn’t want the boys’ behavior to get too much out of control.  
‘’We’re in a bloody _rockband,_ Liam,’’ Niall had always said, ‘’we’re allowed to be careless and wild and whatever. They expect it from us, even.’’  
But nope, Liam still cared about their image and influence and whatnot.  
A bore sometimes, but like already mentioned, without him, the boys would be laying dead in a ditch somewhere, so. They keep him around.  
(He’s also their best friend and a fucking good drummer, quite useful, that one.)

Harry playfully rolled his eyes as he took a bite off the bagle.  
‘’I like these, why should I hide them?’’

‘’Teenage girls are not gonna be impressed that you’re fucking around and you know it.’’

‘’We’re in a rockband, what do they expect? Besides, management never says anything about the rumors, so I couldn’t care less. We done talking about that topic?’’ he was starting to get annoyed, who was Liam to tell him what to do? Why should he care about some girls sobbing their heart out just because they couldn’t have him? He didn’t mean to be rude, but it was honestly not really his problem.

‘’So, that twink last night, huh?’’ Niall broke the silence, asking with a grin, ‘’How was it?’’

‘’Amazing,’’ Harry smirked, ‘’Nothing but amazing. He’s pretty, hot, pretty hot, funny _and_ cheeky, can you imagine?’’

‘’Were you taking him out on a date or fucking him into a mattress? Why do you know so much about him?’’ Niall asked with raised eyebrows, holding back laughter.

‘’Talks a lot during sex,’’ Harry casually replied while finishing off his breakfast, ‘’will have to shut him up next time.’’

That’s when Liam stood up, the chair shrieking against the floor, and took his vest. ‘’Too much information bro, see you in the tourbus.’’ And with that, he was gone.

Harry rolled his eyes again and took a sip of his coffee, cringing, the sugar was missing. ‘’He’ll come around, you know how Liam is,’’ he heard Niall assure him as he was adding a spoon full of sugar to his coffee.

‘’Whatever,’’ he shrugged and watched as Niall stood up, leaving him with a pat on the shoulder.

Harry was sick and tired of rules and nagging. He was perfectly capable of keeping things under control by himself, thank you very much.

X

Eight days.

It took Harry eight days to text him.

And well, Louis wasn’t really mad or anything, not really, but the thing is.

He thought Harry was _desperate. Needy. Longing for Louis’ arse._

So he did expect a text sooner, but whatever, he was busy anyway.  
Zayn and he got back to London and they had to pay taxes and the rent and whatnot, and then Zayn had to get his car fixed which meant that Louis had to work doubleshifts at the bar and well, they had to _survive_ because they were _fucking broke_.

But whatever.

So when the text came, he was a bit surprised because he had almost forgotten about it. _Almost._

 _Guess who’s back in London? Xx_ it read, and yeah, that made Louis a bit happy because that meant that he’d maybe get the chance to meet and kiss and fuck Harry again and, honestly, who wouldn’t want that?

 _Dunno, heard Ed Sheeran had left the country for a bit didnt know he was back tho_ he texted back, because well, he was Louis and he was always playing abit hard to get.

_Hahaha, you’re really funny princess. You busy tonight? Xx_

_Hm, maybe… depends on why youre asking_

_Wanna see you, go out on a drink maybe? xx_

Alright, what was he playing at? And was Louis really going to give in?

_Think I could manage to make time for u, when?_

_I’ll pick you up at 6? Xx_

_No paps?_

_Promise, princess! Xx_

Louis exhaled shakily, nodding to himself. Alright, he’d do this.

_Will be ready at 6 x_

X

‘’Why did I do that?’’ Louis asked for what seemed like the 10th time that night.

‘’Dunno,’’ Zayn replied uselessly, he’s been saying that over and over again.

Louis looked through his closet to find something suitable to wear, but he literally couldn’t find anything. He owned a lot of clothes, too many if you ask Zayn, but Louis didn’t care. He still didn’t have anything to fucking wear.

‘’How about these black jeans,’’ Zayn stood up and pulled them out of Louis’ closet, ‘’and… this- yeah, this shirt. Would look good, wouldn’t it?’’

Louis considered it, looking at the stuff Zayn was holding, and he hated to admit when Zayn was right with something, but damn if he wasn’t. That shit would look amazing on him.

‘’Malik, you’re a genius,’’ Louis grabbed the clothes and with a kiss on the cheek he was off to the bathroom to shower.

Zayn shook his head fondly and pulled out a cigarette, making his way onto the balcony for a smoke.

When Louis got out of the bathroom, all dressed up and ready, Zayn’s jaw dropped to the floor.

‘’ _Lou,_ ’’ he spoke in awe, ‘’holy shit, I’m. Damn. Spin for me.’’

And that’s what Louis did. With a satisfied smirk on his face he spun once and twice, putting a hand on his side and jutting his hip out.

‘’You like it, Zee?’’

‘’I don’t think I can let you go on a date like that,’’ Zayn smirked while wrapping his arms around Louis’ hips and pulling him closer. ‘’I really wanna fuck you right now.’’

Louis pretended to think about that for a minute. Of course he already knew the answer.

‘’Sorry Zee, but it’s Harry Styles. I ain’t ditching him for you.’’

Zayn gasped, pretending to be offended.

‘’Still love you, though,’’ Louis smiled, faking innocence, before pecking Zayn’s lips and exiting the room, waiting in the hall for Harry to text him.

After a moment, Zayn came in, too.

‘’Use protection and if he tries things you don’t like, you bite him in the dick, got it?’’ Zayn always gave him these instructions and that advice, it was ridiculous.

Louis heard his phone beep, a sign that Harry was here, and he opened the door. ‘’Yeah Zee, I know. See ya tomorrow,’’ he smiled and stepped out of the apartment and to the lifts, getting out of the building.

In front of it was a expensive looking black car with tinted windows, waiting for him, and Louis felt the sudden urge to pinch himself to make sure that was all real. He didn’t, though, it would’ve been far too weird. He swayed his hips suggestively as he made his way over to the car and thanked the driver who was holding the car door open for him.

‘’Why hello there,’’ he heard a deep raspy voice and once he got seated, he turned around to Harry fully.

‘’Hello, Mister Styles,’’ Louis cheekily replied, letting Harry kiss his lips softly and run his fingertips along his cheek.

‘’Hmmm, never gonna get over you calling me Mister,’’ Harry spoke against his mouth with a  smirk, kissing Louis again and biting at his lip gently.

‘’I could think of many more things to call you, to be honest,’’ Louis smirked and kissed Harry yet again, swiping his tongue over his lip, being granted entrance immediately.

Louis let out a quiet moan as Harry’s hands found their way to his hips, gripping them while Louis had his hands on Harry’s shoulder. They were kissing like that for a while, occasionally biting each other’s lips or pulling on each other’s hair.

‘’I wanna suck your cock,’’ Louis panted as Harry was about to suck a bruise into his neck, making Harry let out a growl.

‘’Then do it, we’ll be needing some time to get to my house,’’ he grinned and pecked Louis’ lips once more before scooting away from him a bit, so Louis could have space.

Louis’ hands immediately found Harry’s zipper, pulling it down and aiming to pull his jeans down as far as they would go.

‘’Seriously Styles,’’ Louis said through gritted teeth as he tried to get Harry’s jeans down, ‘’do you pay people to help you get into those or what?’’

‘’Nah,’’ Harry smirked lazily, not intending to help Louis as it seemed, ‘’They do it for free.’’

Louis couldn’t help but let out a laugh, Harry joining him after a second. Louis really, really enjoyed this, bantering with Harry seemed so _easy_ and _natural_ , and he totally forgot that this young curly haired boy with the loopy smile in front of him is, in fact, a _celebrity,_ and _holy shit_ Louis loved his life.

‘’Get these fucking jeans off so I can reach your dick,’’ Louis snapped in frustration and he couldn’t be bothered to think about if the driver heard them.

‘’Alright, Princess. No need to get your panties in a bunch,’’ Harry teased and lifted his bum off of the seat, pulling down his jeans with minimal struggle.

How did he _do that?_

‘’Fuck you,’’ Louis spat and ignored Harry’s laughter, instead leaning down so he was face to face with Harry’s massive bulge.

He kissed his dick through the material and had to take a deep, shuddery breath then, because, _fuck, Harry was fully hard already._

‘’Excited much, huh?’’ he asked and looked at Harry through his eyelashes, the other lad just shrugged.

‘’You’re quite a sight for sore eyes, y’know. I _am_ excited.’’

And okay. He deserved a big fucking kiss for that because that was really just. Super cute.

Louis sat upright again and lunged forward and planted his lips on Harry’s, kissing him hard and sloppy, before leaning down again.

He didn’t know how much time they had left, but Harry didn’t seem to be concerned, so he decided to be chilled, too. He kissed along Harry’s covered dick, sucking on the tip when he found it, and enjoying the delicious shaky breaths Harry was letting out.

When he finally had enough of the teasing, he decided to give in and grant Harry his pleasure. Louis pulled down his boxers and let Harry’s cock spring free, taking it in his hand and jerking him off slowly.

‘’Are you planning on being a tease?’’ he heard Harry’s raspy voice from above him and he looked up with a smile, shrugging.

‘’Maybe. Depends on how much you beg me to suck down your gorgeous prick.’’

He considered Harry’s sharp intake of breath as a win, more than anything.

Louis ran his tongue along the shaft softly, tracing the thick veins and kissing the tip when he got there. The pre come tasted salty and he loved it, lapping at Harry’s tip before sucking on it hard, making Harry whine and grip Louis’ hair tight. As soon as he let go a bit, Louis unexpectedly swallowed him down completely, relaxing his throat so he wouldn’t gag.

‘’Fucking _shit, Lou,_ ’’ Harry almost yelled out, clutching the carseat with one hand and gripping Louis’ hair with the other.

Louis pulled away again and smirked at Harry, his lips shiny with spit and pre come. ‘’Want you to fuck my mouth,’’ he requested in a raspy voice, and Harry almost came then and there. But, what Louis wants, Louis gets, so he just nodded.

‘’Okay, yeah. Pinch my thigh if it gets too much, though, yeah?’’

Louis only nodded quickly before going down again, kissing and licking along Harry’s cock again and taking him down, bobbing his head up and down a bit. He took a deep breath through his nose a last time and swallowed Harry down yet again, this time Harry’s hand was pushing his head down slowly and holding him there.

Louis felt his throat burn and his eyes fill up with tears, but he loved it. He knew Harry enjoyed it and that was the most important thing for him, pleasuring other people and making them happy. That’s what made him happy.

‘’Yeah baby, God… Such a good cocksucker, uh,’’ Harry moaned as he held Louis’ head down, but immediately let go as Louis couldn’t take it anymore and started choking. He came up with his lips swollen and Harry just wanted to ruin him, then and there, no matter who’d see or hear. But he couldn’t, unfortunately.

‘’Love your cock, it’s so big,’’ Louis smirked and sucked the tip into his mouth again, pulling off and jerking Harry lazily. ‘’Wanna taste your come, baby, c’mon… Give it to me.’’

Louis’ dirty talk was the worst to Harry, if he kept talking that way Harry would come sooner than he had planned.

He took his cock into his hand and stroked it twice, gripping the hair at the back of Louis’ head and gently pulling him closer. ‘’C’mon baby, open up,’’ he instructed and Louis did as he was told, _of course he did_ , letting Harry feed him his cock as he started swirling his tongue around it as best as he could.

He started humming as he went deeper and deeper, bobbing his head a bit as Harry’s hand scraped at his head. ‘’Yeah baby, gonna come soon,’’ Harry panted out and Louis reached up to play with Harry’s balls.

That was it for the younger boy, he moaned out a curse loudly and spilled into Louis’ mouth, breathing hard and whimpering as Louis cheekily swallowed his load without a problem.

‘’Was fun, yeah?’’ Louis smirked as he sat down next to Harry again and the curly haired lad looked at him amazed, still trying to get his breathing under control.

‘’You truly are something else, Lou,’’ he panted and kissed the older lad chastely, ‘’I like it a lot.’’

Louis only smiled and kissed Harry again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hugsziall.tumblr.com
> 
> Talk to me, lovelies :) Xxx.
> 
> (oh, and sorry for mistakes, I don't proofread and English isn't my first lanuage so I struggle sometimes, oopsies)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiii I'm so sorry for the late update guys, I had major writers block!  
> Alright, so here's some Zouis lovin' and stuff, I really hope you like it! Kudos and Comments are appreciated, and thanks for reading! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr, loubrator.tumblr.com  
> :) Xxx.

“So tell me,” Harry said as he lit the joint and inhaled once, “why were you in New York anyways?”

They were lying on the bed after 3 rounds of hot, steamy sex, drinking from a bottle of wine and smoking a joint, and. Talking. Only talking, comfortably getting to know each other. And don’t forget kissing, when they ran out of topics to talk about.

“My best friend Zayn’s selling stuff, right, and he got into some trouble with a few people here in England because of money or some shit, I don’t even know. Anyway, he had to get out of town for a bit and his childhood friend Ant offered him, _us,_ actually, a place to stay, and. Well, why not go to fucking New York? So that’s how it was.”

Harry nodded along to everything that Louis said, taking another hit and passing the joint to Louis. “Trouble… Something… Very dangerous?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, Louis only chuckled.

“Nah,” he said nonchalantly, “he just would’ve gotten into a fight, and Zayn hates fighting if it’s not absolutely necessary, so he rather avoided it.”

“Oh, he’s a good guy then?”

Louis nodded and smiled, taking a few hits and blowing all the smoke in the air.

“’m starting to feel fuzzy,” he admitted while closing his eyes and tilting his head back on the pillows, enjoying the floating feeling that’s creeping up his skin. Yep, definitely there.

He heard Harry’s low chuckle and suddenly there was a heavy weight on top of him, steadying him, in a way. He felt lips on his throat and hair tickling his skin and he was so, _so_ content. When he opened his eyes Harry was hovering over him, a goofy smile on his face as he kissed Louis’ lips softly.

“You make me feel pretty high, to be honest,” Harry grinned and Louis burst out laughing, probably ruining the moment but he didn’t _care_ , couldn’t because Harry was just so _ridiculous_ and _cute_ and _ridiculously cute._

“Such a poet,” Louis teased when he calmed down, pulling Harry in by his hair and kissing him harder than before, immediately wanting to be let in with his tongue.

You know, kissing Harry was a lot like magic to Louis. He liked making out with blokes, sure, in cinemas, at a club, in a car, with Zayn on the couch sometimes, but Harry was the only one he could have a full blown makeout session with on his bed without feeling trapped and pushed and, well, uncomfortable, or expecting it to go further than really kissing. And that was a big and scary thing for Louis, because he had trust issues and he hated feeling caged and having a _boyfriend, ew,_ but with Harry all that seemed okay all of a sudden, and Louis was completely and utterly terrified of that. He knew he should get out as soon as he could, but the thing is, he _can’t,_ not anymore, at least. He got addicted to the way Harry holds his waist while they kiss, how soft his lips feel and how chaste his kisses are. Loves the feeling of Harry’s curls and the satisfying feeling of making him smile.  Can’t imagine not hearing that laugh or his moans or his silliness when he tells stories. Couldn’t be happy without feeling him completely, body on body, skin to skin, as they’re one.

And that is a really, _really_ bad thing because Harry is a rockstar and fucking famous and Louis’ is nothing but a way of passing time, a quick fuck and a nice chat, nothing more, nothing less. But the worst is, Louis is okay with not being more, because at least he’s _something_ to Harry. _Anything.  
_ His thoughts sound pathetic, even to himself.

When they pulled away, breathless and flushed, Harry gave him that cheeky smile and Louis couldn’t anymore, he had to get out of there.

“Uhm, listen, it’s quite late, so…”

Harry looked at him wide- eyed, a bit more than surprised. “You gotta go?”

Louis only nodded, not meeting Harry’s eyes. Harry tilted his chin up with a finger and whispered softly, “Stay for the night.”

And that was pretty much it, Louis stayed and they talked and fooled around until they were too tired to even kiss.

He would think about it all in the morning, he told himself, he really would.

X                                                       

 _How do I keep myself from falling in love_ is the first thing Louis googled the next day, and surprisingly, he found a few articles about that topic. He clicked the first one.

  1. _Don’t leave the house_



What a good start.

  1. _If you really have to leave the house, make sure you avoid people that you might get along with well._



Who was he kidding, he fell in love with Harry already. Time for another google search.

 _How to fall out of love,_ is the second thing he typed. Let’s see.

_The first and pretty much most important step is to delete and block the person from your contact list, make sure they won’t be able to call you anymore and don’t call them! Then, you should start distracting yourself by going out with your friends, meeting and/or dating new people maybe, or just having a quick one- night- stand. If you’re not that kind of person, just try busying yourself with friends and hobbies._

Well, the first thing was, Louis didn’t have many friends. Sure, a lot of people liked him because he was fun and loud and happy (mostly), but they weren’t people he’d like to spend his time with if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, and that was kind of it. He did have Zayn, but he was busy with work, and if he really thought about that, Louis was mostly busy with work too. They didn’t have a lot of money, could barely pay the bills and food for a week, so he had to work extra shifts. And if he wasn’t working, he was sleeping. And recently also going out with Harry, which didn’t help him distract himself from Harry, you see.

It was all a mess. A downright fuckery.

Louis groaned and slammed his laptop shut, just when Zayn came walking into the living room.

“Rough day?”

Louis shrugged, watching Zayn sit down next to him and pull him into his side.

“Zayn, am I in love?” he murmured against the fabric of Zayn’s sweater, loving how it smelt like Zany’s cologne, a bit of cigarettes, _home._

Zayn looked down at him, a little surprised, but ended up chuckling.  
“Why, d’you think you are?” he teased and started laughing when Louis moved away from him in a huff.

“Don’t make fun of me! I don’t know what I am, or what I think. I don’t want to be in love.”

“Lou, baby, I know I’m gorgeous and funny and smart, but you’ve been my best friend for so long, and I just don’t think-“

Louis cut him off with a pillow thrown at his face, making Zayn burst out laughing. “Stupid little twat, why am I telling you this, anyway?” Louis snapped and stood up, ready to walk away when he felt Zayn pull him back, flush against his chest.

“Do you need something? A distraction, maybe? Bit of fun?” Zayn murmured into his ear, kissing the lobe softly before gently biting into it.

Louis let out a shaky sigh and closed his eyes, nodding slowly. He could use that, actually.

Zayn moved down to kiss the spot where his neck meets his shoulder, sucking on it until Louis gave in and let out a soft moan, followed by a hiss when Zayn bit into his skin.

“C’mon baby, let’s go to my room,” Zayn said quietly and stood up, taking Louis’ hand in his and kissing it while they were making their way to his room.

Louis loved this about Zayn. He was always there for him, listening to what he had to say and giving advice when needed, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough. Sometimes Louis had to take it all out, the frustration, anger, sadness, all these emotions had to go somewhere, and that’s when Zayn was there. Don’t get him wrong, Zayn did this for his own pleasure too, and if it was something that could help Louis, then why the hell not?

They had started with this thing about 3 years ago when Zayn broke up with his boyfriend and got drunk with Louis that night. Drunk jokes turned into drunk cuddling, the cuddling into drunk snogs, and well, they had sex. And they decided that it felt good, and it wasn’t wrong, not like they had feelings for each other that way, so they didn’t stop.

Every time one of them had a relationship they’d stop of course, but go back to their routine if it didn’t work out. They shagged when they had emotions to let out, and they shagged when they were bored, nothing wrong with that.

When they got into the bedroom, Zayn pushed Louis onto the bed and hovered over him immediately, attacking his lips and kissing him feverishly. The smaller boy returned the kiss eagerly and opened his mouth to grant Zayn’s tongue access, trailing his hand over Zayn’s jaw into his hair, pulling lightly.

Zayn pulled away and took his shirt off while Louis did the same, kissing down Louis’ neck and sucking his right nipple into his mouth, twisting the other one with his fingers. “Fuck, Zayn… Missed this,” Louis breathed out, biting his lip and arching his back so his chest was closer to Zayn’s face.

“I know baby, haven’t fucked you in so long,” Zayn agreed and moved up, pecking Louis’ lips once, twice. He unbuttoned Louis’ pants and pulled them off of his legs, palming the prominent bulge while kissing and sucking on Louis’ neck.

“Mhh, baby, do something,” Louis panted as he let his hand travel down Zayn’s back, cupping his arse and pressing him closer. He heard Zayn growl as he tried to rut into him, before his hips were suddenly slammed into the mattress.

“No pleasing yourself, Lou, you know the rules. And now be a good boy and turn around let me see that ass,” Zayn demanded and who was Louis to say no, he turned around and let his firm round bum stick out. Zayn suppressed a loud moan as he smacked Louis’ covered bum before doing a quick job of pulling the material down his legs, exposing Louis fully.

“Love your ass, baby, love how gorgeous you are,” Zayn breathed out before kissing Louis’ ass cheeks, pulling them apart to expose his fluttering hole. Louis let out a shaky moan at the feeling of air over his most private part, biting into his arm to keep from screaming as Zayn kissed the pucker softly.

“Zayn, ah, are you gonna… _Ah… Baby,_ ” Louis moaned out loudly as he felt a few other kisses on his hole.

“No babe,” Zayn whispered, “Not gonna eat you out, wanna be inside you so badly.” He pulled out the lube from under a pillow and squeezed some of it onto his fingers, tracing his index finger along Louis’ crack.

“Please,” Louis moaned, muffled by his arm, “Can’t- please Zayn…”  
Zayn did as he wanted and pushed the first finger in, knuckle deep, and giving Louis a minute or two to adjust. When Louis let out a mewl, Zayn knew that it was okay to go on, so he pulled the finger out again and thrust in deep, enjoying how Louis’ hole fluttered and fought to keep the finger inside.

“Your greedy little hole doesn’t want to let go,” he chuckled to Louis, who only let out a breathless laugh. Zayn scooted closer to Louis and leaned over to give him a kiss on his shoulder, then his cheek. “Another one?”

Zayn knew that Louis wanted another one, he knew that he could take three at once, but he just enjoyed teasing the other boy and that’s exactly what he did. Louis desperate keens and nods convinced him to add another finger, thrusting them in and out to open Louis up. After a moment he added a third one, and that was the most Louis was getting that night, he didn’t need more prep.

Louis whined when Zayn pulled out his fingers after fucking him with them, earning him a hard smack on his ass. “Be good,” Zayn warned as he pulled off his joggingpants along with his underwear, slicking up his cock and pumping it a few times, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back.

“Uhm, Zee?” he heard Louis ask and he opened his eyes, moaning at the sight of Louis kneeling in front of him, face to face with his dick. “Can I suck you a little, please? Need your cock in my mouth baby, please, I’ll be good, I-‘’ he was interrupted by Zayn’s cock being slammed into his mouth, almost chocking the lad, but he liked it. Zayn knew he did.

Immediately Louis closed his eyes and began to suck, bobbing his head up and down while making little breathy noises, Zayn could feel the vibrations in his cock. Zayn drove his hands through Louis’ feathery hair, occasionally pulling on it and making the other boys’ breath hitch. After a few minutes of getting sucked off, Zayn grabbed Louis’ locks and pulled him off, his cock leaving his lips with a pop.

“Enough baby, don’t wanna come too soon,” Zayn explained and Louis just nodded, laying on his back and spreading his legs so Zany could go between them. He kissed Louis again, slowly and softly, their tongues mashing and noses brushing, before he pulled away and swiftly pushed into the boy.

Louis let out a loud moan at the feeling of being full, and gripped Zayn’s bicep as the black haired boy began to thrust into him, hard but slow. Louis let his head fall back and enjoyed just letting go, not thinking about anything but him and Zayn, how the other lad made him feel good.

Zayn attached his lips to Louis’ throat as he groaned, thrusting harder and faster, Louis’ legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer.

“So tight baby, fuck,” he cursed and Louis chuckled, teasingly clenching and unclenching his hole. They both enjoyed it, really, teasing was a part of everything, and as long as neither of them had to wait too long, it was nice.

“Zayn!” Louis yelled and Zayn immediately knew that he had hit his spot, pounding into it relentlessly, making Louis’ body jerk up the bed. He held the headboard to steady himself as Zayn sat a bit more upright and gripped his hips, pounding the older boys’ hole.

“Zayyyyyn,” Louis whined out with his eyes closed, “So good, so big, ‘m gonna come!” and Zayn didn’t slow down, took Lou’s hard cock into his hand and began jerking him fast, swiping his thumb over the head a few times.

“You gonna come, huh? Make a mess? C’mon baby, I’m waiting, come for me. Wanna taste it.”

Louis shrieked out and spurted all over himself and Zayn’s hand, his thighs shaking and body shuddering as Zayn still drove in and out of him, looking for his own release. Louis pulled him down to kiss at his neck, nibble on his sweet spot and whisper in his ear dirtily.

With a few more thrusts Zayn shot his load into Louis, holding himself above Louis with his arms on either side of his head as he pulled out, his dick wet with come and lube. Louis scooted down so he had Zayn practically sitting on his face, taking Zayn’s cock into his mouth and sucking softly, licking him clean.

Zayn shuddered above him, letting out a broken moan, and soon enough Louis was in front of him again, smirking and kissing his lips softly. Zayn chuckled at the taste of himself.

“Thanks Zee,” Louis whispered when they were laying in bed later, after showering and eating a sandwich to get some of the lost energy back.

“Course Lou, anytime. Forget about that boy for a while, you worry too much, yeah?”

Louis only nodded and drifted into sleep, wondering how in hell he was going to manage to forget someone as magnificent as Harry Styles.

X

Harry was angry.

Harry was really fucking angry.

He was out last night after Louis had left, getting drunk with a few mates in a bar in London, because _he didn’t have work tomorrow._

No concerts, no signings, no shoots, no interviews.

Surprise, surprise, guess who scheduled 3 hours in studio without letting him know? Yes, Liam.

And guess who was yelling at him to “Get his shit together and drink some fucking water to cure that bloody hangover”? You’re right again, it was Liam.

“Is it my fucking fault you absolute _morons_ forgot to tell me about a fucking _recording session,_ Liam? I seriously doubt that!” he yelled angrily, his nostrils flaring and stomach churning uncomfortably at the sight of the boy in front of him.

“Well, you didn’t have to go out, Harry, you do it every day anyways! Could’ve just taken a fucking break!” Liam yelled, and okay. Liam wasn’t one to yell, usually never got _that_ angry, but when he did. Oh boy, good luck with that, then.

Niall was just sitting on the couch, watching them with a bored expression. He was sick and tired of them constantly fighting lately, he just wanted them to shut up.

So he stood up and did his best to make them.

“I will count to three, and if you both aren’t seated on this couch then, _with your mouth shut,_ I will take my guitar and smash it into your heads!” he yelled, making the boys turn around and look at him, before he calmly started to count.

“One,” the boys didn’t move a muscle, just staring at him.

“Two,” they just looked at each other now.

“Thr-“ Niall was interrupted by both boys hurrying over to the couch, sitting down with their hands in their laps and not saying anything.

Niall smirked. “Wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Nothing. “Alright lads, you honestly have to stop fighting, this shit is tearing our band apart and we’re so close to reaching full on success, being _famous,_ for God’s sake!”

“Well, if Harry would-“

“Tell Liam here-“

“Stop it!” Niall yelled out again and both boys looked at him grumpily.  
“Our manager is gonna come back any second, and you two, pull it together, and we’ll talk about this later, alright?”

Harry and Liam didn’t answer, just looked at something somewhere else in the room, and Niall was honestly annoyed.

“I asked,” he repeated, “Alright?”

His bandmates both nodded and let out a halfarsed “Alright2, but better than nothing, Niall thought.

“Good, let’s rock this fucking studio!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't edited, as always!
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr: loubrator.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT SO I am sooooo sorry for not updating in such a long time, but I haven't had my laptop so I couldn't really write and yeah... BUT I tried my best with this chapter and I hope you like it, Kudos and Comments are appreciated!   
> Talk to me on tumblr at loubrator.tumblr.com :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and much love Xxx.

“Mate!” Niall laughed while letting himself fall onto the sofa next to Harry, “How about we go out tonight, huh? Just us three band boys, have some drinks, find some nice babes, or blokes? Whaddya say?”

Harry hated to say no to Niall, he really did, because the Irishman was always cheery and happy and disappointing him was just. No. _No._ But he already had plans, so…

“’m sorry Nialler, but I’m already meeting up with Louis tonight, haven’t seen him in quite a long time.”

Niall raised his eyebrows. “Louis, huh? So what, are you two dating, or…?”

Harry laughed at that, throwing his head back and hitting his thigh with his palm. “Me? Dating somebody? As in, a serious relationship? C’mon Nialler, thought you’d know me better than that!”

Harry was still chuckling a bit as he tied his shoes, and Niall just shrugged.

“Well, you’ve fucked him more than once as far as I know, just wanted to check. Why don’t you bring him along?”

Harry sat up straight and looked at Niall with a serious expression on his face, raising his eyebrows. “And have him walk through that sea of paps and fans? No fucking way, I’m not doing that to him. Besides, he’d be uncomfortable, he doesn’t know any of you guys.”

“Tell him to bring someone, his friends or whatever. Pleaseeee?” Niall got onto his knees in front of Harry, his eyes wide and bottom lip jutted out. He did know how to convince someone with his puppy- face.

Harry sighed and checked his phone, it was about 4 hours before his “date” (he refused to call it a full- on date, just, _no_ ) with Louis, so it was still appropriate time for a change of plans.

“Y’know what,” Harry started, “I’m gonna ask him. If he says no, I’m sorry, I won’t be cancelling my plans with him. Didn’t get laid in like, 10 days or summat,” he mumbled the last part and stood up, Niall jumping up and hugging Harry as tightly as he could, thanking him about a thousand times.

“It’s gonna be great, don’t worry about that Lewis dude,” Niall said as he was about to walk out.

“It’s _Louis_ ,” Harry corrected and chuckled as he heard Niall yell a “whatever”.

Well, time to call Louis.

X

“You want me to _what_? No way, Harry, I’m sorry but-“

“C’mon Lou, it’ll be fun! You can meet the guys, have a few drinks and then we’ll go back to mine, and… Y’know,” Harry chuckled, the smirk evident in his voice.

“Yeah I know, but what if we get papped again? I really don’t want to be on the cover of some stupid magazine. And besides, what if your friends don’t like me?” Louis asked. He didn’t know if he was crossing a line there, didn’t know if he was being too honest by expressing his concern of _what if your friends don’t like me what if they shittalk me what if you stop wanting to see me_ and just. Pathetic. Utterly pathetic.

He heard Harry chuckle again. “Babe, Niall will _love_ you, Niall loves _everybody,_ and Liam? Liam will be fine, who care about him anyways?”

“Woah there, who cares about him anyways? What happened, aren’t you supposed to love the guys to the moon and back?”

“Yeah, actually,” Harry sighed, Louis couldn’t see him but he could tell he was stressed even over the phone, “but Liam’s been a right tit lately. Whatever I do is wrong, whatever happens could damage our image, and if there’s bad news it’s always my fault. We aren’t some fucking boyband with 12 year olds as fans, we’re _rockstars_ for fuck’s sake. We _have_ to be wild.”

Louis got what he meant, Liam was never in magazines, never caught doing something crazy, always behaved quiet and reserved in interviews. He seemed like a downright bore, not that Louis would ever tell Harry, because talking shit about his friends does cross a line, a huge one at that.

“I know babe, I know. Maybe he’ll come around eventually, just wait a bit. And ignore his complaints maybe?” Question because Louis really didn’t want to be the reason for Harry and Liam’s fighting if it ever came down to that. He was giving Harry a suggestion, an option.

Harry sighed heavily again. “Yeah, I know, will do. So… What do you say? You wanna go out with the lads tonight?”

Louis thought about it. “Is it really okay if I bring Zayn?”

“Sure thing!”

“Alright,” Louis gave in, a small smile playing on his lips. “Pick us up at about 7, we’ll be ready!”

He laughed when Harry started cheering, thanking him and hanging up shortly after.

Now he just had to decide what to wear, he had to absolutely blow Harry’s mind that night.

X

Louis was standing in front of the he pile of clothes that was laying on the floor of his small bedroom. He had no idea what to do, honestly.

When he opened his closet, all the clothes fell out of it, almost making him fall over by the sudden weight on top of his body. And really, now he regretted ignoring Zayn’s commands of “clean your room, Lou, or else it’ll be too messy one day and you’ll have double the work!”

Why did he never listen to Zayn, Zayn was a smart guy. Much smarter than Louis anyway, even though Louis would never admit it.

There was only one thing left to do.

“Zaaaaaaaaayn,” Louis yelled at the top of his lungs, his voice getting a bit screechy. “Zayner! Zee! Bradford Bad Boy!”

Zayn came running into the room, almost slipping and falling be he got his balance back.

“What? What’s happening, you okay?” he asked panicked, looking around the room.

Louis just looked at him with a bored expression on his face, waiting for him to calm down his breathing.

“Nothing’s happening, would you calm the fuck down, Jesus Christ,” Louis snapped before gesturing to the clothes on the floor, “Help me, I have no idea what to wear!”

Zayn rolled his eyes so hard he thought they’d get stuck at the back of his head, groaning loudly. “You fucking diva, I thought something seriously bad is happening. Jesus.”

“Yeah well, it’s not, so would you please help me.”

“You never know what to wear, for fuck’s sake, Lou,”  Zayn scoffed as he bent down to sort through the clothes a bit, looking at each item and looking for something remotely matching. Louis did have a massive collection of clothing, most of it was rubbish though, either ripped or so ugly that he wouldn’t wear it anymore.

And they just didn’t have enough money to go shopping for stuff properly, unfortunately.

“This,” Zayn said after a few minutes, holding up a wine red shirt and black skinny jeans, “This is showing off how slutty yet classy you are, I’m a fucking genius.”

Louis just rolled his eyes playfully and snatched the outfit out of Zayn’s hands, scoffing. “Thanks.”

When he finally got dressed and considered his hair to be acceptable, he shouted for Zayn to meet him in the hallway when he was done. When Zayn stepped out of the flat and Louis got a good look at him, he whistled lowly.

“Wow, Zayner,” he commented while circling a chuckling Zayn, “You’re a hot piece of ass tonight, who you doing it for?”

It was true though, he was wearing black skinny jeans, a tanktop that showed off his chest tattoo and a leather jacket, his hair perfectly styled as always. Louis would lie if he’d say that he wasn’t a tiny bit turned on by that.

“Not for you, that’s for sure, you’re getting laid tonight anyway,” Zayn laughed and showed Louis in the direction of the elevator, both boys laughing on their way there.

As they stepped out of the building, they saw a Range Rover parked in front of their house, Louis recognizing it as Harry’s. Zayn and Louis walked over to it, and the door to the passenger seat was opened, Harry gesturing for Louis to sit there while Zayn went over to sit behind them.

“Hiya lads, what’s up?” Harry asked as he resumed his driving, and Zayn just smiled at him.

“Long time no see, huh?” he said and he and Harry chuckled while Louis blushed like crazy.

Zayn had met Harry once, when he was at their place, and well, they didn’t meet under the best circumstances.

Louis bent over the couch and Harry behind him, both panting and breathless, when suddenly Zayn walked in on them.

It was a bit awkward for Louis, Harry and Zayn just shook hands and when Zee left, Harry continued fucking Louis, simple as that.

“True that,” Harry replied with a smirk on his face, putting his hand on Louis’ thigh, making the other boy blush even more. “So, the other boys are waiting at the club, they already got a booth and stuff so we wouldn’t have to look around too long,” Harry informed them and Zayn nodded.

“Nice.”

When they arrived at the club Harry parked his car near the back entrance, making sure the 2 bodyguards were there to walk with them before getting out of the vehicle. Luckily there weren’t any paps to take pictures as they entered the club, but some people too out their phones when they saw and recognized Harry, snapping a few pics that had with no doubt bad quality.

“That was smoother than last time,” Louis commented and Harry just chuckled, nodding at him.

 

“There’s the man of the day!” Louis heard somebody yell as they entered a booth, and yep, that was Niall Horan standing in front of him. “The name’s Niall, nice to meet ya!”

Louis didn’t expect Niall to lunge forward and engulf him in a hug, but he played along and hugged back while laughing into the blond’s shoulder.

“Nice to meet you too!” he replied and shook Liam’s hand next.

“Liam Payne, good to see you here.”

“Louis, yeah, good to be here,” Louis smiled and tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach when he noticed the hard look in Liam’s eyes. He brushed it off and sat between Harry and Zayn, Niall sitting between Zayn and Liam.

“So, what do we order?” Zayn asked while looking around the club, the music loud and the people dancing, Louis knew how much Zayn loved going out.

“I’d say shots first, and then some cocktails or whatever?” Louis asked and everyone agreed, Niall patting him on the shoulder and yelling a “good lad” over the music, making Louis smile.

They ordered and downed their shots, talking and just messing about, when suddenly Niall decided he wanted to dance. The whole group agreed of course and soon all five boys were on the dancefloor, making stupid moves and laughing their arses off.

Niall grabbed Louis’ hands and began to spin him around, Louis trying to look graceful but failing miserably. Zayn barked out a loud laugh from where he was dancing and chatting with Liam as Louis tripped and almost fell, Harry caught him of course.

“Easy there, tiger,” Harry spoke into Louis’ ear huskily, and the smaller boy got shivers from Harry’s deep voice.

“Thanks,” Louis murmured out when he noticed how close he and Harry actually were, and prayed to God nobody would take pictures of them.

“May I have this dance?” Harry smirked and held his hand out to Louis, who gladly followed Harry to a spot a bit farther away from the rest of the boys.

Harry swiftly turned Louis around and pulled him to his body, back to chest. They started dancing slowly, and when they got the hang of the beat, they started full on grinding in the middle of the dancefloor. Harry’s hands found Louis’ hips and he gripped them hard, tugging his shirt up slightly to feel his hot skin.

“You look so unbelievably good tonight,” Harry breathed into Louis’ ear, making goosebumps erupt on his skin, he couldn’t help but get turned on by Harry’s voice only.

 Louis decided to take a little bit control, so he reached behind and gripped Harry’s hair, pulling him down for a rough kiss. Louis opened his mouth so Harry could lick into his mouth just how he liked it, the boys didn’t stop their grinding and touching.

“Want you so bad, baby,” Louis whispered against Harry’s lips, then turned around and started kissing his neck slowly. “Take me home and fuck me good, yeah? I want you to,” he leaned closer to Harry’s ear and whispered huskily, “rock me.”

Harry let out a small growl and grabbed Louis’ hand, leading him to the club’s toilets. He opened the door and pulled Lou inside, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Listen,” he started when they were in, “You and I both know you deserve more than a bit of fumbling in the bathroom, but fuck if I can wait till we get back home. So you’ll be a good boy and get down on your knees for me right now, right?”

Louis nodded wordlessly, sinking to his knees and opening Harry’s belt, starring at him with lust dark eyes.

He undid Harry’s belt and immediately started nosing along the waistband of his boxers, kissing his hard on through the material. Harry’s breathing became heavier by the second, and Louis smiled smugly at that affect he had on the rockstar. He found the tip of Harry’s cock and started sucking on it, teasingly leaving the boxers on.

“Yeah, that’s it baby,” Harry whispered hoarsely above him, “take your time princess.”

And fuck if Louis didn’t like being called a princess. He moaned quietly as he pulled Harry’s trousers and boxers all the way down, letting his rock hard cock spring free.

“So big,” Louis whispered, eying it, “so good, love it, Harry.” Suddenly he lunged forward and took Harry’s cock in his mouth, catching the younger boy off guard and making him let out an animalistic growl.

Louis sucked as hard as he could, wrapping his hands around the part he couldn’t fit in his mouth right away and stroked there. He pulled off of Harry’s dick, sucking on the tip while looking at Harry innocently. Harry gripped the door handle of the bathroom to have at least something to somewhat steady him since his knees felt like jelly.

“Fucking hell, Lou,” he moaned as Louis took him further and further in, his nose soon touching Harry’s pubes and making the smaller lad choke a bit. He pulled off again, breathing heavily, saliva and precome dripping down his chin.

“So filthy,” Harry commented, “So wonderfully fucking filthy.” Louis smiled before getting his mouth on his cock again.

Louis bobbed his head and hollowed his cheeks while holding Harry’s cock up with one hand, with the other hand was palming himself through his trousers.

“You hard, baby boy?” Harry asked breathlessly when he noticed what Louis was doing, “Finish me off and we’ll go home, you’re gonna get it there, okay? Sounds good?”

Louis looked up at him with spit shiny lips, stroking Harry’s dick and nodding, before sucking him into his mouth again. Harry gasped loudly and gripped Louis’ hair, pulling him closer to his abdomen. With the best of his ability Louis tried to deepthroat Harry’s huge dick again, bracing himself on his thighs and sinking down slowly, closing his eyes as he felt his throat construct.

“Like that baby, you’re doing such a good job,” Harry praised and almost let out a scream as Louis choked around his cock, feeling the tight heat of his throat.   
Louis pulled off, his breath labored, and started jerking Harry while licking his balls, smiling up at the other lad innocently.

“Taste amazing,” he cheekily commented and Harry let out a chuckle that got interrupted as Louis started to suck at the sensitive skin. “I’m gonna make you come here and then we’re gonna go home, okay? I can’t wait anymore, baby,” Louis whined before he kissed along Harry’s shaft, making the other boy let out a shuddery breath.

“Yeah,” came the response and Harry felt himself close to orgasm, with Louis pumping his cock just right. Louis took him in for a last time and bobbed his head while licking around the head quickly, and Harry let out a small cry and nearly bent as he came in Louis’ mouth, not even asking if that was alright.

He shuddered as Louis pulled away with a pop and a kiss to the tip, and as the smaller boy stood up, Harry grabbed him by the hair and pulled him in for a bruising kiss.

“The things you do to me,” he breathed against his lips, “Fuck, can’t wait to see you tremble underneath me.” Louis whimpered at that and when Harry pulled his pants up, both boys made their way back to their booth.

 

“Do not tell me you fucked in the bathroom,” came Liam’s comment when they got back, all three boys staring at them. Louis blushed a little, he met Harry’s friends that evening for the first time after all and it was a bit embarrassing, but Harry just shrugged nonchalantly, smirking.

“What can I say? This little one here couldn’t wait till we get home, and what kind of man would I be to deny my baby boy, huh?” Louis blushed even more and hit Harry’s chest as hard as he could, ignoring the dirty smirks he received from Niall and Zayn.

Liam just let out a long sigh. “I’m assuming you’re going now?” Harry nodded with a  hard look on his face. “Alright. Get papped and I’m gonna beat you up, you hear me? See ya later, mate and it was nice meeting you, Louis.”

“Likewise,” Louis replied before saying bye to everyone else and making his way out with Harry, never letting go of his hand. He noticed how tense Harry was and stopped just outside of the club at the back entrance, grabbing his bicep.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah,” Harry sighed, closing his eye for a second, “Liam’s just pissing me off a bit, but it’s alright. Let’s see if the drive’s here so we can go home, yeah? I’ve got plans,” he winked and just like that Louis let it go, it wasn’t really his place to be nosy anyway.

And judging by Harry’s behavior, he knew he was in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loubrator.tumblr.com :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY GUYS I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN AGES also this is a sorry excuse for a chapter but it's pretty late and I wanted to get this over and done with, so yeah... But I promise you, I'm gonna post a new chapter next weekendand it's gonna be GOOD so please keep reading and don't hate me because I love you with all my heart. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated, you can also come and talk to me on my tumblr (loubrator.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thanks for reading, love you Xxx.

“Fuck, that was good. That was really fucking good,” Louis sighed with his head on Harry’s chest, tracing patterns randomly.

“Yeah, I needed that,” Harry agreed while playing with Louis’ hair, leaning down a bit to kiss Louis’ head.

“So,” Louis started, “You think your friends like me?” He didn’t want to seem vulnerable, he really didn’t, but he just needed to know. He needed to know if he was good enough for Harry’s group of friends, and even though he didn’t know what to expect from Liam, he hoped he could get along with all of them at least a little. He didn’t want to lose Harry, didn’t want to lose the thrill of being with a celebrity, the good feeling of getting fucked into the mattress whenever you need it, of having a constant; in any way, shape or form.   
They weren’t serious, but Louis gave a shit.

“Are you kidding? Niall _loved_ you, absolutely did. And Liam… Well, he was pissy altogether, I’m sure he thinks you’re a fine lad. He’ll come around eventually, babe.”

Louis fucking hoped so, because if Liam messed up his chances, he’d have to beat the shit out of that puppy face. Well. Who was he kidding, Liam was a fucking beast, but. Y’know. He’d at least try to.

“I’m glad,” Louis replied sincerely, and that was that, they both shut up and drifted off to sleep eventually.

X

Louis woke up to the sunlight streaming into the room and a cold spot in the bed next to him. He looked around and panicked for a moment, before he remembered that he was in Harry’s mansion, calm settling in his guts.   
Stretching and yawning unattractively, he was really glad Harry wasn’t there to see him, he made his way to the kitchen downstairs to be met with the strong smell of bacon. His small hangover didn’t allow his stomach not to churn uncomfortably.

“Morning, sunshine,” he was greeted by Harry’s loud voice, and hell, how could he be so cheery at a time like that? Louis glanced at the clock. Oh. _Oh._ It was long past noon.

“Why’d you let me sleep so long?” he grumbled and walked over to Harry, hugging him from behind and kissing his shoulder. He felt more than heard Harry’s chuckle, the soft rumbling making its way through his whole body, making his chest vibrate. God, Louis couldn’t get enough of that boy.

“Looked to pretty to be woken,” Harry smiled, “besides, I wanted to make you a huge breakfast since I’m positive you’re hungover, right?”

“Mmmm, jus’ a lil bit,” Louis mumbled against Harry’s shoulder blades, kissing the bare skin there. When the younger boy was done with making eggs on toast, they both ate in silence, cuddled up on the couch with the TV turned on, low volume.

Louis really enjoyed it, the comfortable silence and the ease between them, smiling and kissing every now and then, and he didn’t want to think about it because it was scary, scary to admit that he might be developing big feelings and even bigger fears because. Well. Because Harry was a rockstar, for starters, famous and adored and desired, and Louis was just Louis.   
Broke, talentless, not even all too pretty.   
But Harry still wanted him, ‘s the thing, he still met up with him and slept with him and spent time with him, and it was all too big for Louis’ head, let alone his heart.

So he did the only logical thing he could think of in that moment.

He got on his knees.

“Woah there, baby,” Harry laughed surprised as Louis suddenly pushed between his legs to undo his fly. He was determined to get Harry to fuck him senseless, so he wouldn’t think about all that heavy stuff for a while, so he could just _forget_ and _feel._  

As soon as he got Harry’s cock out he took him into his mouth, bobbing his head to get him hard. Harry moaned above him, but for some reason he wouldn’t fully relax, and after Louis doing what he was doing for a few moments, Harry pulled him away from his cock by his hair.

“Babe,” he spoke and looked at Louis’ surprised expression, why did he make him stop? “I’m sorry, but you caught me off guard there. You alright?”

Louis nodded eagerly, of course he was alright. “Yeah, I jus’ wanna- wanna suck you, Harry.” He could feel himself get desperate for it, could feel the need to be good for Harry creep up his skin and settle onto every pore, making him dizzy with want. The younger boy just raised his eyebrows but didn’t attempt to stop Louis again, so the smaller lad got to it right away. Slurping and choking, licking and sucking, that’s all he was doing and soon enough, Harry’s hand was gripping his hair tightly while he tried not to thrust into Louis’ mouth.

“Baby, gonna come soon. Fuck,” Harry panted and Louis just nodded, pulling away and jerking Harry’s prick in his hand.

“C’mon, Hazza baby. Come on my face, come for me.” With a broken moan and a loud shout Harry spurted all over Louis’ face, painting it a beautiful white.

“Holy shit,” Harry panted as Louis stood up and went over to the shelf, taking a napkin and cleaning his face off as best as he could. Dried come on your skin is the least thing you want, honestly. “Where did that come from? We just shagged in the morning.”

Louis shrugged, acting nonchalant. “I was up for it, you know that I like blowing you.” He smiled and straddled Harry, wrapping his arms around the boy and kissing him chastely. Harry smiled into the kiss, Louis wished the butterflies in his stomach away.

“Mhm, sure you do,” Harry smiled and kissed Louis again, “Anyway, I gotta head to Cheshire today, I’m visiting my mum and sister. I’ll probably be staying a day or two, so yeah… I’ll be texting you though.”

Louis smiled tightly, he was okay with it. Of course he was. Family visits, being gone for a day or two, no problem for him. Just, he _knows_ Harry won’t have much time to text or call Louis, and he’s gonna _miss_ the younger lad extremely.

Talk about pathetic and falling in love fast, really.

“That’s cool, hope you have a good time, yeah?” he smiled and kissed Harry one last time before standing up. “I better get going, but we’ll text soon, yeah?”

“Want me to drive you home?” Harry asked politely, and no, Louis definitely did not want him to drive him home. He needed a bit space, needed fresh and Harry- free air at that moment.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just take the train, don’t bother.”

“Seriously Lou, you’re not a bother, I can just-“

“I said it’s fine!” Louis interrupted snappishly, and okay. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that.

Harry nodded awkwardly and got up, leading Louis to the front door. “I’ll text you as soon as I get there, don’t ya worry, eager little puppy,” Harry teased with a smirk.

Louis’ face visibly paled. Was he really that eager? Was it that noticeable? Jesus Christ, what was Harry thinking of him?

Harry must’ve noticed Louis sudden strange expression. “Louis, you okay babe? It was just a joke, you know that, right?”

Louis exhaled shakily, plastering a fake smile on his face. “Sure,” he said confidently, “just don’t wanna seem annoying, ‘s all.”

“You? Never!”

And with that they said goodbye and Louis headed out, walking towards the train station.

He needed to get this shit sorted out as soon as he possibly could.

X

“Harry baby, it’s so good to see you again!” Anne said as she walked over to her sun and engulfed him in a tight hug. Harry squeezed back tightly, he hasn’t seen his family in ages.

“Good to be here again, mum. Hey Gems,” he hugged his sister and then his stepdad, before walking into the living room and taking a seat with them. They talked about typical stuff, the career, jobs, life in London and Cheshire, all while drinking tea. Harry loved his tea, sue him.

Until Gemma asked a special question.

“So, H. Let me ask you a question, would ya?” she said with raised eyebrows, leaning against the sofa cushion, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Go for it, c’mon,” he smirked, setting his cup down.

“I was watching television last week, and guess who came on? Yes, you,” she dramatically started, Harry only rolled his eyes fondly, “and guess what you were doing? Holding a guy’s hand.” The smile vanished from Harry’s lips.

His family and friends knew he was gay, he came out even before he got famous. The whole world knows it, and he isn’t ashamed at all, isn’t ashamed of who he is. They all also knew that Harry did enjoy casual hook ups and one night stand’s here and there, of course they did, it was all over the tabloids and the TV.

But he didn’t really understand what his sister was trying to say, why she was calling him out on that all of a sudden.

“Also, apparently, that wasn’t the first time you were seen together. Are you hiding a boyfriend there, Mister?” she finished and looked smug, Robin and Anne were listening intently too. All eyes on him. He smiled uneasily and took a deep breath.

“No, Gosh, uhm. Louis isn’t my boyfriend, he really isn’t. He’s just…,” he struggled to explain. What was Louis to him? Not a casual hook up, that was for sure. A friend with benefits? That didn’t seem right with Harry. He had no idea. He settled with, “Good company. That’s all he really is.” He smiled, pleased with himself, because he didn’t give too much away, yet he did kinda explain it all. Kind of.

Anne just raised her eyebrows and Robin laughed to break the silence that settled after Harry’s reply, patting him on the back. “You do you, H. You do you.”

Harry really loved his stepfather.

That night he went to bed with an uneasy feeling in his gut.

Gemma’s question really threw him off a bit. He started to think about Louis, and really, they never really talked about what they were. Harry never felt the need to, is the thing, it was all so easy and lovely and fun with Louis, he just wanted the boy around all the time, and now that he thought about it, he realized it wasn’t just for sex. No, he wanted the older lad around to laugh with, make up jokes with just to get clapped on the head when his is especially terrible, to cuddle and just _be._

But what did that even _mean?_

Was that love?

Harry had no clue, he didn’t do love, never has done, never had been in love and doubted that he ever would be, truly, madly, and deeply.   
Doubted it all until now.

He knew it was stupid, he has only known Louis for a total of 4 months, but it had all been so good. It was good, everything about their time together. Louis probably didn’t even feel the same way as him, Harry told himself, shook his head as if he could get rid of his thoughts that way and turned off the light, getting ready to snuggle up and sleep.

He didn’t sleep the whole night.

He wanted Louis.   
  


 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY I UPDATED EARLY THIS TIME I'm actually very proud of myself. (I hope u are too.)  
> Anyway, since school has started and it's already a wee bit stressful, I don't know how often I'll update. I'll try to do it as frequent as possible, please forgive me if I don't succeed.   
> I really hope you like this chapter, bc it's gonna get a bit feeeeeely and chaooootic and ya, I'm trying my best to make it interesting for y'all.  
> Kudos, Comments and crticism is appreciated, also, if you wanna be my friend, come talk to me on my tumblr (loubrator.tumblr.com)!!
> 
> Love you all :) Xxx.

He didn’t know what to do.

When his family left for the market, but left him breakfast, he sat down with the table full of delicious homemade food, and he knew he had time to think about… Everything, really. Harry thought about the past months of his life, reflected his choices, something he rarely did because, let’s be honest, he didn’t give a shit.

He did what he wanted to do and whoever didn’t like it could gladly fuck off, was his thing. But now, he _had_ to think back and see if he regretted anything, the choices and antics of the past months.

The thing was, he didn’t do love. Not at all. He was cringing at the thought alone, him settling down and acting lovey dovey with another person, just. No.   
All until _he_ came along, of course.

That little ball of energy, the ray of sunshine, that adorable menace that Harry was so fond of, that absolutely wouldn’t leave his life. And he didn’t want him to, is the thing. He couldn’t stand the thought of not having Lou in his life at all, and suddenly he found a thing he regretted.

Not giving love a chance sooner.

Maybe he’d have known what he felt now, not be confused, if he would’ve had that feeling before. But he never did, because Harry was always a flirt, the hopeless charmer, and romantic in his songs, dirty in the sheets.

Never about love, though.

He was all about the fainting girls and the glint in their eyes as he introduced himself, “Harry Styles is my name, nice to meet you, love,”- he could see their excitement and knew exactly, they were an easy lay.

He loved how some boys envied him when he winked at their girlfriends, and Harry knew, they wanted him _all._

Now, though. Now, when he was looking back, he didn’t really desire that anymore, didn’t need that anymore, didn’t feel the satisfaction in him when he was being a little shit, a mischievous brat, someone who was wanted by many, yet only gotten by some.

Now he wanted to curl up in bed after a show and feel those strong arms on his back, that tiny frame over his body, and that _love_ and _need_ in his veins.

But who was he kidding, the other lad didn’t feel the same.

For sure not.

X

“What do you mean, you gave her my number?” Harry asked his mum flabbergasted, because honestly, what the _fuck?_

“Oh c’mon, H,” she tutted while sorting all the new bought food in the fridge and on the shelves, “she’s a nice girl, and she said she’d want to catch up.”

“Mum, she’s my _ex girlfriend_!”

“You dated, what, 6 years ago? Just go and meet her, for old time’s sake!” Anne reasoned, and okay, Harry could do that.

As the family had a nice little evening in front of the telly, Harry’s phone buzzed. He checked to see who it was, and sure enough there was an unknown number texting him. That’s when he suddenly remembered that he didn’t talk to Louis at all since he arrived.

He wanted to text him, but he decided against it, not to bother the older boy.

He opened the newly received text and swallowing down the groan that almost left his mouth. His ex girlfriend was texting him. Harry used to date her when he was 15, and Chelsea was a really nice girl, honestly, but he seriously wasn’t in the mood to get in touch with her again.

_Hi Haz, it’s Chelsea. Your mum gave me ya number hope it’s okay! Xx_

He texted back reluctantly, not to seem rude, his mum did raise him very well, after all!

_Yeah, no problem! Hey :)_

“That your boy?” Gemma whispered from where she was sat next to him, and Harry only rolled his eyes.

“He isn’t my boy, and no, that’s not Louis texting. It’s Chelsea.” Gemma only nodded, not interested if it wasn’t about Louis. Harry felt his phone buzz and the girl texted him again, asking him out for breakfast in town the next day, and Harry gave in. It’s not like it was a date, and he didn’t have anything to lose, he was just being polite.

After a bit more of texting back and forth Harry excused himself and said he’d go to bed, kissing his mum’s head and telling Chels a good night.  
When he flopped onto the bed exhaustedly, he couldn’t shake the feeling like he’d forgotten something.

Harry shrugged, it hasn’t been all too important anyways, he told himself.

X

Louis had had a good morning, he really did.

He woke up in bed next to Zayn after he’d cried on his shoulder and smoked all his week the previous night, well _somebody had_ to help him get over the fact that Harry didn’t text him in like, 15 hours. _15! Hours!_

_Scandalous!_

He ate a nice little breakfast consisting of leftover pizza and took the most relaxing shower in a while. It was all good, _splendid,_ even, all until he turned on the TV to watch mindless sitcoms.

Whom did he find on there? Yes, of course, Harry.

But it wasn’t Harry alone, nope. A petite blond girl was with him, clutching his hand, and it seemed like they were walking out of a restaurant? A diner? Louis wasn’t too sure. He also wasn’t too sure of what he felt in that moment. Anger? Sadness? Disappointment?

He didn’t feel anything if he was being honest, he just felt empty as he watched the video a fan took of the couple, smiling and walking down the street towards Harry’s car, where the younger boy opened the door for the girl.

 _“Visiting his hometown, Harry Styles apparently didn’t only plan to spend his time with his family and friends,”_ the female voice on the telly said. _“ This morning he was seen with his ex girlfriend Chelsea Miller, whom he’d known even before fame and fortune came his way. Was it just a fling or a full blown date? Is Chelsea going to become someone we’ll see often on Harry’s side? It would surprise us, the teenstar is, after all, one of the biggest flirts in the music industry. Follow our twitter and we’ll keep you updated on the heartthrob’s love life!”_

Louis turned off the TV with a scoff. Keep them updated on his love life, he thought, what a joke. He and Harry were shagging for about 5 months now, and nobody made a big deal out of it, even though Louis had been seen on a few occasions. His face was always blurry on the pictures though, and he was thankful for that.

He plopped onto the couch defeatedly, no idea what to do. Harry didn’t text him, didn’t call him, and went on a date with his ex.

Perfect. Just. Perfect. What the hell was Louis’ life?

Right in that moment Zayn chose to walk into the room, hair tousled from sleep and only claid in his boxers, and as he saw Louis’ confused and broken look he immediately rushed to the older boy to wrap him in his arms.

“I’ve seen it on my telly, Lou,” the younger boy whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Louis just absolutely crumbled and started sobbing loudly, he couldn’t believe Harry ditched him like that. Wasn’t he worth a little more than that?

“Y’know, I just wish he would’ve told me instead of doing… Doing _this._ I get the memo, thank you very much,” Louis wheezed and Zayn just shushed him, he needed to calm down.

After a few more minutes of sobbing and feeling sorry for himself while being cuddled on the couch by Zayn, Louis stood up and took a deep breath.   
“I won’t be letting him fool me like this again, God,” he decided out loud. “I need to sleep and tomorrow, we’re going out, that clear?”

Zayn just nodded wordlessly, apparently deep in thought. “Y’know,” he began after a few moments, “I’ll beat him up for you if I have to. If you want me to, I’m gonna make him regret it. You know that, right? I’m always here.”

Louis smiled warmly before walking over to Zayn and pecking his lips softly. They both knew Zayn couldn’t stand a chance against Harry, but he would at least try as hard as he could, and that was a cute thought nevertheless.   
“Appreciate it, Zayner,” Louis smiled before kissing him again and walking over to his room.

He was idly wondering if what he was doing with Zayn was fair to Harry, but then he realized; he wasn’t ignoring the curly haired lad, he didn’t really tell him much about his and Zayn’s relationship, and he’s never doing anything in front of him. So.

Harry could freely go and get himself fucked, for all Louis cared.

X

When Harry woke up it was… Well, it was bad.

He woke up in an unknown bed, the side he wasn’t laying on empty, yet unmade, and his phone (just like his head, really) was buzzing loudly.

He propped himself up on his elbows and took a look around, and it suddenly downed on him. He was in Chelsea’s bedroom. What the actual _fuck?_  
Harry remembered going home after the breakfast with her, firstly. It hasn’t been as bad as he thought it would be, she was just really bad at hiding that she wanted him, but it was okay. Harry was used to it, as sick as it sounds.   
So after the meal she asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink that night, not backing down even after he’d explained he had to head home the next morning, and he gave in. The girl wasn’t too bad company, after all.   
And he remembered going to that club with her, getting those drinks and grinding on this girl, but the rest was just a blur to him.

His phone buzzed again and he grabbed it to see a text from Liam. A few texts, actually.

_Where the fuck are u_

_Harry we have soundcheck in 2 hours_

_ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE_

_Ur mum says u didn’t get home mate if ur dead then im sorry but if ur not ur gonna wish u were when u get back to London_

And the one he just sent,

_If ur not home in an hour we’re gonna have to cancel the show wow very well done mate fuck u_

Fuck. _Fuck._

Harry scrambled up and got dressed as soon as he could, thinking about how the hell he was supposed to get to London in an hour when it took about 3 hours to get from Cheshire to his place.

He was well and truly fucked, and not in the way he was used to.

Harry grabbed all his stuff and headed downstairs where he met Chelsea.  
“Hey, I’m sorry, I gotta go! Um… Did we have sex last night?”

She had an annoyed look on her face as she drove her hand through her black hair. “No we didn’t, you passed out as soon as we got here. Also, your car’s in the drive way.”

He nodded and with a last goodbye and a promise to call her, he ran to his car and got in as fast as possible. When he got into the vehicle, he quickly dialed Niall’s number before starting the engine, putting him on speaker (because driving and phoning is quite dangerous as it is, kids! You don’t need to be holding the phone!) and driving out of Chelsea’s neighborhood.

“Hey there, mate!” Niall answered the phone cheerily after a few rings.

“Listen,” Harry started, his voice stressed, “we need to delay the show. I’ll be in London in 2 hours minimum, we have to delay it!”

Niall didn’t respond for a few minutes, and voices and sounds could be heard in the background. “Listen mate, I dunno if we can do that, but here’s a very angry Liam who wants to talk to you, so…”

“No, Niall, don’t give Liam the pho-,” but it was too late, the rustling of the phone being handed over could be heard and suddenly a very loud voice screamed, “Where are you, you fucker???”

Harry didn’t want to deal with that, he was enough stressed and Liam was just pissing him off more. So, he hung up. Harry knew it was rude and his mum did raise him better than that, but it was a sneaky situation. He _had_ to hang up on Liam.

So he was driving as fast as he could without crossing any speed limit lines, and hoped he could be at the place they’d have to play at before it was far too late.

X

“I’m here, okay fuck, I’m here!” Harry panted as he reached the green room where the crew was sitting, they all looked at him with annoyed expressions on their faces, but nobody has beaten him up yet so he considered that a win.

“Good,” Paul said, “We had to delay the show for about 40 minutes, you’re gonna make up for it by playing a new song.”

“A new song? But- but,” Harry was confused. He did have a few new songs written and the lads knew how to play them, but they have never practiced it before and Harry was scared of fucking up.

“No buts, Harry. You owe it to them,” Liam grumbled as he pushed past Harry, rudely hitting his shoulder on the way. What the hell? Harry took a deep breath and nodded to himself, he could do that. It were his songs, he wrote them, and although he didn’t always quite agree with what they said, the fans would love them, no doubt. He could do that.

“I can do that,” he said out loud and Niall smiled at him, wrapping him up in a hug. “That’s the spirit! Also, we’re not too cross with you, you must know. Liam is, but that’s not unusual, is it, mate?”

Harry nodded. He guessed Niall was right, after all.  
They got dressed for the show and when they got onto the stage, Harry felt satisfaction and adrenaline seep into his veins.

This was _his. His_ stage. _His_ fans. _His element,_ and he’d rock it tonight with his two best mates. He loved his life so fucking much.

After apologizing for the delay, singing and dancing and just being his fucking self, he announced the two songs they were going to play.

“This is a new one I’ve written, and it’s called ‘Do I wanna know’. Reminds me of a special someone, if ya know what I mean,” he chuckled into the mic as the crowd started roaring and cheering, “You’ll see why.”

The bass was drumming, the guitar started to play, and soon enough it was Harry’s turn to start singing.

 _Have you got colour in your cheeks?_  
D’you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the tide that sticks around  
like summat in your teeth?

His voice smoothly boomed through the hall, and he felt goose bumps on his skin, this song was his fucking everything.

 _Are there some aces up your sleeve?_  
Have you no idea that you’re in deep?  
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week.  
How many secrets can you keep?

He hoped that Louis was listening somewhere, that he’d hear this song and like it.

_Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep._

Yes, he’d written that damn song for Louis, when he didn’t know what to do with himself after two months of hooking up with the older boy and suddenly _caring_ about him. And he was scared shitless.

_(Do I wanna know?)_

Liam and Niall’s voice came thorugh.

_If this feeling flows both ways._

Harry rasped.

_(Sad to see you go.)_

_Sorta hoping that you’d stay._

_(Baby we both know.)_

_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day._

_…_

_Too busy being yours to fall for somebody new._  
Now I thought it through.  
Crawling back to you.

When the song was finally finished the crowd was cheering and screaming their poor heart out, and Harry was buzzing. He was full of passion and adrenaline and magic and he wanted to do something bad, couldn’t stand still but ran over to the crowd and touched every hand he could reach, he wanted Louis.

When they got backstage again it suddenly downed on him.

Louis was probably mad at him.  
Of course he was, fuck, he hadn’t texted nor called and then he was out with that girl and, _shit,_ Harry had fucked up. Badly, even.  
He got into one of the bathrooms and took a quick shower, changed into his clothes and went to hug his boys goodbye.

“Great show,” Niall said as he squeezed Harry tightly.

“Liam, mate,” Harry called as he was about to get out but saw Liam standing near the exit, “I’m so sorry for being late today. I know it must’ve been stressful, and it’s not gonna happen again.”

Liam looked at him with a hard expression on his face before pulling him in, catching Harry off guard, and burying his face into his neck.  
“’m not mad,” Liam mumbled, “I was just worried because nobody knew where you were. Scared the shit out of me there, Haz.”

Harry chuckled lightly before letting go and going to his car with a smile, having a bit of a nice time with Liam was something he didn’t realize he missed.  
He got into his car and started speeding in the direction of a special somebody’s flat.

X

Louis was just about to finish getting ready for the club when he heard the doorbell ring. He was a little confused since Zayn had told their friends to meet Zayn and Louis at the club, and not at their flat. Shrugging, he stopped fumbling with his hair and headed towards the door, and when he opened it to see Harry standing there, he immediately closed it. It was a reflex, really.

But of course, Harry started knocking on the door and pleading.  
“C’mon Lou, please let me in. Let me explain. Please!”

Louis sighed and just stared at the door, he had no idea what to do. That’s when Zayn came into the hall, wondering about the noise. “It’s Harry,” Louis explained and saw Zayn’s eyes darken in anger, “he wants to apologize and explain. Should I let him?”

Zayn shrugged. “Do you want to?”

Louis sighed again. He didn’t know. The raven haired lad hugged him and pressed him against his chest, kissing his head. “Finish getting ready, I’ll talk to him.” Louis nodded thankfully and off he was.

Zayn walked over to the door Harry was still knocking on, and opened it swiftly. Harry’s face fell when he saw that it wasn’t Louis, and Zayn did feel a tiny bit sorry for him. “Hey mate, listen-,” Zayn started but the younger lad interrupted him.

“I know what you’re going to say, I do, and I’m so sorry for behaving like an arsehole these past days. But I really need to see Louis and apologize, please!” Zayn sighed, he couldn’t let Harry in without Louis wanting him to, and to be very honest, he was starting to get a bit angry.

“Alright, listen up here, kid. He’s my best friend and his life isn’t really great as it is, and he doesn’t need you to make it worse. I understand you two are having fun and shit, and he gets that you’re a rockstar and can do whatever and whoever you want to, doesn’t mean you can treat him like shit. With that being said, do this kind of shit once again and I’ll have to rearrange your pretty face, got it?”

Harry nodded dumbly, he did seem a little scared, and Zayn was satisfied.   
“Come in, now,” he calmly said and walked over to Louis’ room, knocking on the door. “Babe, go talk to the kid.”

Louis came out and he was nervous, though he knew he didn’t have to be. But alright, Zayn made sure it was going to be fine, so he went over to Harry.  
“You’ve got 5 minutes to explain yourself,” he said sternly and Harry nodded, relieved yet stressed.

“Uhm, well. Okay. So, I wanted to call you, but I’ve completely forgotten about it, I swear! I know it’s a shitty thing and I am so, so unbelievably sorry, but it’s the truth. And then I went out with that ex girlfriend because my mum made me go, and-“

“Your mother made you fuck that girl?” Louis said disbelievingly.

“No,” Harry almost shouted, “No, not at all. We didn’t, uhm, we didn’t fuck. I just crashed at her place because I was too drunk to get home, I- I didn’t even touch her. At all. And I know we’re not boyfriends, but I still thought we should’ve had talked about hooking up with other people, so I didn’t do anything. Promise.”

Louis was looking at him suspiciously, before sighing and deciding to let it go.   
Harry was right, he thought, they weren’t boyfriends, so he didn’t even have the right to complain about all of this. It wasn’t his fucking place.   
Swiftly, he stepped into Harry’s personal space and pulled him down for a kiss by his neck. The younger boy was a little bit surprised, Louis could tell, but after a moment or two he went with it, grabbing Louis’ waist and pulling him closer to his body.

Louis pulled away before it got too heated. “Heard your new song tonight,” he whispered against Harry’s lips, pecking them.

“Did you like it?”

Louis hummed and kissed him again, not holding back this time but slipping his tongue into Harry’s mouth, exploring and tasting.   
He jumped up a bit just in time for Harry to catch him and hold him up against the front door, kissing him passionately before moving down and sucking on his neck.

“Wait, babe,” Lou gasped out, “let me down and go into my bedroom, gotta talk to Zayn.”

“Zayn?” Harry asked surprised, letting go of Louis. The shorter lad just nodded and went off, leaving Harry to go to his bedroom. When Louis found Zayn in the bathroom, he strolled over and plastered himself to his side.

“Zaynie?” Louis asked with the best puppy look he could manage. The other boy hummed, not looking away from the mirror. “Are you gonna be very mad if I stay at home with Harry and you go out with our friends on your own?”

Zayn sighed and put the hair straightener down, looking at Louis. “Listen, I won’t be mad cause you stayed, but I don’t want you to be disappointed again. The last two days have been bad, Lou.”

Louis actually wanted to shush him so Harry wouldn’t hear, but he knew that’d piss Zayn off. A lot. “I know, Zayn. I know what you’re thinking, but I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.” That was a complete and utter lie, and both boys knew it. Louis couldn’t ever be on his own, couldn’t watch out for himself, especially when there’s pretty boys involved. He always ended up hurt in some way.

“Okay,” Zayn nodded, “I’ll be out in 5 minutes, wait till I’m gone to start with the butt action, and no fucking on the kitchen counter and sofa, yeah?” Louis nodded, smiling, and hugged Zayn as tight as he could without ruining his hair.

“You’re the best,” he smiled before practically running to his room where Harry was waiting for him. “Here I am,” Louis giggled and went over to stand between Harry’s legs where the curly haired boy was sitting on the bed.

“Took you long enough,” he rasped and immediately grabbed Louis’ bum, kneading it in his hands through his jeans. “These jeans look so good on you, baby.” Louis chuckled breathlessly before bending down and kissing Harry, their tongues massaging the other’s.

Harry let himself fall onto the bed so Louis was straddling his hips, starting to grind down slowly. Louis kissed Harry’s neck and ducked on it, smirking at the lovely noises he was making. Harry took off his shirt quickly and Louis tried very hard not to drool all over the sheets. “God, missed you so much,” he said as he trailed kisses along Harry’s upper body, “Missed your face, your body,” he licked along the waistband of Harry’s boxers, making the other boys’ breath hitch “missed your huge cock.” With that he grabbed him through his trousers and began to stroke as best as he could, making Harry’s cock harder than it was before.

“Don’t fucking tease, Louis.” Harry growled out and suddenly Louis found himself on his back, trapped by Harry’s body. “You were taking too long,” Harry smirked at Louis’ confused expression before his took the older lads’ shirt off, along with his jeans. When Louis was only in his boxers, Harry started to mouth at his cock through the material, making the boy whine.

“Haz, please, suck it. Please suck my cock,” Louis whined desperately, he needed Harry’s mouth on him.

Harry licked at the tip before taking Louis’ cock out, kissing along the shaft. “Gonna spoil my little baby boy,” he grinned, “Gonna show him how sorry I am, yeah? That okay?” Louis nodded his head quickly, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth while he grasped the sheets with both hands, and he was so beautiful to Harry.

He sucked Louis’ cock into his mouth and started bobbing his head, relaxing his throat as Louis started to buck his hips and fuck his mouth right away. Harry pulled off and moved down to Lou’s balls, sucking one into his mouth while jerking his prick with his hand. “Such a cute cock,” Harry said inbetween sucking noises and Louis’ moans, “love having it in my mouth, baby. Love making you feel good.”

“Haz, please,” Louis moaned, “my- my ass… Please, need you there.”  
Harry’s eyes darkened and his cock got even harder, if it was possible. He loved playing with Louis’ hole, loved how sensitive the boy was and how well he responded.

“Yeah?” he breathed, pulling away from Lou’s dick fully, “Want me to play with your little asshole? Want my cock in there, too?”

Louis threw his head back and whined, chanting “yes yes yes” over and over again, and Harry knew he was gone a little bit, and he knew he had to take special care of the lad. He kissed down his balls to his hole, darting his tongue out to lick a stripe across the quivering muscle. Harry didn’t have the patience to tease and go slow, so he grabbed the lube from the nightstand and slicked his fingers up, pushing into Louis while licking his cock and balls.

“Yeah baby, that’s it,” he whispered as Louis’ hole opened up to take two of his fingers, the other boys gone completely still, just letting out a few whimpers here and there. “Taking my fingers so good, gonna take my cock even better, yeah?”

Louis nodded slowly. “Yeah, Haz. Please, ‘m ready, need it.”  
Harry smiled and went up to kiss Louis a little, calming him down while his hands were still thrusting in and out of him.

“Don’t worry love, we’ll get to it in a second.” He pulled his fingers out and slicked up his cock before positioning it at Louis’ entrance, teasing his hole. When Louis began to buck his hips impatiently, Harry pushed in quickly, leaving the other boy with his mouth wide open in a silent scream.

Harry groaned as he gave him some time to adjust, and when Louis started kissing his neck and mumbling, “Go, go please,” he pulled out halfway before pushing in again as hard as he could.

That went on for a while, Louis scratching Harry’s neck and whimpering, screaming his name and chants of “God, yes, so big and good, fuck, fuck me, yes”, and Harry doing his best to please his little boy, thrusting and whispering dirtily and fucking and kissing. All in all, he enjoyed it.

“Yes baby, just like that. I can feel your little hole clenching,” Harry whispered as Louis nodded desperately, “Come for me baby, c’mon, I’m close too.”  
With a  few more thrusts and loud moans Louis came, untouched, to Harry’s surprise, and spilled all over his stomach. Harry grunted and postioned Louis’ legs so they were on his shoulder before fucking into him at a mad pace, making the sensitive man underneath him scream with pleasure and discomfort.

“Almost there baby, fuck,” Harry panted.

“Come for me Haz, come in me and let me feel it, please baby,” Louis whimpered and he had these glossy eyes and that fucked out face and Harry came with a shout, all his come getting deep into Louis. They both moaned when he pulled out his cock, and then he layed beside Louis.

The older boy immediately snuggled close to him, kissing his chest.  
“Do you want me to clean you up before we sleep, babe?” Harry asked and Louis just shook his head.

“Like the feeling of spunk in me,” he commented and Harry chocked on air, chuckling a bit.

“Jesus,” he shook his head before kissing Louis deeply one last time, and they drifted off.

Louis and Harry were both properly fucked, and they had no idea yet.

 

__  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loubrator.tumblr.com


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT IS HAS BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS I AM SO SORRY GUYS PLEASE DON'T HATE ME   
> Okay this is v short and a wee bit sucky bUT I will update on Sunday so 2 updates in one week yaaay  
> Kudos and Comments are appreciated, please give me feedback!   
> You can talk to me on my tumblr at loubrator.tumblr.com
> 
> Much love :) Xxx.

The thing was simple. So simple and obvious, you could feel it making its way into your thought process and it makes you want to laugh out loud when somebody doesn’t get it. That’s how simple and obvious it was.

But Louis was stubborn, he was passionate, and he was so, _so_ hopeful.

What they had couldn’t last to be something serious.

That was a fact.

If you googled _Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson_ there’d be an Wikipedia article with paragraphs full of _not possible not possible not possible notpossible._  
(Okay, maybe not, because one time Louis really googled their names and there were a few pictures of them attached to an online article full of wondering and suspicion, _are they dating or not?)_ But. You get the gist.

Still, he didn’t want it to be nothing, he didn’t want Harry to get rid of him after he got bored, and when Zayn once voiced his thoughts of “Why don’t ya just tell him Lou?”, Louis had laughed out loud, clutching his stomach and letting his tears fall, before choking on a sob and yelling “Like he would give a fucking damn!”.

And that was it, Zayn hadn’t brought it up since then and Louis was thankful he could cry without being questioned.

He knew Harry wasn’t a bad guy, he wouldn’t just ditch him like that, but Louis was sure talking to him about that issue would ruin everything, also, he didn’t want to seem weaker and more pathetic than he already thought he did.   
So when Harry invited him over to his house to hang out, he pushed all his anxieties and thoughts away and accepted the invite with a cheerful smile.

Easy peasy, innit?

No.

No, it isn’t, unfortunately.

“How do you mean, we’re not allowed to be seen together?” Louis questioned with furrowed eyebrows as he lay in Harry’s bed. They had snuggled and made out after he arrived and he actually thought it was going to be a nice and calm night, but it was starting to become the exact opposite.

“For a while,” Harry quickly interfered, “I need to get a little bit promo up for our new single that’s coming out soon, and they want me to hang out with ‘famous and quirky people’ so I get noticed.” He sighed heavily and for a moment it looked like it wasn’t easy for him either, but Louis scoffed inwardly. At least Harry wouldn’t be the one who’s being completely ignored. 

“And,” Louis croaked before he cleared his throat shakily, cursing himself for sounding weak. Harry didn’t mind though, he took Louis’ hand in his and kissed the back of it, encouraging him to go on. Louis pretended not to feel the butterflies erupt in his stomach. “And who’s it gonna be? Did they tell you whom you need to be seen with?”

Harry shrugged, tracing patterns along Louis’ palm, the smaller boy fighting against the laugh creeping up his throat. He was quite a ticklish one, you see.  
“I can choose that myself. Wanna take someone who’s kinda familiar, y’know. So I’ve decided to go out with Grimmy.”

Louis’ breath hitched. He knew all too well who Grimmy was, and he wasn’t ashamed to say that he didn’t like him one bit.   
Nicholas Grimshaw was a DJ at BBC Radio 1 and although people found him amusing and charming, Louis had never found a liking to him. He was too loud and pretentious and his quaff was just a tad too high and his smile just a wee bit too big.

And he had a crush on Harry. A huge one, if you can trust what the media says.  
They’ve hung out before, been good friends for a few years already, and in every picture that has been taken of the two of them you can practically see the thirst in Grimmy’s eyes.

 _Lover Undercover frontman Harry Styles and Radio DJ Nick Grimshaw an item?_ Louis has read one single article about them once, and never again. Too jealous of someone getting near his celebrity crush. He absolutely did not want Harry to go out with that jerk, but who was he to decide?

“Alright. And… Why exactly can’t we be seen together, if I may ask?” He didn’t give a fuck if he was sounding snappish. He just wanted to understand.

Harry exhaled loudly and untangled his hand from Louis, rubbing it over his face. “Because… Well fuck, I don’t know,” he raised his voice a little, making Louis’ eyes go wide with panic. The last thing he wanted to do was make Harry upset, but there he went. When Harry noticed, he immediately snapped out of it and scooted closer to Louis, putting a hand on his hip and stroking his thumb up and down there. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, “I really am. ‘m just a little stressed, don’t take it personally.”

Louis nodded and started tracing random patterns on Harry’s clothed chest, to busy himself, to avoid looking into Harry’s eyes. “It’s okay, I’m sorry too. We don’t have to talk about it, it’s actually none of my business.”

Harry’s eyes snapped to his suddenly, starring at him intensely. “None of your business?” he repeated disbelievingly, “How is this none of your business? We’re seeing each other, and suddenly I gotta tell you that I have to go on a few dates with someone else, how the hell are we supposed to not talk about this?”

Oh. _Oh._ So they’re seeing each other. That wasn’t just a little fling or affair for Harry. Ooooooh. Okay.

“Well, I didn’t-,” he cut himself off before he could say something stupid and ruin their moment. If what they were having could be considered a moment, that is. “I didn’t think of it that way,” he said instead, “But I’m okay with you going out with him. Want you guys to be even more successful, so do what it takes to get attention. What kinda fan would I be if I denied you that?” Louis asked with a cheeky smile, making Harry chuckle.

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Harry grinned, “Number one fan and all.”  
He rolled over suddenly so he was on top of Louis, arms braced on either side of the older guys’ head, staring down at him adoringly. “’m gonna talk to my manager and see if there is any way I can avoid it, okay? I’ll try.”

Louis actually wanted to protest, the _no you don’t have to, it’s okay, I understand_ on the tip of his tongue, but he let himself be selfish for once. “Okay,” he chose instead, letting Harry kiss him and mumbling one last time against his lips, “Okay.”

X

When Louis woke up in the middle of the night he found himself on top of a sound asleep Harry, the younger boy’s arms wrapped securely around him. He sighed and shifted slowly as not to wake up the sleeping lad, when- oh. _Oh._

He was hard. Why the fuck was he hard? Yeah, he and Harry had made out and fooled around a little before going to sleep, but Harry had jerked him off properly in the shower, there was no actual need for his body to feel frustrated. Louis knew he couldn’t go to sleep in that condition, and he really didn’t want to wake Harry, so he tried to get out of his arms as slowly and carefully as he could.

He startled when Harry moved in his sleep, locking his arms tighter around Louis’ shoulders. The older boy wanted to groan. Of course something like that would be happening to him, _of fucking course._ So he tried to see the positive side, at least his middle was free and he could try to get off discreetly without too much trouble.

Or, at least he hoped so.

He wiggled down a bit so his head was eye level with Harry’s chest and ever so slowly pulled down his boxers, just so his cock and arse were out.   
Sighing when he got that done without too much effort, he tried to think of what he could do next. He didn’t want to wake Harry, no matter what, because the other boy would be so grumpy during the night and in the morning, and Louis didn’t want to give up blowjobs and cuddles, thank you very much.

So the only thing he could have thought of was fingering himself.  
He knew that it was going to be hard to come almost untouched, or even to reach his prostate on his own at that angle, but it was damn well worth a try. He would just have to find some friction for his cock, he thought.   
When he finally decided that, yes, he was really going through with this, he reached out his arm and blindly searched for the lube he knew they left on the sheets somewhere. He found it a little under Harry’s pillow.

Squeezing some of it onto his fingers with some difficulties, he reached behind himself and spread his legs as best as he could, touching his hole. Louis let out a hiss at the cold sensation, but after rubbing the sticky stuff around his rim for a little while, his skin got used to it and he began to push the first finger in.

He had to hold back the moan that was threatening to escape his lips, playing with himself in that way just felt so fucking good, adding the fact that he wasn’t allowed to get caught. Of course, he knew that Harry wasn’t really going to be mad at him, but Louis knew how the younger boy didn’t really like Louis playing with himself and getting off on his own, rather have him a bit frustrated and begging on his expensive satin sheets.

Louis did hope that if Harry would wake up, he’d get a small punishment though, so he wouldn’t have gone through all of that for nothing. Well, almost nothing, that is.

 He was thrusting his finger in and out of himself for a little before adding the second, doing his best to reach his spot as fast as he could. Whimpering quietly as he brushed it once, it came to his mind that he could grind against Harry’s thigh for friction, so he could come quicker. He didn’t care about anything anymore, his mind was clouded with lust and the only sensation he wanted to feel in that moment was the pure bliss as he jammed his fingers into his prostate again and again.

Louis spread his legs a little and ground his hips down in light thrusts, letting the head of his cock brush against Harry’s thigh, making him see white as he finally managed to find his spot.

“Oh shit,” the small boy whimpered “c’mon yeah, fuck…” He needed to be careful and not too loud, Harry wasn’t a light sleeper but he still did wake up because noises were bothering him, and that was not Louis’ plan.  
His hand was starting to cramp a little but he couldn’t care less, shifting his thigh a bit higher so he could finger himself more easily.

Suddenly, he slipped a little and glided down so his cock was level with his lover’s crotch, and Louis cursed himself. There were only two options now.  
One, stop grinding and looking for friction so Harry would keep sleeping and Louis wouldn’t get his release in quite the long time, or two, continue humping and risk Harry waking up and be cross with him. Well, Louis always made the wrong decisions, might as well do it wrong this time.

With that, he started humping again, Harry’s thick cock giving him the perfect friction, and the smaller boy smirked mischievously as he felt him harden beneath him. Cheeky bastard, horny even during his sleep. But, when the thought about it, Louis wasn’t much different, so they were kinda even.  
After a few more strong thrusts and jabs into his prostate, Louis felt himself come close as he thought of Harry and his strong body, his big hands and huge, juicy cock. With a cry he released his load between them, muffling his moans and noises against Harry’s abs, sighing as he pulled his fingers out of himself.

Harry had moved a little during Louis’ nightly masturbation session, but his grip hasn’t loosened and he didn’t wake up, so Louis considered that a success.   
He knew that he should probably try and clean himself off, but there was no way to do so with Harry still trapped under his body.

The only thing he could think of was to sleep right in that moment, and hope that he’d wake up the next morning before Harry did so he could clean them both up and pretend like nothing ever happened.  

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loubrator.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeeeee two updates in one week, aren't I amazing? :D   
> I know the chapters are pretty short but pls bare with me I'm trying my best! Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are aprreciated, love u all!
> 
> (loubrator.tumblr.com)  
> :) Xxx.

Harry opened his eyes to be met with complete darkness, his mouth gummy from sleeping, and sleep present in his green orbs. The first thing he realized was that it was probably still in the middle of the night, maybe around 2 a.m., and he wondered what the fuck had caused him to wake up. Then it hit him, he was rock hard in his boxers, and he didn’t even have a wet dream or anything. Weird. The second, or, third thing, really, he realized was that he had a sudden weight on top of him, and he remembered that Louis was sleeping there.

He smiled at the grip he had around the smaller boy, happy about how close they held each other even while sleeping. It made his heart flutter a bit, not that he’d ever admit it, really. If he was being frank, he felt very hot underneath the sleeping beauty, and even though he didn’t want Louis to get off him, he needed to find a sleeping position for them that’d be more comfortable. Without waking Louis, of course, because he was sure the older lad would kill him if he woke him up, literally.

So Harry wanted to lift the boy up very slowly and carefully to lay him on the bed next to his own body, so he could spoon him comfortably without it being too hot. As he grabbed Louis’ thighs to hoist him up a little so he could roll him over and beside him, he suddenly felt something sticky on Louis’ thighs, starting on the inner ones and going up to his bum. When he shifted a bit, he felt wetness on his body, too. He furrowed his eyebrows, he didn’t seriously come in his sleep, did he? Because that would be a.) very embarrassing, and b.) very fucking weird seeing as he was still hard and throbbing in the comfort of his underwear.

He reached out his finger to get something of the wetness onto it, so he could see what it was, when he accidently dipped into Louis’ arse, and oh. _Oh._  
Louis didn’t wear any underwear and his hole was wet and stretched and a smirk made its way onto Harry’s face. Louis had fingered himself in his sleep, didn’t he? That little minx, Harry thought, can’t even keep his hands to himself when Harry’s asleep next to him. Perfect opportunity for a little punishment, then.

To be a hundred percent sure he was really correct, Harry sneaked his hand to the front of Louis’ body and yep, his little cock was also wet, he definitely got off. But how did he actually manage to come?

Harry’s stomach flipped pleasantly at the idea he had, maybe Louis rubbed off of him, so that’s why Harry was hard too. Now he definitely needed a punishment, Harry was sure of it. That’s when he slipped a finger into Louis’ waiting hole, just playing around for a little, seeing if he could wake him up like that. He took a step further and started kissing Louis’ face, his lips and a little part of his neck he could reach. That was going to be fun.

Louis stirred, and before he had the chance to fall back asleep properly again, Harry slipped in two more fingers alongside the one, smirking at the way the smaller boy whimpered. “H- harry,” he could hear, very quiet and breathy, and Harry started to thrust his fingers in and out of his boy repeatedly.

“That good, baby?” he spoke into Louis’ hair, kissing it as Louis’ tightened his arms around his neck. He felt him nod against his chest, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to see Louis struggle a bit. “Words, Louis. Use your words.”

Louis snapped out of his daze at Harry’s raspy yet stern voice, answering like he knew he should. “Yeah, so good. Thank you…”

Harry wanted to ask him, wanted him to blush as he admitted that, yes, he had been a bad boy, and that, yes, he made himself come without Harry’s help or permission. So he did. “Have you been touching yourself while I was asleep, baby? Hmm? ‘s that why you pretty asshole is wet and stretched for me?”

Louis whimpered, he didn’t really think Harry wouldn’t find out, did he, and nodded his head. “Yes I have, I’m so sorry… Was so horny but didn’t wanna wake you… Please,” he moaned as Harry fingered his harder and quicker, using his free hand to stroke along Louis’ crack and fondle his balls.

When he found Louis’ prostate the other boy arched his back and let out a cry of pleasure, and Harry struggled with keeping him on his chest. “Daddy,” Louis moaned into Harry’s neck, and suddenly, both froze. Harry’s hands stilled and Louis’ body went tense, pulling away and trying to get away from Harry, but he wouldn’t let him. Harry didn’t even know Louis was into that kind of stuff, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t incredibly hot.

“I- I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking and I really didn’t wanna sa-,”

“Shhh, baby boy,” Harry interrupted soothingly, he really had to control himself not to flip Louis over and fuck him into oblivion right that instant, “It’s okay, it’s all good. Lean on me again and let Daddy make you feel good, yeah?”

Louis looked at him unsure, biting his lip and avoiding Harry’s gentle gaze. The younger didn’t understand why he was so uncomfortable all of a sudden, it’s not like they haven’t done some kinky stuff in the past. “You… You’re not freaked out?” Louis asked in a small voice, making Harry’s heart clench.

“Of course not Lou, why would I be? I mean, we will have to talk about it later, but I’m ready to please you as good as I can in the bedroom, and if being your Daddy is something it takes to make you happy, I’m willing to do it,” Harry explained gently before adding with a smirk, “and besides, I love it how you call me Daddy, think my dick has gotten even harder than before.”

Louis let out a quiet chuckle, kissing Harry’s lips. “Why don’t I find out, huh?”

“Whatever you want, princess.”

That’s when Louis shuffled down, kissing Harry’s neck and along his chest, biting and sucking. He nosed along Harry’s bulge and mouthed at it, tasting the salty precome through his briefs, kissing around his hard cock. Harry let out a pleased sigh when Louis removed his underwear, letting his erection spring free. The older lad then proceeded to suckle on the tip, taking the dick by the shaft and slapping it onto his tongue, never breaking eye contact with Harry.

“Oh yeah, baby. Just like that, ah,” Harry moaned as Louis started to suck him off for real, bobbing his head and moving his tongue, “You like that, don’t you? Like Daddy’s hard cock in your mouth?” Louis moaned around his cock and nodded as best as he could, pulling off and spitting onto it. The sight was filthy and so, _so_ fucking _hot._ Louis sucked all the precome off of Harry’s dick and spit onto his balls, wetting them so he could kiss and suckle on them better. Jerking Harry’s cock, he softly bit into the sensitive skin of Harry’s testicles, making the younger boy throw his head back with a moan.

“ _Yes, that’s it,_ ah fuck… Baby, your mouth’s so good… Fuck…”

Louis pulled off with a grin and licked Harry’s dick up and down once more before kissing his way up Harry’s amazingly built body again, kissing him when he reached his lips. The curly haired lad flipped them over so now he was on top of Louis, kissing his neck and sucking hickeys into his collarbones.

“Daddy,” Louis mewled, gripping onto Harry’s curls and rolling his hips up to be met with Harry’s cock. Harry smirked at his boys’ moans, thrusting his hips so they were grinding against each other. Louis’ hands shot up to Harry’s back, holding onto the younger boy for dear life.

“Don’t worry baby, Daddy’s gonna take care of you. I know how you need it.” With that he grabbed Louis’ legs and pushed them to his chest so he was completely exposed to Harry’s hungry gaze, his arms supporting his thighs as best as they could. “Your asshole looks delicious, baby,” Harry breathed against it before licking a fat stripe over it, making Louis cry out. Harry’s brain to mouth filter seemed non- existent, the only thing on his mind being to make Louis come.

Okay, then.

He grabbed his cock and lined it up with Louis’ quivering hole, stroking up and down to tease a little, before sinking in slowly but deeply. Louis’ body froze beneath him, his mouth hanging wide open and his eyes closed.

Harry loved how Louis looked in that moment, vulnerable, soft, gorgeous. His come face was also one of Harry’s favourite things, but that’s something else. He lay on top of Lou so they were chest to chest, bottoming out and letting the smaller boy adjust to the size of his cock. Not an easy task to do, he remembered Louis saying. When Louis regained his composure a little, he kissed Harry deeply and began to thrust his hips up, signalizing for Harry to get going. Which he immediately did, of course.

He pulled out a little and snapped his hips down again, trying right away to find Louis’ sweet spot. He buried his face in Louis’ neck, inhaling the unique smell of sweat and cologne and _Louis,_ whispering in his ear, “You like that baby boy? Like Daddy pounding into your sweet little ass like that?”, and okay.

Maybe he did have a thing for that Daddy thing. Maybe even more than Louis did. Maybe not. Who knows? Whatever.

The way Louis moaned at that made everything else irrelevant though, chanting “Yes Daddy, so good, your huge cock feels so good,” and arching off the bed. Harry sped up his thrusts while holding Louis’ hips and pulling him to his cock, the other lad’s legs just trashing around. Harry liked to take his sweet time with Louis sometimes, but it was almost 4 a.m. and he had a shooting in the morning and then an interview and his ‘date’ with Nick was supposed to be on that evening, and nope, he most certainly did not have time for a nap inbetween that, so he wanted to make his sweet boy come and then nut himself and get a good night’s sleep like he deserves.

He decided not to rush it though, because he knew it wouldn’t end too well, so he invested in jerking and talking dirty. “Play with your prick, sweetheart,” he commanded and Louis obeyed immediately, Harry wondered why he wasn’t surprised at all. Louis grabbed his dick with shaky hands and began to stroke up and down, droopy eyes never leaving Harry’s, and Harry just wanted to kiss him silly. Which he did. Bending down carefully, as not to slow down his thrusting, he licked at Louis lip until he stuck his tongue out, and they moved their tongues around each other’s filthily, not even kissing, but Harry found it immensely hot.

“Daddy’s filthy little boy, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Louis mewled, “so bad Daddy, ah… Fuck yeah, give it to me, f _uck yessss_.” Louis’ moans were driving Harry insane, making him get closer and closer to the edge. He slapped Louis’ hand away and began to wank him, swiping his thumb over the slit ever so often.

“Har- Daddy,” Louis mewled, throwing his head back, “’m close… Gonna come, Daddy, please, I-“

“Shh, ‘ve got you,” Harry whispered in a strained voice as he began to thrust deeper and harder, pounding into Lou’s prostate spot on. After just a few more minutes, Louis was pulling Harry closer, clutching and scratching at his back and wrapping his legs around his waist so he could rut up onto Harry’s cock. Louis shot his load with a loud cry of Harry’s name, not _Daddy_ this time, and Harry followed soon after, of course he did.

After cleaning up they lay beside each other, Harry gently stroking over the arm Louis had wrapped around his neck. “So, Daddy, huh?” he gently asked when he was sure that Louis wasn’t asleep yet. The other boy let out a long groan and tried to hide his face in Harry’s chest so he wouldn’t have to look him in the eye, making Harry chuckle. He grabbed him by the beck of his neck gently and pulled him away so they were directly face to face, kissing his lips and giving him a small, gentle smile. “C’mon boo, talk to me.”

His eyes widened at what he had just said. Boo. Really? Was he a 16 fucking year old girl to be calling the boy in his bed boo? God, he was suck a fail. Luckily, Louis played it off. “Oh, pet names now, it is? Didn’t know we were that far yet.”

“Well, you did call me Daddy a few minutes ago, so…”

“Oh shut up!” Louis laughed and hit his arm, both boys chuckling and laughing loudly. “Okay, but seriously. Uhm… It’s kinda a small thing? For me?”

He still didn’t meet Harry’s eyes and that was bothering the younger boy, why didn’t he trust him enough? They weren’t dating, sure, but he still wanted to have fun with Louis and wanted him to be comfortable in the presence of Harry and his cock. “Hey, Lou, c’mon. Look at me while we’re talking. I told you I’m not freaked out in the slightest, I liked it even. Nothing to be scared of, babe.” He hoped he was kinda soothing.

Louis smiled softly and pulled him down by his hair to kiss him deeply, before pecking his lips a few times. He took a deep breath and started. “Okay. Okay. So as I have already said, it’s a thing for me. Like, it turns me on when you’re in control. And calling you Daddy and being your good boy just… adds to all of it, y’know?”

Harry nodded along. “Is it just in the bedroom, or also outside?”

Louis quickly shook his head. “No no, it’s just when we’re having sex. It also doesn’t have to be every time, just when I’m feeling, y’know, especially-“

“Filthy,” Harry finished for him and Louis chuckled, “I get it. Totally okay, I liked it too.”

“Yeah?”

Harry nodded. “And now sleep, I have a very busy day tomorrow.”

Louis smiled and they kissed a little, before falling asleep all snuggled up and fucked out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shitty ending of the frickle frackle hehe oopsies 
> 
> loubrator.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaand here's another update! I'm very sorry it's always taking so long, I really am, but I'm trying my very best! For those of you who have asked, Ziam is gonna appear in the next chapter, fear not! :D  
> Kudos and Comments are appreciated, criticism and suggestions are even life- saving!   
> Hope you like it, thank you all so much for reading, love you :) Xxx.

Well, Louis knew that he had agreed to this. He _knew,_ okay?   
But. It was just so weird for him, and he wasn’t okay with it all of a sudden, and he wanted to stop Harry from getting ready in his bedroom and just pin him to the bed and never let him go.

But he couldn’t do so, because Harry had a date shortly, with Nick of all people, and Louis needed to let him go and enjoy the evening. He didn’t even understand why he cared that much. Okay, that was a lie.

The few days following up to the event were very pleasant for both Harry and Louis, they spent so much time together before Harry had to do other shows and appearances, and Louis couldn’t help but feel like they were a- a couple, almost. They talked and cuddled and fooled around and fucked and Louis hadn’t felt that happy in a really, really long time.

He even rejected Zayn when he wanted to fuck him, and, well, that was. That was something very unusual, and of course, Zayn had to prod.   
“Is it ‘cause of Harry? Lou, you know I’d totally understand if-,”  
Louis let out a loud groan. He was not going to talk about this while Zayn was plastered to his side, he was _not._

“No, Zayn, it has got nothing to do with Harry, now could we _please_ continue watching the movie?”

He could practically feel the smirk on his mate’s face, that little fucker.   
“Oh, and that’s why we haven’t done anything remotely sexual since you’ve started sleeping over at Harry’s almost every chance you got? Because he isn’t the reason for you shying away at all?”

Louis glared at him, he hated Zayn.

“I hate you, Zayn.”

The Bradford lad just chuckled and kissed Louis’ cheek, smiling softly.   
“You’re so far gone, Tomlinson,” he spoke softly, “and d’ya know when the last time I’ve seen you this happy because of a guy was?”

Louis just shrugged, eyes not meeting Zayn’s.

“Never.” He simply replied, “I’ve never seen you this happy because of anybody.”  
With that he got up and left Louis alone with his thoughts.

And Zayn wasn’t right, he just _wasn’t,_ because why would Harry Styles, THE Harry Styles want to fall for a nobody named Louis Tomlinson who couldn’t even finish college or make his dream come true, while Harry toured as the leadsinger of the band Lover Undercover, having girls and boys at his feet, all that money and fame and fortune and. Louis didn’t have any of that, couldn’t give Harry anything except his body, and that wasn’t enough.

Louis wasn’t enough.

Not beautiful enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not interesting enough, not talented enough, not never _ever_ enough.

That’s what he told himself anyway.

So that’s why he needed to let Harry go to that date with Nick, he couldn’t come off as clingy and desperate, he needed to play it cool. But how could he when the feelings he had for Harry were ripping him apart, and even though he knew he should get away before it was too late once and for all, he couldn’t bring himself to leave that angelic face behind. It’s gonna hurt more later on, he knew, but he didn’t care. He was going to keep Harry for as long as the other boy would have him.

“Do I look good like this?” Harry’s voice ripped Louis from his thoughts as he stepped in front of the mirror, adjusting his headscarf. Louis smiled a little and stood up, walking towards Harry and hugging his waist from behind. Harry looked up, into Louis’ eyes through the mirror. His smile was everything to the smaller boy.

“You always look good, H,” Louis said quietly, “smash those paps today, yeah? And have a good time with Nick.” Apparently, Harry could see the insecurity and hesitance in Louis’ eyes, because he turned around and wrapped his hands around Louis’ shoulders, frowning down at him.

“You do know that I’d rather stay here with you than go out with him, yeah?” Louis just shrugged with a small smile, insecure. “For God’s sake baby, you don’t really think I’m gonna be enjoying myself much tonight, do you? It’d be amazing to take you with me if I could, just so you could be close to me, but I can’t.” Harry pouted cutely and Louis let out a chuckle, kissing Harry’s lips softly.

“I know babe, don’t worry. I’m staying at Harry Styles’ mansion, with a TV room and a popcorn machine and ice cream and every game of FIFA that exists, I think I’ll manage alone for a few hours.” Harry laughed at that, all shut eyes and head thrown back, and if Louis prided himself on making Harry laugh, so what? You would too, believe him.

“I’m glad,” Harry smiled as he detached himself from Louis in order to put his shoes on, and the smaller boy followed him out into the front hall. “There’s nothing gonna happen, just so we’re clear,” Harry said once he was done, his expression serious and stern, “Nick and I are gonna have dinner and get papped going out to the car, and that’s it, okay? Don’t you worry.”

Louis wondered why Harry felt the need to make sure Louis understood that he wasn’t planning on shagging Nick, or anything, for that matter. They weren’t even dating. And Louis wouldn’t be Louis if he hadn’t blurted that out stupidly.

“Yeah no worries, it’s not like we’re dating or anything.”

Oh, shit.

The way Harry’s face fell felt like a thousand stabs to Louis’ heart, and he wanted to take the words back immediately, but he was too stunned and speechless to do so. Before he could say anything else, Harry beat him to it.   
“Yeah, I- I know, no worries, ‘s all cool,” he smiled tightly, and mumbled, “’s all cool.” He wiped his hands off his jeans in nervousness and Louis just stared at him, unable to speak, to move, anything. He was an idiot.

Harry put on his coat and went over to the door, turning around one last time, “Don’t wait up for me, though.”

“Please keep your promise,” Louis whispered long after the door slammed shut and wondered if he had just ruined something massive, something important.

He probably had.

X

Harry clutched the steering wheel tighter, his brows furrowed.

He knew it. He fucking knew this was going to happen. He had felt it coming a long time ago, Louis rejecting and not wanting him, he just never would have thought it was going to be that soon. The words Louis had said played in his mind like a broken record and he didn’t understand why he even bothered so much, why didn’t he just leave and save himself all that heartbreak and whatnot. It’s not like he wasn’t used to leaving what he loved behind.

But no, he couldn’t do that, Harry realized, Louis was far too important, he was just. He was something else, to say the least. And Harry let himself fall, fall hard for the very first time in years, really, fall hard and fast and fucking heartfirst. Yes, heartfirst. And now it was kinda shattered.

He didn’t know what he was expecting anyway, really. He wrote 5 songs about Louis in total in the last 8 months they’ve known each other, and even though he’d never admit these tracks were about the feathery haired angel sitting on Harry’s couch, he kind of just hoped Louis would just _know, feel it,_ somehow.  
But nope, that wasn’t happening.

He hummed the tune and sang the lyrics of one of the last songs he wrote, seeing once again how very true the words were.

 _I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake baby,_  
snap out of it  
I get the feeling I left it too late, but baby,  
snap out of it  
…

Couldn’t Louis just fucking snap out of it and see how much Harry cared? He refused to say anything that has got anything to do with the L-word, because they weren’t that far, not even Harry was that far, but damn, he did think he could love Louis someday. If he gave him the bloody chance, that is.

He decided to calm down a little, not to break any speeding laws, and breathed in and out deeply. He was just going to have to deal with the Louis Issue later, he was going to have fun with Nick now.

Harry and Nick were quite good friends, and there have always been rumors about Nick having a huge crush on the younger lad, which wasn’t too far from the truth. Harry was flattered, of course he was, Nick was attractive and nice and fun to be with, so why wouldn’t Harry find it all very cute?   
But he knew he could never date Nick, their friendship was perfect, but anything beyond would just lead to massive problems and Harry didn’t want to ruin what they had. Nick had the same opinion, so they just left it at that.

That’s why it was much of a surprise when Harry’s management suggested Nick to play his date so the media would bugger of with relationship rumors with Louis, and it was also a huge surprise when Nick agreed to it.  
They decided to make the most of it and just play along, pretend it’s a hangout like any else they had.

Harry pulled up to the restaurant and got out, paps already waiting and starting to snap pictures of him entering the place. He ignored their questions and just made his way through the crowd, thank God nobody bothered him so he didn’t regret not hiring a bodyguard. When he got into the expensive restaurant he immediately spotted Nick sitting at a table by the window, nicely visible to all the photographers out there.

“My, my, Styles, aren’t we looking fancy tonight?” Nick smiled as he stood up to kiss Harry’s cheeks, and the younger boy beamed at him.

“Could say the same about you, Grimshaw. With you in that bowtie I do seem a bit underdressed, don’t you think?” Harry smiled and they both sat down, the waiter bringing them the drinks Nick seemingly ordered before Harry arrived.

“You? Underdressed? Never,” Nick chuckled as he took a sip of his wine, “Your outfits are always spectacular.”

Harry laughed shortly, already feeling his tens self relaxing in Nick’s company. He sure was a good friend. They ordered their food and ate while chatting a bit, and soon they were out of wine, neither of them noticing. “Oh, what a pity. I was enjoying this one,” Nick pouted comically, pointing to the empty bottle. Harry just chuckled and shrugged, swallowing his food before speaking up again.

“Why don’t we hit a club or something after dinner? I’m having too much fun for this to end.”

Nick smiled and nodded, and soon they were walking out of the restaurant, hand in hand, for show, of course. The paparazzi asked them questions and yelled rubbish as they always did, but the two guys just ignored it and got into Harry’s car, ready to head to a nearby club.  

X

Louis was laying on the couch and watching TV, bored out of his mind. He had already wandered around Harry’s house, looking at different pictures with his family and friends from home, just like a few of him and his bandmates.   
There was once price the band one at an underground club for best performance of the month, and Louis smiled proudly at how Harry put it on top of his shelf in the living room. Louis knew Harry had quite a lot money, but the thought of taking something from his home never crossed his mind, and he hoped Harry knew that and trusted him. He was sure the younger boy did.

So there he was, flicking through the channels and looking for something interesting to watch, when he suddenly stopped at a British channel and his blood froze. There was a blurry video of two people in a club, one pinned against the wall and the other with their face in the other person’s neck, probably sucking on or kissing it. The TV reporter’s voice was all Louis could hear, it seemed even louder than the rapid thumping of his heart.

 _“20 year old bandmamber of Lover Undercover, Harry Styles, was spotted at a club just a few minutes ago, seemingly sucking Radio1 DJ Nick Grimshaw’s face off. The couple was seen at a date in the expensive restaurant_ Atelier Robuchon _, enjoying a fancy dinner and leaving the building hand in hand. No bodyguard was following them as they entered the club, and after a fan had spotted them snogging, they recorded it and uploaded it to youtube for the whole world to see. Maybe people’s gossip about the boy and the DJ wasn’t even that far from the truth, eh?_

_Styles was just recently seen with an unknown boy, and even before that, rumors were he was seeing the gorgeous model Cara Delevingne.  
The young singer has gotten himself an image of a woman- or manizer, really, and he doesn’t seem to mind, claiming that he ‘loves everybody and will never be ashamed of showing it in public’._

_We will keep you updated on the heartbreaker’s love life, who knows, maybe you’ll get the chance to be a love interest for THE Harry Styles one day.”_

She ended the report with a wink to the camera and they showed the video again, before the show was over. Louis felt like puking his guts out.   
He heard a sudden loud ringing in his ears and it wouldn’t stop, it didn’t stop when he stood up to splash cold water on his face, nor did it stop when he banged his head against the door.

The only question was, how could he?

How could Harry do this to him? Yeah, okay, Louis had said a pretty stupid thing before Harry left, but even though the boy was younger, he wasn’t stupid. Didn’t he get hints? He wrote at least a dozen songs about love and never letting go and   being oblivious or not being loved back and all that shit, didn’t he fucking know how to do that shit in real life?

Apparently not.

So Louis packed up his stuff, called Zayn to pick him up, and left Harry’s house without leaving any kind of note.

He didn’t know what to do with himself, he was so hurt.

X

Oh shit. Oh, shit.

What the fuck had happened? Why the fuck did he let it come that far?

Harry didn’t fucking know, the only thing he knew is that he came home from Nick’s in the morning and Louis was nowhere to be found, his head was pounding and he fucked up. He fucked up majorly.

He remembered snippets of last night, how he had met Nick at the restaurant, had got papped, had been heading to a club to forget about some things for a while. Well, not really just some things. What Louis had said to him.

It’s not like they were dating.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?  
Harry knew they weren’t official, but he thought they had _something special,_ and Louis just crudely destroyed every ounce of hope Harry had about making stuff official.

And he didn’t even know why, because he didn’t do love and commitment, but Louis fucked him up, and now here he was. He should probably talk about that with someone. But that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that Harry remembered how he promised Louis that he wouldn’t hoop up with Nick, but he did. Well, they didn’t have sex, they made out. All of that was on bloody television now, for fuck’s sake.   
He was labeled a womanizer, a flirt, fucking everyone that presented themselves to him, and that was not fucking true.  
He wasn’t a manwhore!

He let out a huff and dialed Niall’s phone number, he needed to talk to someone right now.

“Hello?”, came Liam’s unexpected voice, and Harry wondered what the fuck he was doing with Niall’s phone.

“L- Liam?”

“Yeah, Harry. It’s me,” Liam sounded annoyed and Harry really didn’t want to deal with a grumpy and angry Liam at the moment. Oh yeah, you guessed it, they still haven’t made up.

“Uhm, well, okay… Where’s Niall?” Harry just wanted to talk to his best friend before breaking out in fucking tears, goddamn it.

“He’s sleeping, I had to pick him up from a night out yesterday, and I thought I’d stay with him, don’t want him to choke on his own vomit in his sleep. You know how he gets.”

Yeah, Harry knew all too well. Unfortunately, that is.

“Alright then, er…”

“Harry, mate, you alright?” Liam sounded concerned, a tone in his voice Harry hasn’t heard in months, and he scrunched up his eyebrows. He was fighting a huge sob to escape.

“N- no,” came out his shaky voice before the dam broke and he let the tears fall, he didn’t know why exactly he was crying, but everything that has been happening lately was just becoming too much for him.

He heard Liam mumble a silent “oh, fuck… Haz”, into the phone before he hung up, leaving Harry alone to his thoughts. He understood why Liam was mad at him, he screwed up yet again, and maybe this time, it was affecting the band after all. And he fucked Louis over, what the hell was he thinking?   
He just sat there, his head in his hands, letting the tears escape and the sobs wreck his body. His phone was probably blowing up with notifications from twitter, his mother had surely called already, and he didn’t even need to check to know there was no text from Lou. He didn’t want to be alone that moment.

Just as he thought that, he heard the front door slam shut and heavy footsteps echo through the big hallway before coming into the living room where Harry was sitting. In a matter of seconds two strong arms were wrapped around him, pulling him close and letting his face breathe into their neck, and Harry didn’t even have to look up to know that it was Liam. It had been to long since the two of them were doing anything but fighting, really.

“Shh Haz, it’s okay,” Liam’s low voice was soothing in his ear, his hands rubbing Harry’s shirt- clayed back comfortingly, “It’s all going to be alright, yeah? Nobody’s mad at you, and fuck what the media thinks. They think all bandmembers of every band are assholes, who cares?”

“I didn’t wanna let you all down,” Harry sobbed heavily, “’ave the feeling like I’m ruinin’ everything ‘ere.” Liam’s chin was resting on his head and he buried himself deeper into the older boys’ chest, wanting to be small.   
What the hell has happened to him?

“C’mon Haz, let’s get you into bed, and after you’ve slept for an hour or so, we can talk about it all, okay? How’s that sound?” Liam began to stand up and pulled Harry with him, leading him upstairs. The older guy was really concerned, Harry normally didn’t regret anything he did and lived life to its fullest, this was completely new for all of them.

Harry got under the covers with Liam and let himself be cuddled, the only thing he thought of before falling asleep were blue, unforgiving eyes full of hurt, all because of him.

It was always because of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loubrator.tumblr.com


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS OKAY I AM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG AGAIN but school's a pain, so yea...  
> I hope you like this one, I just wanted to mention that I'm using some band's songs (like Arctic Monkeys) and pretending they are songs written and sang by Lover Undercover, because I need to involve songs and I can't write them myself haha
> 
> Kudo's, Comments and Criticism are all very welcome, and thank you for reading!  
> Much love, enjoy Xxx.

“A- and I felt like passing out wh- when I saw the v- video of them kissi-,“ Louis’ couldn’t finish his sentence from all that crying and hiccupping, clutching Zayn’s shirt tighter as the younger boy rubbed his back soothingly.

He was so fucking done with Harry, he’ll be regretting hurting his best friend, Zayn  thought. How dare he?!

Louis had cried the whole night and didn’t stop in the morning, too hurt by all the events from last night. He let himself fall and thought it was a safe bet this time, but apparently, he thought wrong. How could he have been so stupid?  
When he got home from Harry’s, all he did was cry and feel sorry for himself, and he knew from experience that he would stay in that state of sadness and self pity for a long time. He had breakups before, just that one felt so much worse, because Harry, Harry was something very, _very_ special.

“You’re not gonna be reading any magazines or articles on the internet for the next few weeks, ya hear me?” Zayn demanded, voice still soft. “You’re gonna get over him, baby, you have always been strong.”

“B- but Zayn,” Louis weakly argued, wiping his cheeks while fresh tears stained them, “I thought I could eventually love him. Hell, I thought I l- loved him…” He started sobbing again, and Zayn let out a sad sigh, hating to see Louis like that. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time.

He had to do something, very quickly.

X

When Harry woke up with a pounding headache in his bed in the morning, he was confused as to why Louis wasn’t in bed with him. Wasn’t he supposed to stay over for the night? As he saw Liam though, he suddenly remembered all the events from last night, and he felt sick to his stomach. Nope, it wasn’t all a dream. It was the brutal reality.

How could he have been so stupid? He needed to apologize as soon as he fucking could, but then he remembered, they had an interview and a song writing session scheduled for the day. His head was fucking pounding. He was properly screwed.

“Hey,” Liam grumbled beside him, startling Harry a bit, but he relaxed immediately and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist. Yeah, they were all quite close and touchy feely, to say the least.

“Morning,” Harry mumbled.

“How’re ya feeling?”

“Head hurts. Eyes hurt. Everything’s shit.” Harry heard Liam sigh before feeling strong arms wrap him up and pull him into Liam’s chest, gently stroking his back. “’m sorry,” Harry sighed, “for everything, really. I’m sorry for being such a pain in the arse for the past months and for ruining it all for you. And I’ve missed this.”

Liam kissed his forehead gently. “You haven’t ruined anything, Harry, you gotta understand that. Management wanted you to go, so you did. And I am sorry for being a jackass, too, yeah? Missed my Hazza.” Harry smiled and kissed Liam’s cheek before untangling himself and getting up.

“I’m gonna make breakfast and then see if I can talk to Lou before we leave,” he announced, but Liam quickly interrupted.   
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, mate. Zayn says Louis is completely out of it at the moment, and if you even came close to their flat, Zayn would murder you. His words, not mine,” Liam tacked on as he saw Harry’s raised eyebrows.

“Since when are you and Zayn talking?” Harry asked suspiciously, a grin about to break out on his face.

“Uhm, we, uhm- well…,” Liam stuttered, and Harry’s grin widened, “When we went out at the club, he gave me his number, so… We started texting. It’s no big deal, could you please stop grinning like that?”

Harry tackled Liam and started tickling him, screaming “I knew it!” while laughing his arse off. “There is nothing to know, Jesus!” Liam huffed when they finished, a smile on his face.

Harry had really missed his cuddly teddy Liam. “C’mon, Zayn is gorgeous, and you two have obviously clicked. Why not try it out? He likes you a lot, anyway.”

Liam’s face lit up. “Really? Did he tell Louis anything about me?”

Harry had to bite his tongue to not burst out laughing.

“No he didn’t, but now I know for sure that you’d care if he did,” he laughed before sprinting out of the room while being chased by a yelling Liam.

X

When they were finished with breakfast and all ready to head out, Harry asked Liam one last time, “When do you think will I be able to talk to him?”

Liam shrugged. “I can ask Zayn if you want to, he knows best here,” he offered, “other than that I’d just say to give him time so he can initiate the conversation.” Harry nodded, Liam was actually right, he shouldn’t rush Louis at a time like that.

The interview went smooth enough, Harry didn’t answer too many questions and tried to act at least a little interested. Niall was buzzing, of course, that interview was planned to be all over YouTube and make the boys even more successful newcomers. What also helped was that the interviewer was nice enough and didn’t try to flirt with any of them, which was very unusual for them by now. They didn’t want to sound too cocky, it was just the truth.

The writing session though, that was what Harry dreaded the most. He loved writing, especially with more experienced people who were in the business when he was still in his diapers, but not that day. His head was pounding, he felt like crying, and he didn’t think he’d be that productive anyway.

“C’mon Haz, you can do it,” came Niall’s soothing voice as the blond hugged Harry tight, “Why don’t ya let it all out in a song?”

And that was it. That was _the_ idea of ideas. Why didn’t he think of it himself, what an idiot! He could write a song for Louis, a song _about_ Louis, pour his little heart out and show him all he has, make Louis forgive him. Hopefully.

“Niall, you’re a fucking genius!” He smiled and gave the cheery lad a kiss on the cheek before running off to find their manager and beg him for an own room to work in. He couldn’t be with people right now. When it all was settled, Harry sat down in the small room with his guitar and started strumming absent- mindedly, staring at the iPad in front of him. He needed to get something done.

He was concentrating on his thoughts of Louis mostly, the little things he noticed about him, and how he could express his… his…

His…

His love.

His love for Louis.

It was terrifying for him, but he had come to terms with his feelings: he was in love. Or he started to fall in love with the older lad, he wasn’t sure. Where was the difference? Where was the limit? He didn’t know.

What he did know, though, was that he wanted to write that song and perform it at their next concert and make Louis watch and listen and maybe, just maybe and if he had luck, forgive him. Take him back. Because what Louis had said, _it’s not like we are dating,_ was such bullshit and still made Harry’s chest ache when he thought about it. They were dating, just not officially.

It was all very complicated and stupid, but Harry had made it a mission to find out what exactly he felt, and if Louis felt exactly the same.

The young lad has written so many songs in his life, about true love and painful breakups and growing old with a partner and the hard times in a relationship, without ever having lived through it.

But now was his time to do so, not just in theory, he was going through that shit right now. And he must admit, it sounded much better and less painful in his songs. What kind of naïve kid he had been, he thought.

He started strumming that guitar more intensely, concentrating on sounds better, and soon enough a slow rhythm built up. He thought of lyrics, of Louis, of love, and more and more ideas came to his head and he hastily scribbled them down and typed them out, so scared of losing any of the important material.

When he was almost done with the song, he got out of the room and to the one where Liam and Niall were sitting in with a few other writers, only to see them laugh and joke around, apparently not working at all.

“What have you guys been doing?” came Harry’s slightly raspy voice, he had been singing the whole day, after all, and everyone looked at him surprised.

“We have started writing a few things down, have developed a nice melody to something,” Niall explained, “but we haven’t finished anything. Can’t write without ya, Haz, y’know it!”

Harry smiled warmly and put the guitar away, sitting down beside Niall.  
“’ve almost finished the whole song. I’m thinking of turning it into something more like… Indie rock? If you guys are up for it?”

Liam laughed out loud, patting him on the back. “Typical you, mate,” he smiled but nodded, “I think that could be cool!”

Julian, one of the guys they were writing with, agreed. “You could expand your fanbase, make rock’n’roll and indie… I think your next album could be even more epic than I originally assumed.”

When Harry showed them what he had written and they all nodded, impressed, he thought that maybe that day wasn’t the worst of his life, after all.

And he felt a little bad about it.

X

 “Hey, Lou?”

Louis looked up from his phone, seeing Zayn enter his room. “Hmm?”

Zayn sat down next to him on his bed, cuddling up to him. They were cuddling a lot these days. Understandable, if you asked Louis. “I know it’s maybe a little stupid to ask, but Liam says Harry is being a pain in the ass with all the crying and complaining he’s doing, so… We were wondering if you’d want to talk to him… About it all…? Maybe?”

Louis’ eyes darkened. “And what, take him back? He’s being  a dick to me, Zayn, and you bloody well know it, why should I give him a chance to make it up to me?”

“Lou, I never said you have to take him back. Just, talk to him. So you can get on with life and not wonder what you have done wrong- and don’t you dare telling me that you don’t think it’s your fault!” Zayn said sternly as Louis was about to interrupt. He knew how his best mate could get.

Louis just huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t act like it isn’t true.”

“Louis-“

“No, Zayn!” Louis yelled, “No! Do you think I didn’t know my time with Harry was limited? It was good while it lasted, yeah, but do you think I didn’t know he’d get bored and run off to find the next best person to have fun with?! I have _expected this,_ Zayn!” he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, yet he refused to let them fall. “I’m not good enough, never was, and never will be! Especially not for someone like Harry! Goddamn it!”

That’s when he burst out crying, his face in his hands and his shoulders shaking. With a quiet “Oh, Lou,” Zayn was by his side, holding and rocking him back and forth, soothing. Louis didn’t want this anymore. Harry had left him, and he wasn’t coming back, Louis just wanted to wish the pain away once and for all. He was sick and tired of being broken and hurt, he just wanted to sleep and never wake up again.

“Lou, listen baby,” Zayn murmured to him while he ran his hand through Louis’ hair. They have been cuddling for the past hour, and Louis didn’t want to let go. “I gotta go to work, babe, they’re threatening to cut off the electricity if we don’t pay the bills on time this month. I’d love to stay here, but I can’t.”

Louis sighed and propped himself up, kissing Zayn’s cheek. He felt bad because he wasn’t working as much as Zayn did, his job wasn’t so busy and he couldn’t find a second one, but Zayn always shrugged it off. He didn’t mind, he said. “Thank you so much, Zee,” he whispered and Zayn nodded before he left his room, Louis was now alone with his thoughts.

He wanted to talk to Harry, is the thing. He wanted to let him explain and believe him, but he just couldn’t. He was so, _so fucking terrified_ of being let down by Harry again, and he didn’t think he could take it yet again. His heart would literally explode. He had shut off his phone after Harry’s 14th call, he didn’t answer a single one of them, and he didn’t turn his iPhone on for the past two days. He was scared to do so. God, he was such a coward. With a weak sigh he made himself comfortable in bed and shut his eyes, trying not to think of green eyes and dimpled smiles.

X

He was woken up by the front door slamming shut and loud laughter, which- okay. Rude. He could make out Zayn’s voice as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and after a few seconds- hell no.

It was Liam. Liam was in his flat. And what if he had Harry with him? What should Louis do? The small boy panicked, immediately getting up and somewhat fixing his hair in the mirror before stepping out into the hallway and making his way over to the living room. What he found was a blushing Zayn in the arms of a grinning Liam, his face hidden in his neck and Liam’s nose buried in Zayn’s hair. Louis was about to be sick, what the _fuck?_

“Now, now, now, what do we have here?” he smirked as he stepped in front of the couch where the couple was sitting, and suddenly they jumped apart, flustered.

“Uhm, hey, Lou,” Liam greeted with a  blush high on his cheeks, and Zayn stuttered out an explanation of Liam picking him up at work and going to lunch with him. Louis found it cute, really, they looked good together. He just hoped Liam wouldn’t tell Harry about the cried- out state he was in, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted Harry to know or not. He wanted to make him feel bad about it all.

“It’s okay, Zee, don’t worry,” he laughed and was just about to get the hell out of there, because he wasn’t keen on seeing them make out, thank you very much, when he felt someone grab his wrist. It was Zayn.

“You sure you don’t mind?” he was biting his lip nervously and Louis smiled softly, leaning down to kiss his cheek. Zayn hasn’t been in a relationship for a long time, and even though he’d never admit it while sober, Louis knew that Zayn secretly loved the commitment. “’course, babe,” he chuckled, ruffling Liam’s hair, “but no fucking on shared surfaces, understood?”

“You’re one to talk!” he heard Zayn shout as he was leaving the room, making Louis chuckle. He made himself a cuppa and sat down with his phone, logging onto twitter. He found loads of tweets about Harry and Nick and their date, #Griles trending UK wide, and he started crying before he even realized it.   
It just wasn’t fair, is the thing. Harry had _promised_ him, he had _assured_ him, but there he was, sucking that prick’s face off.

Good, Louis thought, at least now he didn’t have to look at that visage anymore.

He was full on sobbing now, and he didn’t think of keeping the noises down, so he wasn’t too surprised when he felt a pair of arms engulf him. He looked up to see he was in Zayn’s lap, and Liam was looking at him with worried eyes. It was all so fucked.

“Shh Lou, it’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay,” Zayn’s soft voice rang in his ears, but he couldn’t believe it, shaking his head with his eyes closed. “It won’t! I’m not gonna get better, Zee. ‘m not,” he mumbled angrily, not caring if Liam heard. He didn’t care about anything anymore, he was just so, so tired.

“Louis, what are you on about?” Liam asked gently, he was cautious, and Louis understood why.

“Your best friend can go and get himself fucked, Liam,” Louis stated angrily, “Can’t believe he’s such an arsehole!”

Liam sighed and put his hand on Louis’ shoulder, exchanging a look with Zayn. “Lou, he cried because of what happened. It was all a lot for him, I’ve never seen him cry.”

“Well, good for him, I’m crying too, but Zayn sees me so often. And it’s all his fault!” He was so angry, and Liam was the closest thing to Harry, he had to get his frustrations out. He knew it wasn’t all to fair, though.

“I know, Lou,” Liam mumbled, “and you’re right, he has fucked up. But please don’t think he doesn’t regret it, because he really does. He’s dying to talk to you, you know.”

Louis took a deep breath and detached himself from Zayn’s body, driving his hands through his hair. He had to talk to Harry, eventually.  
“Okay,” he decided, “I’m gonna answer his texts and give him a chance to explain. I’m gonna talk, and he better not fuck it up again.”

Zayn nodded and reluctantly let Louis go, “I’m not all for this, you know that. But we all see that you need closure, for your own benefit, Lou. Tell me if he’s shitty again, and I’ll beat the shit out of him, you know I will.”

Louis glanced over to Liam who was looking at the floor. Louis got it, he really did. “’kay, Zee. Love you.”

And with that he went into his room and locked the door, ready to talk.

X

When Harry saw what name was written on the caller ID, he had to double check, not sure if he was hallucinating. It was Louis. Louis was fucking calling him, and he couldn’t be more happy and terrified all at once.

When he picked up the phone his voice was quiet, shy almost, and he shifted on his couch uncomfortably. “Lou? Louis?” he rasped out and held his breath, what was he supposed to say.

“How could you?” came Louis’ breathless voice, and Harry immediately felt pain in his chest. He deserved it. “How could you fucking _promise me,_ and then… I never thought- not like _this,_ Harry- not- not from _you!_ ”

“I know, Louis, fuck! I know! I’m so fucking sorry, you have to believe me, Lou. Please, I’m so sorry!” His heart broke when he heard Louis sobbing on the other end, and he willed his own tears away.

“Is it me? Am I not good enough for precious Harry Styles, with his money and his charm and his slutty antics, huh?” Louis hissed angrily, and he knew those words would hurt Harry, that’s why he said them.

“No, Louis! Fuck, no! It isn’t you, _I_ was being the asshole here, it’s sole my fault, but… But fuck, Lou!” he couldn’t hold back anymore, he needed to get it all out, so he did, “’It’s not like we are dating’, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? Yeah, we aren’t officially dating, but do you think I want it that fucking way?”

There was a pregnant pause on both ends, both of the boys not daring to say a word, before suddenly Louis burst out in tears. “Of course you do, you don’t do love, remember? What else am I to you than  a fucktoy you use when you’re bored and too lazy to go out and pull?”

Harry had no idea Louis thought that way, and fuck, he got it all so wrong.

“Baby,” he rasped, ignoring Louis’ pathetic whimper, “you’re so much more than that. So much more, and I’m so fucking terrified of it. You scare me, if I’m being honest. I don’t know what I’m feeling, I just know that I’ve never felt something like this before.” He prayed to God Louis wouldn’t misunderstand this.

“Tell me how it happened,” the older boy demanded, voice suddenly stern, “tell me how, and why!”

Harry took a deep breath. He had this one chance and he couldn’t fuck it up.

“Alright, so at our little… Encounter, or whatever you wanna call it, at my flat, I was really sad and so fucking angry. I had dinner with Nick and told him about it all, he said not to worry and distract myself for the night. I didn’t think he’d mean it _that_ way though, I swear! And then we decided to go to a club where I had a few drinks too many, and I don’t remember the rest. I just remember waking up in my bed with a headache, without you next to me, and feeling like shit. I know the story sucks and I have absolutely no excuse, but that’s it. That’s the story. And that’s all I have.”

It was silent again, Louis’ occasional sniffing audible, before Harry heard Louis sigh heavily. “Can you come over?” Louis asked quietly, and Harry frowned, his boy sounded so exhausted. He wanted to make it all better.

“Of course, if you want me to,” Harry whispered. Was he forgiven? He didn’t know, but he couldn’t wait to find out.

“See you, Haz,” and with that, Louis hung up and Harry sprinted into his garage to his car.

He hoped that maybe, just maybe, he had won his boy back.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loubrator.tumblr.com   
> :D Xxx.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! Been a while since I've last posted, I know, and I'm sorry- but I hope y'all can forgive me for that! There's no smut in this chapter, BUT THERE WILL BE PLENTY IN THE NEXT, I PROMISE!!! Also, the song mentioned is by The 1975 but can we please pretend like it's Harry's work? We already talked about that, aye? :D
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and I'll update as soon as I possibly can.  
> Kudo's, Comments and Criticism is what I live for, so don't be shy to give me either!
> 
> Love you all Xxx.

Okay, he could do it. Deep breaths. In and out, c’mon Louis, you can do it.  
He was pacing around the living room, trying to calm himself down after the phone call he had just had with Harry. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing he has ever done, really. He felt so torn, Liam talked to him and told him how much Harry cared, but Louis couldn’t believe it if he didn’t see it with his own eyes, and Harry wasn’t really showing it, so…

He didn’t really have much of a choice.

He wanted to forgive Harry so badly and go back to how they were, but he couldn’t let himself be played with like that. Now that Harry had confessed that he had feelings for him, serious feelings, Louis was even more confused.   
Why was he doing that to him, then? He had to make a decision, and he had to make it fast, or else Harry would get there and Louis would be putty in his hands and soon as they saw each other. He couldn’t let that happen.

So when the doorbell finally rang and Louis opened the door, the breath was knocked out of his lungs. In front of him was standing a tired looking, absolutely disheveled Harry, with wrinkled clothes and mussed up hair and that glint in his eye, that glint that showed a little bit of hope. Louis hated himself, only a little, only for a second.

“Hey,” Harry breathed out warily, not sure if he was allowed to speak. He actually wasn’t, but Louis’d let him have that one free pass.

“Come in,” he said with a voice that was just on the right side of cold, albeit a little shaky. He prayed to the Gods above that Harry didn’t notice.

“You, uhm,” Harry cleared his throat, “you wanted me to come over? To talk, I assume?” He was standing in the living room of Louis’ small, broken down flat, his appearance too fancy even though he probably didn’t change out of his clothes in two days, and Louis’ chest ached.

He had to do this. He had to.

“Harry… Please…,” he breathed out, didn’t dare to talk louder, and with his eyes closed, he whispered brokenly, “I can’t do this.”

He feared that maybe Harry didn’t hear him, he was so quiet, but to Harry it was like Louis had screamed it into his face, over and over and over again.  
Harry suddenly froze, looking at Louis and slowly shaking his head no.

“Louis, Lou- I- I’m so sorry, please don’t-,” he didn’t know what to say or do, it seemed. Louis’ breath was shaky and he prayed to God that he wouldn’t start crying in front of Harry, but the tears pooling in his eyes had a mind of their own.

“I need time, Harry. I knew it would come to an end eventually, because I didn’t think you’d start-” the tears he desperately tried to hold in were streaming down his face. Harry’s face suddenly hardened, and he looked at Louis with furrowed eyebrows. Louis tried not to care. He had to do this. “I never thought you would start developing _feelings_ for me, and… It’s all so complicated now.”

“Complicated?” Harry asked, flabbergasted. His tone was becoming a little bit angry now, which angered Louis even more, because, _how dare he make the tables turn?_

“Yes, Harry. Complicated. You’re confusing me.”

“ _You_ are the confusing one here, Louis!” Harry yelled and turns away from a shocked Louis. “You made me _feel_ something, _romantically,_ and just as I was about to figure it out, you pull some shit like saying that we’re not even dating, and crushing all the bloody confidence I had in asking you to be my boyfriend!”

Louis’ nostrils flared. “And that gives you the right to go and snog Nick? Oh, I’m _so sorry_ I didn’t see the romance in that, what a lovely gesture, what a sweet way to show me how much you care. Go ahead, do it again, it is _so fucking great_.”

“Stop it!” Harry yelled, his burning eyes looking right into Louis’, “if you weren’t so goddamn bitchy- and- and fucking c _omplicated,_ we wouldn-“

It happened fast and it happened unexpected. In two steps Louis was in front of Harry, pulling his hand back and striking him across the cheek, making Harry’s head turn to the right. Harry looked at him flabbergasted as he held his pulsing red cheek. Louis’ breath was heavy and irregular. “Don’t you ever, e _ver_ call me complicated again, Harry,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “don’t you _dare_ blame me for this!”

It was silent in the room as they just stared at each other, the tension could be cut with a knife.

“So that’s it, huh?” Harry was the first to speak up, his voice a gravelly whisper.

Louis looked to the floor, sadness growing in his chest. No, he thought, _NO!_

“I just,” he cleared his throat as his voice broke, “I just need a little more time, Harry. This is too much for me.”

This time Harry didn’t protest, just nodded his head and let out a defeated sigh. “Call me, okay?” he demanded, “call me when you’re ready to figure things out.”

Louis nodded and closed his eyes, kept them closed until he heard the door slam shut behind Harry.

Zayn found him curled up under a blanked with his eyes swollen and bloodshot, and with a heavy sigh he let himself down beside his best mate and wrapped him up in his arms. He knew exactly what to do when Louis got like this, had to do it too many times before.

He asked himself, when would it all end?   
When would Louis be just happy?

X

“You deserved it, bloody hell, Harry!” Liam chastised as he wrapped a drunk Harry into his arms.

“He said we were not dating, and he made it sound so ridiculous, Liam, like he was yelling _like I would date you, like you could ever have me, like we could ever be more than…_ more than _this_!” Harry sobbed, and fucking hell, when did he start to be such a crybaby.

16 days have passed since he had left Louis’ flat. 16 days. He had interviews and photoshoots, where the stylists always complained about the bags under his eyes that were hard to cover up (“Try not sleeping for a week,” he had snapped once, only getting a sympathetic look from Lou in return), and he acted happy. Nonchalant. Charming, as always. But as soon as they got sent home he drowned himself in alcohol.

The thing was, even though Louis probably hurt the most out of these too, Harry’s heart was ripped, too. He was never in love, never let himself fall, and just when he thought he had found the right boy to figure out his feelings with, what love really meant, he let him down like Harry has never been let down before. And it _hurt,_ was the thing. He didn’t know what to do with himself, and he felt pathetic, because Liam kept telling him what Zayn had told him beforehand, how Louis found a new job and it’s still shitty but they are _surviving_ and how Louis had bought himself a fish that died 3 days later because he forgot feeding  it and how he started skating regularly with Zayn again, like they were doing a few years ago.

So much was happening in Louis’ life now that Harry wasn’t there, and Harry wondered, what if he had been holding Louis back all the time? He remembered how Louis always waited for Harry to have time, and there’s not a single time where Louis cancelled their plans, and he always had to see when he could fly out to another country to see Harry on tour, and Louis had always been the one waiting, and never letting Harry down. He didn’t have a job, because if he would’ve had one, he couldn’t have been visiting Harry on tour as often as he wanted to, because _my boyfriend is a really famous singer and I gotta fly out to the US to see him_ doesn’t work as an excuse as to why one hasn’t been to work in a week or two.

It all just sucked major balls, and Harry just wanted his Lou back, or at least just a sign of him.

Until he got all that though, he was drowning himself in another bottle of whiskey.

X

_Show me how much you care. Make me believe it. Prove it, Harry. One chance._

That may look like a completely overdramatic and stupid line for some people, but for Harry it was all he needed at the moment, a second chance with Louis.   
When Louis had texted him exactly _that,_ Harry went batshit crazy. He started screaming how much he loved life, and when he went to hug Niall, the blond shoved him off with a muttered, “calm down, Jesus”, but altogether, Harry was happy and glad and just- a million things he couldn’t describe.

But now there was a little problem- how was he going to prove it to Louis?

He couldn’t do some regular shit, he couldn’t buy him a thousand roses and a huge teddy bear and beg for forgiveness till Louis caved, no, he knew his boy and he knew he had to do something _huge._ And maybe even a little bit cliché, he was Harry Styles after all, and he was quite a popular celebrity, if he could say so himself. He needed to use it to his advantage.

“What should I doooooooo?” Harry asked as he was sitting on Niall’s couch one day, with Liam covering his ears right next to him.

“Stop bloody _yelling_ , for one!” Liam shouted, making Niall cackle like mad. Weird lad, he was.

“Well then, _help me,_ why don’t ya?”  Harry challenged.

Niall just raised his eyebrows with a smirk, making him look ridiculous. “Lou has turned you into quite the sassy lad, hasn’t he?”

Liam and Harry groaned in union, Liam whining, “Please don’t ever use the word ‘sassy’ again, Niall. Gosh.”

Niall just rolled his eyes and continued to type into his phone, and Harry was lost. What the hell should he do now?

“Hazza, mate,” Niall called after a few minutes of silence, making his bandmates look over to him, “we got a show this Saturday, yeah?”

They both nodded.

“Why don’t ya invite Lou and sing that new song you wrote for him… to him?”

Harry’s eyes widened. Niall was a fucking genius.

“You’re a fucking genius,” Harry smiled and kissed Niall’s cheek soundly and wetly, making the Irish lad whine.

“You’re disgusting,” he yelled, but Harry didn’t care, he was running out of the room to call his manager.

That was going to be fucking brilliant.

X

_Please come to the show on Saturday and watch us play. Zayn’s got the details. I miss you.- H .xx_

Now, what the fuck? Louis didn’t want to go to the show, thank you very much, he didn’t want to see Harry until he proved that he loved him! Or cared for him, whatever. But Zayn pestered him to go, so of course he had to.

“Why do you know everything about this, anyway?” Louis asked Zayn with a cocked eyebrow, eyeing his best mate.

“Liam told me,” Zayn answered, unbothered, while munching on his cereal.

“Oh yeah, Liam,” Louis smirked, “I saw you in a magazine the other day. You and lover boy hand in hand, walking through the shopping centre. How cute!”

Zayn smiled at him timidly and Louis immediately softened, he knew how Zayn was. The thing with Zayn was that he didn’t fall as easily as Louis did, he just didn’t trust people as much, but when he did, he fell hard. The person had to be special though, because getting Zayn to open up to you is quite the challenge. Long story short, Zayn learnt from his mistakes, Louis didn’t, and Liam must have been a special fucker for Zayn to like him that way.

“Yeah, I know… He didn’t want us to be papped at all, but when I saw them, I just… I grabbed his hand, and yeah… That was it, really.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “And he was okay with it?”

Zayn nodded with a smile. “Yeah, he just held my hand. We didn’t talk about it yet, but we will have to, soon. I gotta know what’s happening between us, y’know?”

Louis smiled softly. “I totally understand, and I’m happy for you, Zee. I really am.”

Zayn smiled back, before grinning widely. “So you coming tonight or what?”

Louis exaggerated a sigh as he looked off into the distance. “Do I have another choice? I am being _forced_ to listen to good music and spend time with my best mate, but well. You gotta do what you gotta do, eh?”

Zayn started laughing. “Drama queen!” he yelled before mussing up Louis’ hair and running out of the room, Louis chasing him.

X

They arrived at the club the boys would hold they’re concert in about an hour before the show was supposed to start, and _of course_ Liam had to send a driver so his precious Zaynie and his best friend wouldn’t have to take the tube. You see, their car broke down about a week prior, and there was no way for them to fix it, they didn’t have enough money. The bills were hard to pay anyway, they didn’t need extra trouble with the car. They were just both happy that it wasn’t all too cold outside for them to walk to places.

“Zaaayn,” Liam yelled when he saw them, running over to them and engulfing Zayn in a bone crushing hug. The two of them were swaying from side to side while laughing into each other’s necks, and Louis rolled his eyes at their sappiness. “Hey Lou!” Liam then greeted him and gave him a short hug, patting his shoulder. “How’s it going?”

Louis knew by then that Liam and Harry had made up, and there was no point in being closed and secretive around Liam. He was a good guy, and Louis liked him a lot. “Oh y’know, I manage.”  Liam gave him a sympathetic albeit genuine smile, and Louis returned it.

His skin started to itch and he started to look around for Harry. He wanted to see him, but he really didn’t, at the same time. Louis felt very weird altogether.

“He’s not here yet,” came Liam’s voice from his right, and Louis startled for a second before nodding and smiling thankfully.

The three of them made their way to a small dressing room, chatting and bickering around, before it was time for Liam to go find Niall and Harry to get ready for the show.

“Always the same with those two,” he grumbled while adjusting his in- ears, “they disappear shortly before we’re due on stage and everyone has trouble finding them.”

Louis let out a surprised laugh, “Never deemed Harry to be the mischievously spontaneous one.” Liam smirked at him, chuckling. “You have no idea, mate.”

Louis and Zayn went to stand as close to the small stage as they could, the drinks they ordered clutched in their hands tightly as they waited for the boys to get onstage. “You nervous?” Zayn asked Louis and Louis’ first instinct was to protest, why the hell should he be nervous, but he knew he couldn’t fool anyone here so he just nodded.

“I know that we’re gonna have to talk after the show, me and him. No matter what happens, we gotta have a lengthy talk. And… I’m scared of what will happen, to be honest.” He was thankful when Zayn gave him a tight hug and ensured him that everything was going to be alright. For now, Louis didn’t want to think of it, so he just downed his rum and coke and waited patiently for Lover Undercover to rock the stage.  

Suddenly the lights in the room were dim, and sure enough, there were the opening chords of one of Louis’ favourite songs. He looked up to see Liam and Niall getting hyped up already, but nothing compared to how Harry looked like when he stepped onto the small stage. He was wearing a flannel with the few first buttons undone, and his hair was tied back in a headscarf. Louis tried hard not to dribble at the sight, he really did.

Harry’s voice was loud and energetic, no matter what song they played, and Louis felt like crying with how much he missed him. He missed his laugh and his shenanigans and how nice he was to everyone and how happy he would look like when singing and his ridiculously big hands and his messed up soft hair and his eyes that sometimes had that crystal clear colour and.

Louis just hoped they would be alright.

After 6 songs have been played, the spotlight turned to Harry only, and he put his mic on the micstand, clearing his throat. “The next and last song for tonight is a new one,” he spoke, and smiled at the few people who whooped loudly, “I want to dedicate this song to one very special boy in the audience, a boy whom I’ve written this song for.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and Louis’ heart hammered loudly in his chest. He wasn’t sure if Harry was really doing this, doing it in front of so many bloody people that would sure make this public and- oh, God. Louis choked on a breath as Harry looked over the mass of people, directly into his eyes, and spoke, “I hope this proves enough, Lou.”

Niall started opening the song and soon Liam joined him, the instruments sounding amazing and the slight playback making the atmosphere cozy.    
Harry’s strong and deep voice started to fill the room, and the lyrics made Louis tear up. He couldn’t believe Harry wrote that for _him._

 _What time you coming down?_  
We started losing light.  
I'll never make it right  
If you don't want me around. 

Harry sounded straight out beautiful even more than usual, and he never broke eye contact with Louis. The smaller lad didn’t dare to look away, of course.   
He could see the emotion on Harry’s face, in his eyes, and he meant every single word. And when the chorus came, it hit Louis fucking hard.

_Don't you see me now?_

Harry looked right at him, and then all three boys sang the next line.  
 _I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you,_  
Don't you need me?  
I, I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you,  
And on this night and in this light,  
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

He could see Harry’s eyes glistening as he finished the first chorus,  
 _Maybe you'll change your mind-  
I think I'm falling, I think I'm falling_

_…_

_You're all I need  
According to your heart,  
My place is not deliberate,  
Feeling of your arms  
I don't wanna be your friend,  
I wanna kiss your_ _neck_

_…_

When the song finished, Louis was stunned to silence. He couldn’t move or take his eyes off Harry, and it seemed as if Harry felt the same. Louis received a pointed look before the boys had to go offstage, the crowd cheering and clapping, but Louis couldn’t hear anything but his heartbeat.

Harry just told him he was in love with him. In fucking love. He sang the song he wrote for Louis, and Louis only, _to_ him in front of about two hundred people. Wow. He didn’t know what to say or do, he just knew that he had to see his boy _right fucking now._

“Go backstage, what the fuck are you waiting for?” Zayn spoke into his ear, and yeah. He should probably do that. He quickly went back to the rooms they were in before, and when he opened the door to one, he saw Harry standing there, seemingly waiting.

“Harry,” Louis breathed out and Harry looked up at him, a small shy smile on his lips.

“Did you… Did you like the show?”

The way he said it, so quiet and unsure, made Louis tear up. He nodded before quickly making his way over to Harry and grabbing him by the back of his neck, pulling him down for a bruising kiss. They poured all their emotions into that one single kiss, all the love, lust, anger, sadness, and longing. Harry’s arms wrapped around Louis’ waist to pull him closer, and they snogged like that for a few minutes.

“Fuck,” Louis breathed against Harry’s mouth as they broke apart, “can’t believe you did that for me. You wrote _a song_ for me, Harry.” The curly haired lad just smiled sheepishly, shrugging.

“Had to get it out somehow, y’know. Didn’t take too long, anyway.” Louis just smiled and kissed his again, their tongues meeting after a few moments, making the kiss steamier. “Lou, no,” Harry interrupted as Louis’ hand crept up his shirt, “wanna take it slow, okay? How about we talk first?”

Louis was a little surprised, Harry never wanted to “take it slow”, but apparently he really wanted to make things work and talk first. Louis’ heart melted a little. “Okay, sure. Uhm… Here? Or, uhm…” He was so insecure all of a sudden, he didn’t know how to act around Harry anymore, now that a lot of things were very different between them.

And of course, Harry sensed as much. He grabbed Louis’ head and leaned in close so their foreheads were touching, steadily keeping eye contact. “Hey, hey. Look at me,” he whispered, “it’s just us, yeah? Nothing’s changed, we’re the same people. We just… Elaborated some feelings, which…,” he chuckled a little, making Louis smile, “ _is quite_ some scary shit, but we’re gonna get through this, yeah? It’s just us, baby.”

Louis then wrapped his arms around Harry’s middle and buried his face in his chest, enjoying the way Harry was holding him tight. He was so fucking glad they were going to figure it out, make it better. “I missed you so much,” he muttered against the fabric of Harry’s flannel.

“Missed you too,” came the answer before a kiss was planted on top of Louis’ head, “C’mon now, let’s go. I’m taking you home with me.” They broke apart and Harry took Louis’ hand in his, leaving the room and seeing that everyone was waiting for them outside.

Niall was the first one to start cheering loudly. “Fuck yes! They made up, thank fucking God!” he shouted, making everyone smile and laugh. Zayn and Liam only gave them secretive smiles, and Louis knew they played a huge part in Louis and Harry making up. Without them, they wouldn’t have started talking again as quickly as they did.

As always, Louis took the back entrance while Harry had to face the paps, but they got to Harry’s house together, and Louis was so ready for that fucking relationship talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me on tumblr at loubrator.tumblr.com


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the new chapter! Thank you all so much for waiting, and reading, you're the best! Kudos and Comments are appreciated!!! Talk to me on my tumblr, loubrator.tumblr.com :)
> 
> Enjoy! Xxx.

When Harry got to the house, Louis was already waiting for him, being let in by Harry’s bodyguard who had a spare key. He toed off his shoes and stepped into the living room, leaning against the doorframe and watching Louis. Louis, who was standing in front of the book shelf, flipping through a small photo album with pictures of Harry and his family, smiling softly. Harry was so, so glad to have him back.

You see, it wasn’t easy for him to do what he had done that night. Confessing his feelings, singing about it in front of a crowd, it made him more nervous than usual. Of course he had to talk to his management team first, to see how much damage he would cause if he admitted to everything so publically. They said not more than he did when he used to sleep around, and maybe a steady relationship would even get him a cleaner image. He had scoffed when they had said that, of course his manager would only thing about Harry’s career.

The only problem now was, what if Louis wasn’t ready for outing their relationship? What if he didn’t want the whole world to know? Louis’ voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“Didn’t hear you coming in,” he spoke softly while waling over to Harry, wrapping his arms around his neck, Harry wrapping his around Louis’ middle. “Really cute baby pics, by the way.”

Harry chuckled and shook his head, he was so happy that it all worked out. He was scared to have the talk they had to have, but he knew it was important. He knew it was something they both needed.

“What you thinking about?” Louis asked.  
Harry looked up and smiled at him, kissing his lips chastely, once. “I’m really glad we’re gonna work this out,” he said after a few moments, and his heart started beating like crazy when he saw that Louis was beaming, nodding along. “Me too, we will! We _have_ to!”

“We have to,” Harry agreed before letting go of Louis and walking into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. “D’ya wanna drink something? You hungry?” He wanted them to get into bed comfortably and then talk, it wasn’t an easy thing to do.

“Nah,” Louis responded from down the hallway, making his way into Harry’s bedroom. Harry followed him and smiled as he saw Louis taking off his shirt. “Is it okay if I take it off? Or… Should I- I dunno…”

Harry chuckled and kissed Lou’s cheek, “Do whatever you want to. Not like I haven’t seen it all before. Well, actually, please do. It’s been a while.” Louis burst out laughing and Harry prided himself on that. It eased his nervousness a bit, hearing Louis laugh. Louis took off his jeans and shirt, pulling on sweatpants he found in Harry’s wardrobe, and getting under the covers. Harry did the same, although he didn’t shower after the show, but Louis seemingly didn’t care about that much, snuggling into Harry’s chest right as he lay down.

“So, relationship stuff,” Harry announced a bit uneasily, and Louis hummed in acknowledgement. “Who starts?”

Louis looked up at him and smiled shyly, “Can I?” Harry nodded immediately and tightened his arms around Louis, urging him to go on. “Okay, so. From the very beginning I thought this couldn’t last, and- hey, let me speak. It’s okay,” he interrupted himself as he saw Harry’s frown, “It’s all good. We’re just talking yeah? Okay, so, I felt like… I felt like you were totally out of my league, and that you’d leave me eventually anyway. I mean, look at you, you’re Harry Styles.” He looked anywhere but into Harry’s eyes, getting insecure, and Harry let out a deep sigh. He must’ve crushed Louis’ self- esteem properly, then, amazing job.

“Baby,” he murmured, lifting Louis’ chin with his thumb and forefinger, “I’m so sorry you’ve felt this way. Why didn’t you… I don’t know, say something?”

“Because I didn’t want to seem clingy,” Louis got a little louder, “I didn’t want to make it a big deal, because then you would’ve left me even earlier. I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with you and not think about anything too much!”

“Do you still feel that way?” Louis’ silence was all he needed, and he pulled Louis closer to his body, holding his head to his chest. “Oh baby,” He mumbled against Louis’ hair, kissing it, “Please don’t think of yourself that way. When I first met you, at that club in America, you were the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen. And that didn’t change to this day. I promise you, Lou. You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

There it was, he said it. He said it and there was no going back. Harry panicked a little when Louis’ body froze up all of a sudden, but immediately relaxed as the older boy asked, “D’you mean that?”

Harry nodded. “Of course I do,” kissing Louis’ forehead. Louis hugged him closer, then, throwing his leg over Harry’s hip so there wasn’t an inch between them. “I love you too,” he whispered against the spot where Harry’s shoulder met his neck, “so fucking much.”

They kissed, then, passionately and for a long time, tongues swiping and breath becoming shorter and erratic, and they had the time of the world.

“Go on, babe,” Harry prompted after their snogging session, his lips swollen and voice rough. Louis smiled and cleared his throat. “I’m… Just- thank you. For telling me all of that.” He was getting shy again, Harry could tell, but it was okay. He kissed Louis’ cheek, and Louis continued talking. “What I said about us, y’know, That Night, I didn’t mean it. It just kinda slipped and it wasn’t at all what I was thinking. Yes, we weren’t dating, but. It did feel like it, a little bit, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I know exactly what you’re saying,” Harry said quietly, “It was so different from the beginning of our relationship.”

“Exactly!” Louis agreed, “It wasn’t official, but it was… Something. I know I said the wrong thing, but when I saw you, and-,” he had to stop and take a deep breath, Harry’s grip around him tightened, “When I saw that video, I felt. I didn’t know what I felt. Sadness? Disappointment? Anger? I don’t know. I just know that it felt like I was falling apart, and I was so angry at myself for letting it get that far, y’know? I was fucking furious at myself for letting you in.”

Louis had tears in his eyes and Harry saw how hard he was trying not to cry, and it pained him. Louis should be able to be himself around me, he thought, why isn’t he showing this side of him? He hugged Louis close again and kissed his cheek. “I was such an idiot,” Harry mumbled, mostly to himself, “I’m so sorry, Lou. Please forgive me for that, I never wanted it to happen, please…” He was near tears himself, but he didn’t want to come off as whiny. He didn’t need Louis to be angry at him, after all that happened.

Louis shushed him and cupped his cheek with his palm, smiling softly with tear tracks on his cheeks. “Of course you’re forgiven, love. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, it’s in the past, right? It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”

Harry shook his head. “No, it doesn’t, you’re right. I’m still sorry.” Louis kissed his lips softly, murmuring “I love you” against them, and Harry said it back immediately. He didn’t even have to think twice about it, and he never would’ve thought he’d change so much in such a short time. “I’m glad we’ve come this far, though,” said Louis, “I don’t think I would’ve gotten over you easily.”

“No need for that, baby,” Harry kissed him again, “You got me now, for as long as you wanna have me.” He rolled them over so he was on top of Louis and propped himself up over him, peppering Louis’ face with kisses and making him giggle. “I mean, only if you wanna.”

Louis looked at him puzzled. “Whaddya mean, Harold?”

“Louis William Tomlinson, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Louis laughed at that, chants of ‘yes’ leaving his mouth as he pulled Harry down by his neck and kissed him deeply. When they pulled apart, they stared at each other for a few minutes, smiling. “The media’s gonna have to know, though,” Harry informed Louis after a few minutes, “are you okay with that? ‘cause damage control is gonna be nearly impossible after tonight.”

Louis seemed to think about it for a bit before shrugging, “They can know about me, I don’t care. As long as I don’t get any weird stalkers or anything.”

“Your biggest stalker is gonna be me,” Harry laughed, tickling Louis’s sides and enjoying the way he screeched and laughed, “Never gonna let you out of eyesight again.”

“Same for you, Styles!” Louis yelled and kicked Harry’s shin, distracting him so he could get out of his grip and on top of him. 

They were both laughing and smiling at each other, and when they had calmed down, Harry whispered, “You’ll never have to worry again, baby. I’m yours, yeah? All yours. And you’re mine.”

Louis’ grin vanished and a soft, small smile made its way onto his face. “I’ll always be yours.” Louis bent down to kiss him while his arms were beside Harry’s head, keeping Louis upright, and their chests were touching, not an inch apart. When Harry’s hands found their way to Louis’ bum and squeezed it, Louis plunged his tongue into Harry’s mouth and they both started grinding against each other softly, soft breaths leaving their mouths and getting swallowed by the other.

Louis moved onto Harry’s jaw and kissed his way to his throat and neck, leaving soft bites and pecks wherever he planted his lips on. Licking a stripe up Harry’s throat, Louis smirked dirtily before grinding his ass harder onto Harry’s cock, making the other boy’s breath hitch.

“Damn, baby,” Harry breathed with a grin, he was so fucking excited to have Louis this way again, and in mere seconds he flipped them over so he was on top again. He ignored Louis’ protesting whine and started sucking bruises onto his neck and collarbones, his hands touching Louis’ skin under his shirt.  “I wanted to ride you,” Louis whined again, squirming and bucking his hips to get Harry to move away from him, but the younger boy wasn’t having any of it.

Harry showed his hips down to still Louis’ movements, pinning him down to the mattress and pulling away with a wild look in his eyes. “No, Louis,” he spoke fiercely, “I’m gonna have my way with you tonight, baby boy,” he resumed his kissing on Louis’ neck, but he didn’t stop whispering dirty words into Louis’ ear, “gonna fuck you good and hard, just how you like it,” he sucked two blooming hickeys onto his boys’ collarbones, “gonna make you come so much tonight, Lou, you’re gonna love it,” finally, he moved up and kissed Louis’ sweet spot behind his ear before whispering, “gonna come in that pretty little asshole and make you _mine._ ”

Louis’ desperate whine was all he needed to know he’d pushed the right buttons, and after a few more kisses to Louis’ lips, Harry pulled away to get his and Louis’ shirt off. Louis lay there with his hands crossed behind his head, smirking up at Harry who was removing the rest of his clothing. “Mhhh, how did I get so lucky to get a boyfriend as hot as you are?” He ran his hands up and down Harry’s torso as the other boy was kneeling above him, smirking as well.

“Asking myself the same thing sometimes, babe,” Harry bent down to kiss Louis before sitting himself on Louis’ chest, “You gonna suck me a little, now?”

Louis nodded eagerly and gripped Harry in his hand, wanking him as best as he could with the position they were in, before slowly starting to suckle on the tip of his boyfriend’s cock. Harry cursed loudly when he saw the innocent look Louis was giving him from beneath him, paired with the hard, pink cock in his sinful mouth. He was going to be the death of Harry, Harry was sure of it.

Louis pushed the shaft to Harry’s stomach and started sucking on his balls, kissing the base of his length occasionally, and Harry couldn’t help but grip his hair while his other hand was steadying him on the headboard.   
He loved to see Louis submissive like this. Don’t get him wrong, he loved to please Louis’ too, one of his favourite things being to eat Louis out and suck him off until he screamed, completely at his mercy, but this. This was something completely different. Louis had all the power, of course, but he chose to give Harry whatever he wants, decided to suck him off just how Louis knows Harry likes it, always so fucking eager to please, and. And to be very and completely honest, Harry was feeling honored to be treated so generously by the older lad.

“Fucking hell, baby…,” Harry moaned out when Louis started to nibble at Harry’s foreskin, and they really had to stop because Harry hadn’t had him in so fucking long, and pretty much anything Louis did could’ve made him shoot right then and there. “Lou, get off my cock. Can’t,” he groaned, and with one last kiss to his tip, Louis let go of Harry’s dick. “Fuck, you’re getting better at this every single time.”

Louis hummed, licking his lips and cleaning all the spit off his chin, “Still love to practice with you, though, “ he smirked and Harry let out a chuckle, grabbing him by his ankles and dragging him to the edge of the bed. He suppressed his laugh at Louis’ squeal as he got onto his knees at the end of the bed, ordering Louis to turn onto his stomach. “Missed your ass, baby,” Harry breathed as he looked at Louis’ bum right in front of it, and he heard Louis chuckle all of a sudden. “What’s so funny?” he asked with a smile, slapping Louis’ ass lightly, making the other boy groan.

“Well,” Louis spoke, voice muffled from where he had his face buried in his arms, “your dirty talk is on point tonight, and I must say I’ve missed that, too. And getting eaten out by you, of course, but that’s not new to you, is it?”

Harry chuckled, kissing Louis’ reddening bum cheek from where he had slapped it. “Still like hearing how much you love it, though,” he smiled, and with that he spread Louis open and dove right in, licking and sucking at the rim. Louis gasped soundly, going pliant under Harry’s tongue and hands. Louis spread his legs wider on the bed, giving Harry more space to do his thing.

And boy, did Harry do his thing, and he did it properly.

Licking and kissing Louis’ hole, tonguing at his perineum, and sucking around his rim, everything he could do he did, just to make Louis moan out his name in that delicious way. And it worked. “Harry,” Louis breathed out, lifting his head and looking over his shoulder, “Haz baby, please… Stop teasing me.”

“Whaddya want?” Harry asked in a raspy voice and went right back to work, licking stripes up and down Louis’ crack.

“Inside,” Louis moaned as Harry sucked on his rim especially hard, “In, please.” And that’s what Harry did, he plunged his tongue inside of his boy, fucking his hole and making it slick with spit. He sucked on a finger and added it to it all, making Louis whine loudly. Harry fucked Louis with his tongue and his finger, soon a second one joining in, and the sounds Louis made had Harry even harder than he was before, not that he thought it was possible. Suddenly, he heard Louis let out a keen, with some words following.

“Wha- What did you say, baby?”

“Spank me,” Louis desperately moaned out, “please.”

And, well. They never did that before, but who was Harry to deny his boy any wish? So he pulled his hand back while his face was still buried in Louis’ crack, and smacked it across the right cheek, the sound loud in the otherwise quiet room. Louis threw his head back and moaned for Harry to do it again, before going pliant on the bed again. Harry did, of course, slapping Louis’ left bum cheek twice before running his hand all over the red skin. “Fuck, that’s so hot,” he rasped as he kissed his way up Louis’ spine, to his ear as he hovered above him. “You liked that?”

Louis nodded enthusiastically, “Very. You?”

“Yeah,” was the only thing Harry said, kissing Louis’ neck and then his mouth, deeply. He pushed Louis up the bed so he was on the pillows, still on his tummy. Harry grabbed the lube from the bedside table, squirting a bit onto his palm and rubbing it over Louis’ hole when he spread his legs. Fingering him a bit more, Harry kept kissing and sucking on Louis’ neck. “You’re so beautiful,” Harry whispered quietly, for only Louis to hear.

He was, though, so, so fucking gorgeous, with his hair a mess and his lips swollen, face flushed and loopy grin on his face. Harry loved him a lot. “I love you,” Louis spoke, as if he had heard his thoughts, and they kissed chastely before Harry pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. Louis whimpered as he pushed in, his face buried in his arms, but soon the whimpers turned to desperate moans as Harry’s thrusts became deeper and harder.

“This good for you, baby boy?” Harry groaned, his hips moving at an erratic pace, his right hand playing with Louis’ hair. Louis nodded and gripped Harry’s thigh by reaching behind them, keeping Harry as close as possible to his body. Since they haven’t had sex in God knows how long, and they weren’t used to not have it, they were close quite quickly.

“’m gonna come, Haz,” Louis keened out, “gonna- ah…”  
“Gonna come on my cock, huh? Get yourself all messy for me, baby?” With loud shouts of ‘yes’ and ‘like that’, Louis came and messed up the bedsheets, Harry following soon after. They lay there for a few minutes, catching their breath, before Harry pulled out.

“Nasty,” Louis scrunched his nose up, and at Harry’s raised eyebrows, he explained, “I can feel the come dripping out of me.” Harry only chuckled and stood up, pulling Louis with him, and they made their way over to the bathroom for a shower.

“Up for a round two in the shower?” Harry asked cheekily.

“You bet,” Louis winked, and started running towards the bathroom, “the first one to get there gets his hair washed!”

Harry just laughed and jogged towards him, as if he wouldn’t have washed his boys’ hair anyway.


	13. NOT AN UPDATE, I'M SORRY!!!

I know I haven’t updated this fic in foreverrr (a bit over 2 months, I think) and I’m super sorry for that, but I just don’t have the inspiration nor the motivation to continue writing it, for now, that is. 

I’ve been feeling very down lately and I can’t focus on anything. Forcing myself to finish WTSGD would only lead to bad writing and unhappy me, and I really wanna avoid that. I wanna finish it and make sure that it’s somewhat good when I’m ready to do so. 

If there’s anything I’ve learned in these past horrible days, it’s that sometimes you have to put yourself first, and that’s what I am doing right now. So… Sorry for the people leaving hate messages in my ask box, but it is what it is.

I’m really sorry for all that, and I hope you don’t hate me now, because I love you a whole lot. 

I’ll concentrate on something else that I want to write, and finish When the Sun goes down as soon as I can.

Much love, Naddie Xxx.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is unfairly short considering the amount of time I took with writing, I hope you don't hate me even more now  
> BUT I'll be updating more frequently now, I promise!
> 
> Comments are appreciated, much love Xxx.

Their relationship was going great so far, the fights have stopped, the fans weren’t too pushy, and the media didn’t try to rip them both in shreds. So all in all, it was very lovely.

Until it was time to meet each other’s parents.

Now, don’t get Harry wrong. He felt honored that Louis wanted him to meet the Tomlinson folks, but he was just so damn nervous. He was a celebrity, even though he didn’t like to call himself that, and he totally understood why Louis’ family might judge him for the stuff he does. And besides, there have been enough bad stories about him in the tabloids, he was sure at least one of Louis’ sisters has heard the shitty rumors, and maybe even believed it.

“Don’t worry babe, they’ll absolutely love you,” Louis assured him as they both stood in front of the mirror, getting ready for dinner at the Tomlinson’s. He drove his hands through his fringe a few times, fluffing it up a bit, and Harry loved him so much. He did that often, just stare at what Louis was doing, and even the smallest of things made him realize just how lucky he was to have Louis in his life, all for himself.

Harry stepped up to his boyfriend and leaned down to plant a soft kiss onto his lips. “Just don’t want them to see that you’re way out of my league and then forbid you to be with me,” he smiled and kissed Louis’ smiling lips again.

“My sisters are in love with you, so they’ll try to break us apart for sure,” he smiled as he resumed to fix his hair, and Harry went to get the car started.

The drive to Doncaster was really nerve- wrecking for Harry, his hands were positively shaking, and of course Louis noticed. “Can you pull over the first chance you get, please?” he asked politely, and Harry nodded with a confused face. He stopped the car soon after.

“Are you alright?” he asked concerned. Maybe that sounded a little harsh, he didn’t want Louis to be sick or anything, but he wouldn’t have minded of the dinner would’ve had to get postponed or anything. It wouldn’t have been a problem, really. But of course, it was all alright.

“What are you doing?” Harry questioned as Louis started to unbuckle the belt on Harry’s tight jeans and palming him through his briefs, “Louis, stop that! We’re gonna be late!”

“Blame it on the traffic,” Louis mumbled and suddenly his mouth was on Harry’s bare cock, kissing it up and down slowly to get him hard. Harry loved Louis’ mouth on him, but mostly because Louis was always fucking ecstatic when sucking cock, enthusiastic and so turned on. Harry had no other choice than to enjoy the sight, really. Louis started to swirl his tongue around the tip, covering the shaft in spit and precum. He didn’t have much space to bob his head when taking Harry fully, so he had to get him as close as he could by playing with and licking his dick.

“Fucking tease,” Harry mumbled, pushing Louis’ head down further to encourage him to finally take him into his mouth. But of course, Louis wouldn’t do so.

“Can you let me do my job here?” he asked, glaring at Harry.

“I would if you finally started _your job,_ Louis!” Harry was hard and impatient and nervous and a little pissed off, it was a very emotional day for him. Before he could say any more words, he felt the heat of Louis’ mouth close around his leaking cock, and all of his concerns were blow away. As Louis started to bob his head up and down as best as he could without hitting the steering wheel, Harry could only throw his head back and enjoy the sensations Louis was giving him. He felt a small hand on his balls and he knew Louis wanted to make this quick, but Harry didn’t want this to end at all. He wanted to fuck his boy into oblivion.

Louis was busy licking up Harry’s precum and sucking at his shaft, occasionally taking him as deep as he could for a few seconds, before pulling off and jerking him nice and quick. He didn’t want to be late at his parent’s house, so he had to make Harry come as soon as he could. He felt Harry’s hand in his hair and heard his breaths getting quicker and quicker, signalizing that he was close. That’s when Louis got an idea.

“You gonna come for me, Daddy?” he asked in his most innocent voice, hearing Harry let out a groan.

“Yeah, baby boy, suck Daddy a little more and I’ll be there,” Harry commanded, he couldn’t believe Louis was playing dirty again. He saw a devilish glint in his boyfriend’s eyes, and he knew he did it all on purpose. Such a tease.

A few moments later Harry was bucking his hips up into Louis’ mouth, keening out loudly and coming with Louis’ name on his tongue. “Fucking hell, agh,” Harry panted, wiping the cum off of the corner of Louis’ mouth and feeding it to the boy, before bending down and kissing him on the lips softly.

“You relaxed now?” Louis grinned while adjusting his hair. Harry nodded shortly. “I fucking hope so, because my neck hurts. At least it was worth it.”

“Awww,” Harry cooed while starting the engine, “I’ll massage it when we get to your mum’s.” They both smiled at each other and Harry drove in the direction Louis’ family lived.

He was indeed more relaxed, but the nervousness still lingered in the pit of his stomach. He just hoped it would all be okay.

X

When they got to his mum’s house, Louis could feel Harry get more and more nervous each minute, but of course he didn’t show it. He found it kind of cute, really. It meant that Harry cared, really cared, and Louis couldn’t have been more happy. They rang the doorbell and Harry squeezed Louis’ hand as Jay opened the door and a huge, bright smile made its way onto her face.

“Louis!” she smiled and enveloped him into a tight hug, “I haven’t seen you in ages! You never come down here anymore!”

“Sorry, mum,” he mumbled into her shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent, “I was busy getting my shit together, you know me.”

“I do, baby. I do indeed.” She let go of her son and mustered Harry shortly, before smiling at him warmly. “And you must be Harry. Louis has told me a lot about you whenever we spoke on the phone. My name is Jay.”

“It is very nice to meet you Jay, I’m Harry,” Harry smiled and gave her a box of pralines they had picked up on the way, “heard you like those best.”

Jay took it with a smile and hugged Harry tightly, catching him and also Louis off guard. Louis’ mum was usually stricter when it came to her children and their partners, but not with Harry. It seemed like Lottie and Fizzy have told her a lot about him, then.

See, Harry was a good hearted and charming person on and off camera, so it wasn’t hard for the world to see the real him. Or a part of it, at least. Yes, he did party and drink and occasionally smoke, but that didn’t make him a bad person. Louis was glad his mum understood that.

They all got inside the house, and immediately Louis had two girls hanging off him, both of them giggling and laughing. “Lou! We missed you so much!” Phoebe and Daisy smiled, hugging their brother tight. He grabbed them both and picked them up, one in each arm, and they all hugged like that for a little while. He had missed them like crazy. With all the shit he had going on in the past, money problems and not enough time and working three jobs and drinking himself into oblivion in his free time, he couldn’t go home and visit his family. Partly because of those reasons, partly because he didn’t have the guts to face his mother and see the disappointment in her eyes when he told her he wasn’t going to university and he barely survived with the money he and Zayn had.

Now it was better, though. Harry was helping Louis out by buying him shit he needed for the flat and for himself, and Zayn and Liam were planning on moving in with each other, so Louis could start looking for a smaller and less expensive flat. He wasn’t completely okay with Harry spending so much money him, but the younger boy insisted, so Louis let him. Now that he had somehow figured stuff out for the upcoming while, he felt a little bit accomplished, and he knew his mum wouldn’t be absolutely disappointed either. It was all okay, really.

He let the twins down to greet his other sisters, but as he looked to his left, he saw both of them with Harry wrapped up in their arms, swaying from side to side and laughing. The sight warmed his heart, really. He knew Harry texted his sisters from time to time since Louis gave him their numbers, and he also knew how crazy they went when Harry Styles, leadsinger of their favourite band, suddenly texted them. It was all very cute.

“Okay, I get it!” Louis yelled, “I don’t get hugs because I’m not famous. Thank you very much, thanks!” In an instant, Lottie and Fizzy let go of Harry and rushed over to Louis, engulfing him in a group hug.

“We haven’t seen you in so long!” Fizzy sighed into his neck.

“I know,” Lottie added, “kinda missed your ugly face.” She screamed out when Louis poked her sides, it was really convenient she was that ticklish.

They all shared hugs and laughs, and when they were done, they made their way into the living room for tea and biscuits. “Where’s Dan and the twins?” Louis asked excitedly. His mum had gotten pregnant again, and not too long ago she had given birth to another set of twins, Doris and Earnest. Sadly Louis hadn’t seen them to that day, so he wanted to be able to cuddle them instead of cooing at pictures his mum had sent him.

“They’re out, should be back soon, though,” his mum smiled. “So tell me, boys, how’s it going? London being good to you?”

Harry nodded, “It’s all good, actually. The weather is a bit hellish sometimes, you get sick of the rain pretty soon, other than that it’s good.”

“Yes, I agree. And you guys aren’t there, that makes the city more unbearable than it already is.”

Lottie giggled. “Don’t need us when you’ve got Harry Styles in ya bed, eh, Lou?”

Louis and Harry both started blushing furiously while everyone laughed, but Louis found it cute. The atmosphere in the room was so comfortable, he really loved being home.

Dan and the twins came home about an hour later, and when Louis had seen them, he had shed a few tears. First he hugged Dan and immediately after he took Doris and Earnie into his lap, playing and cuddling with them. Harry loved babies as well, so he was more than ecstatic to have Doris climb around his lap and pull at his shirt, and the rest of the family only cooed at them the whole time.

“Can’t wait to have my own one day,” Harry commented with a smile, and Louis’ heart started beating rapidly. He couldn’t wait either. He couldn’t wait to have a house and a family and kids to take care of and a son to teach playing football and a daughter to spoil and a dog to chase around parks, and seeing Harry with his younger siblings made him realize one huge thing.

He wanted all of that with Harry.

Suddenly he started panicking, as he always did, and he gave Earnest over to Lottie. “Sorry, I gotta use the loo real quick.” His mum noticed his mood change and gave him a confused look, but he ignored it as he passed by. The rest of the people in the room stayed oblivious.

He shut himself into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bathtub, taking in a few deep breaths. He had always wanted a family, but never was there a specific person that Louis imagined a future with, and then there was Harry and Louis knew, he was the one. It made his head spin in a way he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

He jumped when there was a knock on the door.

“Yeah?” he asked, and soon enough his mother came in, closing the door behind her.

“What’s wrong, boo?” she asked, worry in her voice, and Louis just shrugged. He was close to tears.

“I love him, mum,” he whispered brokenly, “I really, really love him.” Tears started rolling down his cheeks and in a minute she was by his side, holding him close and shushing him quietly.

“I figured you do, but baby, why are you crying?”

“Because I’m so scared,” he wailed, and Jay just cooed at him shortly before letting him cry, there to comfort him. When he calmed down, she spoke again.

“Listen, I know it’s a very scary thing, love is, but you have to let it happen. You have to let yourself be happy, Lou. You deserve it, you deserve him. And he deserves you just as much. Okay?”

Louis nodded with a small smile and thanked his mum, letting her get back to the others before trying to fix himself up in the mirror, washing the tear tracks off his face. Suddenly, there was another knock.

“Be there in a sec, mum,” he called out, but the person in the hallway wasn’t his mum.

“Lou?” came Harry’s raspy voice, “you okay in there?”

Louis put on a smile as bright as he could, walking over to Harry and hugging him. “Yeah, just felt a little sick,” he whispered against his shoulder, “but I’m good now.”

“Are you sure? Were you- Lou, were you crying?” Harry couldn’t hide the worry in his voice, and it made Louis queasy, he didn’t want to have to explain anything.

“Yeah, I just- I missed my family so much, and I got so emotional when I got to see them again,” he explained, and it wasn’t even too far from the truth.

“Oh, baby,” Harry whispered, and hugged him tighter, rubbing his back, “I’m glad you’re happy, though.”

They got back to the others, and Louis couldn’t shake the uneasiness for the rest of the night, no matter how hard he tried.

X

“And she is so cute, Louis, you’d love her!” Harry exclaims as they were talking on the phone about Harry’s stylist’s daughter . Harry was somewhere in America for a magazine shoot with his band, and Louis was sitting alone in Zayn’s guest bedroom. He had moved in with Liam the week before, and the loneliness in Louis’ flat got to be too much. He had to find a new flat anyway, the landlord would let him live in his current one for about a month for free, but then he had to get out. Harry still didn’t offer to let Louis move in with him. Louis tried not to dwell on it too much.

“I don’t doubt that for a second, I love kids,” Louis smiled, thinking of all the kids he had babysat in his life. He had gotten along with all of them.

“Yeah? You want some, one day?”

“Definitely,” Louis deadpanned, and Harry chuckled.

“Same,” he smiled, “when the time is right, and I stop being too busy with my career.”

Louis started to coo at him. “Little Harry babies running around, that’d be cute!”

Harry laughed. “Right? But that can wait.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

After a short silence, Louis heard Harry clear his throat. “Um, Lou?”

“Yeah, love?”

“So, like, you know how you’re looking for a new flat, right?” Harry asked, going for nonchalant, but sounding nervous.

 “Yeah…?” Louis mumbled, curious as to what Harry is trying to say.

“And you haven’t found anything yet, am I correct?”

“Yes, Harry, you are. What are you getting at?”

“Do you maybe, like, I know it may be too soon- and I’m sorry if I’m rushing you- but I was wondering, if you, like-“

“Harry!” Louis yelled and started laughing, happiness bubbling up inside of him, “Are you asking me if I wanna move in with you?”

Harry let out a huff, and soon enough, “Yeah, that’s- yeah,” Harry mumbled sheepishly.

“Yes!” Louis exclaimed with a smile on his face, and he could imagine how hard Harry must’ve been beaming.

“Really?”

“Yes, babe. Thank you, and I love you.”

“Love you too, babe,” Harry said with fondness in his voice, and they started talking about how it’d be to live with each other, how it’d be to wake up with each other, and Louis couldn’t bloody wait.

He knew that it was probably a little too soon, but he wouldn’t be Louis Tomlinson if he weren’t making bad decisions and diving into relationships too fast and too soon, and besides, he trusted Harry. He trusted Harry with his life.

And if it’d turn out to be a bad decision, Louis didn’t care. He didn’t care one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loubrator.tumblr.com


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IS THE NEXT ONE and I will probably write about two more and then that will be it... PLEASE leave suggestions as to what you want to happen in the last chapters, you would help my writers block immensly. 
> 
> Talk to me on loubrator.tumblr.com :)
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated Xxx.

Harry was rubbing Louis’ back as he was throwing up into the toilet, trying to soothe him somewhat because he knew how scared Louis got when he had to throw up, he’d always had the fear of choking.

“Let it all out, there’s a good lad,” Harry whispered, holding Louis’ head as he was about to collapse into the toilet. “Damn babe, what have you eaten?”

Louis spat one more time before wiping his mouth with a piece of toilet paper, shrugging. “Nothing bad, actually. No idea why I feel this way.”

They’ve both had a long day the day before, doing PR stuff because of their outed relationship, Harry had had a lot of meetings and Louis wanted to come along.

“Maybe you have the flu?” Harry asked, worry on his face.

Louis smiled closed- mouthed and stroked down Harry’s cheek. “Yeah, probably.”

X

“Ugh, I hate my life,” Louis groaned as he stepped outside of the bathroom the next morning, a sleepy Harry waiting for him on the bed.

“You puked again?”

Louis nodded, getting under the covers and snuggling up to Harry, enjoying the way the bigger boy wrapped his arms around him.

“Will you take me to the doctor’s later, please?” Louis mumbled against Harry’s chest, he felt so drained.

“’course, right when we get up, yeah?”

And they fell asleep again.

X

“Mr. Tomlinson, we got the blood test results back,” the doctor said, sitting down in her big chair.

They were at the hospital three days later, waiting to see what exactly Louis’ got. The throwing up and dizziness hadn’t stopped.

Louis and Harry were holding hands, watching the doctor open the file and read through it.

“Well, congratulations, you are pregnant!” the doctor announced, a smile splitting her face, but Louis dropped Harry’s hand like he’s been burned.

Pregnant? Impossible. He wasn’t fertile, his mother would’ve told him if he would’ve been. He never had problems with not using protection with his boyfriends, so why would he be _pregnant now?_

Harry was still beside him, staring at the doctor in disbelief. Louis couldn’t be still though, he was panicking. “Are you- are you sure you’ve got the right file?” he asked, voice shaky, “b- because I’m not-“

“I am certain, Mr. Tomlinson,” the doctor confirmed, the smile had left her face a long time ago, “you’ve been experiencing morning sickness.”

Louis felt as if he might get sick now, looking at the woman before him in shock. He turned to his right and saw Harry staring at the floor with a hard expression on his face, his jaw twitching.

“Harry-“ Louis whispered and reaches out, but Harry shrugged him off and stood up, bolting out of the room.

Louis looked at the doctor who had a sympathetic look on her face. “I’ll call and make an appointment, if that’s alright, I really gotta go. Thank you!”

She nodded and soon he was out the door, speed walking towards the exit and following after Harry. They had their car parked on a private parking lot, so there were no paps and no fans, thank God. Louis wasn’t sure if he could’ve handled that.

“Harry! Harry, wait! Please!” he yelled after his boyfriend who was storming to the car. Suddenly he turned, and Louis could see his nostrils flaring in anger.

“Pregnant!” he scoffed loudly and threw his hands in the air, looking at Louis disbelievingly, “You are pregnant, Louis! Congratu-fucking-lations!”

Louis let the tears slip past his eyes as he stood there frozen, his hands shaking pathetically.

“I don’t have time for a baby, Louis! I can’t do this right now! How could you not tell me you were fertile?” Harry screamed at him, and Louis closed his eyes as he cried, he hated being shouted at.

“I- I didn’t-“

“You didn’t what, Louis?” Harry spat angrily, “You didn’t know how to tell me? Didn’t it cross your mind to subtly hint at using protection at least? Do you know what we have to deal with, now?”

“I didn’t _know_ , nobody told me, I’m- I am _so sorry_ -“ he couldn’t finish the sentence as his knees gave out and he sunk to the floor, right there on the empty parking lot.

He was crying into his hands when he felt arms wrap around him, the familiar scent of Harry’s cologne hitting him. He started chanting apologies like a mantra, but Harry’s deep voice only shushed him repeatedly, rocking him back and forth.

Louis didn’t even want to know what they looked like, sitting on the floor outside of a hospital, hugging and crying.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, it’s just.” Harry couldn’t meet Louis’ eyes, “it’s just a huge shock… I’m sorry, baby, so sorry. Shhh I’m here, Lou.”

Louis threw his arms around Harry’s neck, his crying only growing louder. Harry picked him up and brought him to the car.

The drive was awfully silent, and Louis passed out, the car’s motions lulling him to sleep.

X

When he woke up he was in Harry’s bed, curled up in his arms, no idea how he didn’t feel Harry carry him to the house, but he wasn’t complaining. Dried tear tracks were making his skin feel uncomfortable, and he was itching to wrench himself out of Harry’s arms to avoid whatever conversation they were about to have. He knew he ccouldn’t avoid it, though.

He knew Harry wasn’t sleeping, his breathing wasn’t even enough and he could feel his fingers moving up and down Louis’ spine.

“Please don’t leave me,” is the first thing Louis said, and he could feel his eyes well up.

Harry took a breath to say something, but Louis interrupted him. “Please, I know you don’t have the time nor the energy for a child, and I know your career is important to you, but please, please don’t just give up on us and leave when you don’t feel up for figuring shit out. Hiding this is gonna be impossible, now that we’re out, but please, at least try to make this work,” Louis suddenly felt anger surge through him, “Before you even suggest it, no, I won’t abort this child, and no, I won’t let you walk away, because I had to experience the pain of growing up without a father, and my child is under no circumstances going to go through that, Harry, and that’s the end of it.”

Just as quick as the anger appeared, it disappeared again, he felt grey.

He took a deep, shaky breath, sniffing and quickly wiping at his eyes, trying to hold down the gut wrenching sob that was about to escape him. Harry tightened his arms around Louis’ fragile body, pulling him in even closer.

“I’m not going anywhere, Louis,” he whispered as Louis cried softly, “the last thing I’m gonna do is leave you alone in this. It’s gonna be hard, but fuck, Lou… You’re the first person to show me what love is. How could I let that go?”

He was crying now, as well, but he didn’t care. They needed that moment for themselves, let it all out before trying to figure out what they were gonna do now.

“I love you so much, I’m so sorry,” Louis sobbed, clutching Harry’s shirt and pulling him even closer.

Harry shushed him as he kissed his temples, his nose, and then his lips.

After a few minutes of silence, Harry spoke up. “Are you excited at all?” he asked quietly, biting his lip.

Louis couldn’t help but smile softly, nodding. “Yeah, I am,” he whispered, “how could I not be? Our child is gonna be beautiful.”

“As long as it has most of your genes, sure,” Harry chuckled and Louis looked up at him, pecking his lips.

“Shush, babe. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ hair, “so much.”

They were rocking back and forth, cuddled up in each other’s arms, and soon sleep overtook them, their exhausted bodies finally allowed to have a rest.

X

Management wasn’t happy. Harry’s team was fucking furious, in fact.

“Harry,” Mister So-And-So sighed, fixing his overly tight tie that matched his overly expensive suit while standing in that overly large office in an overly tall building. Harry was sick of pretentious twats telling him what to do. “Harry,” he repeated, “It is one thing to act out to get the media’s attention, but it’s a whole other thing to get your boyfriend pregnant and send thousands of girls and boys all over the world into a frenzy! What were you thinking?”

The man was yelling by then and Harry could only roll his eyes. He looked over to his band mates who were sitting in the leather chairs, eyes trained to the floor. “Listen,” Harry began, taking his eyes off of them, “I have no clue why you brought me here. It’s not like we can change it now, can we? And I won’t break up with him. So this meeting is pointless and a absolute waste of time.” He stood up and shrugged his jacket on. “So, thank you, gentleman, but I will be going.”

As he was about to leave for the exit, Brian, one of the guys on his team, stopped him. “Wait! Wait a second, I have a suggestion.”

Harry turned around and raised his eyebrows expectantly, prompting Brian to speak up. “Instead of planning a huge world tour and the release of a new album within the next year, like we had wanted to, we could meet Harry halfway,” he suggested, and now Harry was intrigued. The rest of the lawyers and managers in the room seemed interested, as well.

“What’s your plan, Miller?” Mister-So-And-So demanded to know, and said man let a grin appear on his face.

“We all want him to go through with another tour and another record, am I correct?” he didn’t wait for confirmation before continuing, “but how about we shrink our plans a little? Let’s send them to an American tour, six months, and Harry will be back to Mr. Tomlinson right before the pregnancy gets hard to handle alone. And about the album…” he eyed Harry with a smile, “Styles here is a clever chap, he’ll have the songs written in no time, and the recording can happen after Mr. Tomlinson gives birth. The rest can be figured out when the time has come, and I honestly don’t think we’re in a position to overfill the boys’ schedule right now. What do you all think?”

Harry looked him up and down before nodding. “Great plan, I’d be in for that.”

The men in the room murmured for a bit, before the boss spoke up. “Alright, we’ll think it through and discuss the details with you later. You’re free to go, boys.”

All three went straight out the door and into the elevator.

“I’m fuckin’ ecstatic for the baby to come, you guys are gonna be great parents,” Niall smiled as they stood next to each other, and Harry smiled gratefully.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be amazing,” Liam pet Harry on the back, and he appreciated their newly found closeness.

“Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I’m sorry for dragging the band into this, though.”

“You kiddin’ us? We’re brothers, here for it all! Who cares when the tour is, as long as we get to tour at all!”

“True,” Liam agreed with Niall, and that was it as they left the building and got ushered into the vehicles that would take them home.

Harry has never been so glad to have his bandmates with him before, supporting his every step.

X

Telling their parents wasn’t as difficult as they thought it would be, although both mothers had given them a lecture about responsibility and safe sex. Both boys were left traumatized.

“This is all so real,” Louis whispered as they were cuddling on the couch one night, Harry insistently rubbing his three months pregnant belly.

“I know, it’s unbelievable,” Harry agreed, “I can’t wait to live trough all of this with you. Our child’s gonna be amazing.”

Louis turned to plant a kiss on Harry’s lips, a hundred pictures in his mind, all showing him his possible future.

He couldn’t wait, either.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER PUT YOU THROUGH, AND I AM ALSO SO DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE SHITTY ENDING. I TRIED. I REALLY DID. BUT I HATE THIS FIC AND I'D LOVE TO DELETE IT, BUT I WON'T, IN CASE THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO LIKES IT. I AM SORRY. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

The shrill sound of a baby crying could be heard through the whole house, and Harry was honestly sick of it. He’d had to get up three times to change poopy diapers and sing babies to sleep, all in one night, and it wasn’t fun. He wanted to wake Louis, wanted to so badly, but he knew that his boyfriend didn’t sleep well at all and even had to take sleeping pills, so he was trying to be considerate and tend to the babies himself. _Once again._

He dragged his body out of bed and stumbled to the room next door, the lights in the hallway on, and took a peek inside of the huge crib to see what baby has started crying. It was Lucas.

“Hey, big boy,” Harry cooed as he took Lucas into his arms, bouncing him up and down slightly, trying to calm him. Lucas had the most trouble sleeping, and Louis and Harry already contemplated putting him in a separate room so he wouldn’t disturb his siblings, but they didn’t have the heart to take him away from his two brothers.

Louis’ had triplets about six months ago, and they named the first one William, second baby was named Lucas, and the youngest was named Xander. It had been a huge surprise that had led to a lot of fights, because they weren’t sure how to deal with three babies at once, but with the help of their mums and their friends, they had figured it out soon enough.

Harry took Lucas to change his diapers and he bounced him around until he fell asleep, a relieved sigh escaping Harry’s lips as he did so. Returning back to bed, he noticed Louis was awake.

“Could’ve woke me up,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss on Harry’s shoulder.

“Nah,” Harry replied, eyes already drooping, “you need your sleep. We don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow, so we can just chill at home with our boys.”

“Sounds good,” Louis yawned, cuddling closer to his boyfriend and soon enough, Harry could hear Louis’ breathing evening out. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life, he was sure of it.

*

The next day started out well enough, Louis got a good night’s sleep, the boys didn’t put up a fuss when Harry fed them, and the couple could enjoy a nice and quiet breakfast. It was all great, except for how the thought of proposing to Louis didn’t leave Harry’s thoughts for even a second.

Whatever Louis did, the only thing Harry could think was, _marry me._ Whenever Louis said something, the only thing Harry could think was, _marry me._ The nerve wrecking beat of _be my husband be my husband be my husband_ became more familiar to Harry as the day went by, and by the end of it, when he was laying in bed with Louis’ head on his chest, he couldn’t shake the feeling of urgency anymore.

He had to do it, and he had to do it as soon as possible.

But he didn’t know if he could. He had no idea _how_ to do it.

Of course he and Louis had talked about marriage countless times, even more so now that their kids were born, but their lives were fairly busy and Harry was supposed to go on tour in a few months and Louis was supposed to start classes at an online university, and they didn’t have the _time._

Planning a wedding seemed like a lot of work, and Harry didn’t want to put Louis under so much pressure, he was stressed enough as it is. So, he wasn’t sure. At all. And even if the wedding wasn’t a problem, Harry found a problem in the proposal itself. How would he do it? Would Louis expect a grand gesture? Should he take him to Paris and propose on the Eiffel Tower? But then again, Louis was never one for clichés and romance. Ugh, it all confused Harry to the point where he couldn’t fall asleep at all, the excitement and nervousness making him shake.

So he did what every person with rational thinking would’ve done in that situation.

“Harry?” came Liam’s groggy voice, making Harry feel a tiny bit guilty for waking him up. Only a tiny bit, though.

“Yeah, hey, Li,” Harry said, propping himself on the kitchen counter, goosebumps on his skin from the cold in the room. “I have a question?”

“A question.” Liam deadpanned, “at… Three in the morning.”

“Yes, Liam. It can’t wait.”

He heard Liam sigh on the other end. “Let’s hear it, then.”

“What if I proposed to Louis?”

There was silence for a long moment. Then, “Well. What then?”

Harry was so frustrated, he could’ve ripped his own hair out. “ _Well,_ what do you think he’d say?”

“He’d say yes, of course? Why?” Harry didn’t say anything for a few long moments, opting to stare at his toes instead. “Why?” Liam repeated, before going on, “Harry Styles, are you doubting yourself right now?” He could hear the smirk in Liam’s voice.

“No, of course not,” Harry scoffed, biting his lip in nervousness, “of course he’d say yes, I know that. I do.”

“Oh, and that’s why you’re calling me in the middle of the night to talk to me about it?”

“Liaaaaaaam!” Harry whined, before remembering his sleeping family and quickly shutting up.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Liam chuckled, before taking on a serious note, “Harry. Don’t be dumb. He loves you. You have _children_ together, for fuck’s sake!”

“But the children weren’t exactly wanted in the beginning.” Harry always felt guilty saying that, but it was true. He’d never refer to his kids as “mistakes”, because they aren’t, and never will be, mistakes. They were a happy accident, maybe, very unexpected, but they made his life so much better. He loved them more than anything.

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you and the happy little family you have both created. Honestly, stop worrying. Pop the question and live happily ever after, you idiot.”

Liam wasn’t wrong. “Right. Yes. Thank you, man. I love you.” Harry let out a deep breath and hung up, walking into the bedroom again. He let himself down next to Louis, and fell asleep within minutes, a content feeling in his belly.

*

A few weeks later, after Harry had bought the ring and given himself a dozen pep talks, he was ready to ask Louis. Like, really fucking ready.

He just didn’t know how, or where. So he had to ask someone for advice, once again. Not knowing who to ask, he turned to Zayn.

“I dunno, man,” Zayn drawled lazily from where he was sitting on his couch, Harry on the love seat across from him. “But you know Louis isn’t picky, just go to dinner with him and ask him there.”

“No,” Harry frowned, “that’s too ordinary. I also don’t wanna do it in public.”

Zayn shrugged. “Write him a fuckin’ song, why don’t you?”

And that. That was a brilliant idea.

“Zayn, you’re a genius!” Harry yelled as he stood up, kissing Zayn on the forehead and running out of his flat. Zayn just chuckled, amused, before taking another drag from his cigarette.

*

Lover Undercover had a small concert a week later, only people who were on the guest list could enter, and Harry knew that it was the perfect night to ask Louis to marry him. The kids were at his mum’s in Cheshire, and Louis and Harry had planned to drive there as well, after the concert. Seemed like they had to wait, though.

“And the last song of the night is dedicated to the love of my life, give it up for Louis Tomlinson, everybody!” Harry smiled as the crowd cheered, Louis blushing from where he was sitting at a table in front of the stage.

Niall and Liam started playing, the slow rhythm causing people to sway slowly, sensually, dancing to the music.

 _“I wanna be your vacuum cleaner_  
Breathing in your dust  
I wanna be your Ford Cortina  
I won't ever rust…”

Harry’s deep voice sang, and soon, Liam started to back him up.

 _“If you like your coffee hot_  
Let me be your coffee pot  
You call the shots babe  
I just wanna be yours…”

For the next part, Harry looked deeply into Louis’ eyes.

 _“Secrets that I have held in my heart_  
Are harder to hide than I thought  
Maybe I just wanna be yours  
I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours  
Wanna be yours, wanna be yours, wanna be yours…”

While the music continued to play, Harry cleared his throat and nervously smiled at Louis before asking, “Louis, baby, will you marry me?”

Louis’ face was shell shocked, his mouth slack and eyes wide and glossy with unshed tears. He was beautiful. He nodded quickly, standing up to run on stage, into Harry’s awaiting arms.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” Louis cried, messily bumping his smiling lips into Harry’s. They both had tears streaming down their faces, muttering _I love you_ ’s into each other’s mouths.

They wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried.


End file.
